It has been a whirlwind of fortnight! With two weddings in the family, many celebrations and great many guests arriving to stay with us, past few days have been really crazy! The last batch of guests just left few minutes back and I was about to post the article scheduled for this week. Instead, am writing about an experience that has left my spirit withered.
I have been very fortunate to be born and raised in the family whose hospitality was considered benchmark for perfect Indian hospitality. I ensured that in 23 years of my marriage that tradition of hospitality continued and our
home has always been open to friends, family and relatives to visit us and be house
guests whenever they wish to, despite our overwhelming schedules. I take immense pride in being a great host as I personally feel that it is an honour to have guests. This age old tradition has provided us wonderfully rich experiences and some of the finest treasured memories that can last lifetime.
However, there have been instances when we had bizarre
experiences when the guests have transgressed the line of hospitality extended and become inquisitive, intruding, unreasonably demanding, judgmental and sometimes
even rude, conveniently forgetting the fact
that the hospitality extended was barely not earned or deserved by them but extended as part of our family tradition and values.
During last week, in one such transgression by one of our guests; a distant relative, we as family were challenged to deliberate provocation and misbehaviour. It was shocking for us to believe that it was not enough for the guest to subject our immediate family to crass inquisitiveness, our domestic
helps and other guests who routinely drop by were also subjected to it. Try explaining
boundaries that you wish to be respected without losing your dignity and
letting your personal etiquettes falter in such cases and you can't imagine what extent sometimes people feel entitled to such behavior!
It is a privilege that people wish to visit your home and want to stay with you. But often one's patience is sorely tried and
it is such moments when one wonders whether the true spirit of hospitality received, is completely understood and respected by
the recipient. The art of receiving love and generosity with the
appropriate comprehension of its true value requires maturity, understanding
and gratitude that comes with open mind. The casual sense of entitlement with which hosts' efforts are sometimes
viewed and the ability to take for granted the thoughtfulness of gestures
received indicates how selfish and insular people can be when attention, care and love is showered on them.
I feel very blessed to have family, friends and relatives who are always keen to be with us because they feel welcomed, respected and pampered. And when they arrive, my spirit within my home is on call 24/7 and I love it that way despite it being very exhaustive! I have my hair tearing moments too; but in the moments when I see nurtured energies translate into life changing spaces, it becomes greatest reward to have found a space for contemplation that holds great potential for deeper bonds.
I have some wonderful tributes of love which are not off the shelf but have been made or found and delivered with exquisite tenderness which are result of frequent rendezvous with loved ones. There is absolutely no joy like sharing and I truly thank God to have given me such a privileged life but when my sharing, reaching out to others' needs as host and placing guests before myself or family is not understood or respected, I feel violated and my energy feels squandered.
I wish, some people understood and respected the fact that receiving is as much an art as giving!
