Unplanned getaway by the beach

As I write this post, I am feeling gloriously lazy. Blame it on my surprise weekend getaway. The trace of that sweet, incorrigible, idle inertia that is typical of such escapes is still lingering and I am absolutely loving it! 

There is this clamouring scream from within to break out from my frazzled routine and layers of florid world around me and grasp at something real. Often, the eternal nomad in me emerges very strongly and invariably creates revolt when I can't leave Bombay due to personal and professional compulsions. I feel stifled and then it is impossible to stay within the confines of my home no matter how hard pressed I am for time!  

Fortunately, last week, hubby could sense those signs well before I was on the brink of losing my usual positive disposition and get into "life really sucks" mode. He planned a lovely weekend trip to Dahanu, Gholwad, and Bordi; beautiful, sleepy coastal  towns ideal for a weekend if you love doing absolutely nothing except unwinding and walking by the beach, feel sand on your bare feet, gathering beautiful sea shells, gaze at sky on a starlit night or the last loaf of evening Sun creating magical abstracts. 

 

Sea, like rain is an addiction for me. I simply love having a quiet dialogue with the waves while entire world is fast asleep, watching myriad colours and moods of morning /evening and realize in those tranquil moments what a divine luxury doing absolutely nothing and being immersed in Nature is!

Sand with dunes, soft peaks or patterns, creating abstract of different dimensions with every passing moment is always mesmerizing. There is something pious about seemingly lifeless sand, whether it is abundant desert sand or at beach. There is something sublimely fulfilling about watching Sunrise/Sunset by the beach! Listening to waves can be spiritually intoxicating experience! In those few moments I am invariably always transfixed, misty eyed with mellow opulence, contemplating the slow calming of the season. 

It is amazing to witness how the sea never holds on to anything that serves no purpose for it. Each glorious wave that reaches the shore brings something that sea does not need. And it makes me realize what all and how many unnecessary things we hold on to really! The attachments, labels, our roles, perceived identities, beliefs that we continue to be confined to for the sake of comfort of fallacy of security, permanence, stability or sense of belonging. And in those beautiful moments of epiphany there are no compulsions of how life "should be", no conceptual scheme for life, no need for life/circumstances to be "different", no requirement for any change, or fear of losing the control over my life. 

In those few hours spent by the beach with sea changing its rhythm I also witness each moment passing by with profound sense of stillness, reverence and peace. It is hard not to sense the timeless and eternal rounds of life, our place in the mystery of so much bigger than our usual separate sense of self at such tranquil moments! 

I feel rejuvenated in every single pore of my body, mind and spirit! 

Sorry Nirbhaya, we are helpless !

As I write this article, I am shocked, deeply disturbed and outraged by the fact that one of the rapist in Nirbhaya case is out of jail thanks to a technical reason of him being a minor when the gruesome crime was committed!   

As much as I try to detach my emotions from the reason lest it gets clouded, I can't comprehend how a criminal who is capable of committing heinous crimes like rape and barbaric violence can be treated as a minor on basis of sheer technical aspect of law? I am no expert on Indian judiciary hence won't question it but I must say, it failed to do justice to Nirbhaya by letting a juvenile criminal off the hook. I shudder to think that Nirbhaya is no more and one of the culprits responsible for her death is roaming free amidst us, without having been really punished for the actual crime he committed and we have to live with that harsh reality.

Juvenile delinquency is an issue that has suddenly come to light post unfortunate Nirbhaya case. The statistics show that these crimes are on shocking surge and no more just isolated incidents in India. Looking at horrific juvenile crimes one reads about almost every passing day, we need to seriously contemplate if any amendments need to be introduced in juvenile acts.  It is dangerous to let go juvenile criminals without taking appropriate action that is considerate of impact of the crimes committed and sets an example so that others dread to commit such crimes.

I was going through a documentary made on convicts in Nirbhaya case by a journalist last year and the excerpts from the interview of one of the convicts are painfully shocking and while it might brew our blood, it is imperative to check if we are teaching our children right values. 

In Nirbhaya case, media has done remarkable work by making it a mission to bring the whole issue to light right from the day one. Social networking sites have never stopped buzzing and whole Nation is outraged by the sheer brutality of the crime that prompted everyone to speak up and be part of collective conscious. 

My inbox is full with invitations for candle light marches, signature campaigns for changing amendment in juvenile act and a few talks on the subject. Is it enough?  With the way crimes against women are growing I feel, the culture of mass protests doesn't serve much purpose except serving as mere 'feel good factor" in appeasement of our collective conscience. Any means of protest has to be used appropriately to hold potency to provoke discourse and bring the necessary change. 

Every single day, we read about inhuman acts of sexual perversion, abuse, kidnapping, rape, incest, burning, acid attacks, dowry deaths, and so many gruesome acts of oppression of women, across all categories and class, that such news sound very routine. 

Rapists don't belong to any particular city, caste or community. This is a kind of breed is product of environment, that treats women as commodity, to be used, abused and treat inhumanly without iota of guilt or shame. Such mindset gets nurtured from very formative years that deeply ingrain the message that men are superior to women. 

We don't like to admit openly but the truth of our social reality is in female infanticides being devoured by sewage from rural as well as global metro cities. Our reality is in charred bodies in dowry and tandoor deaths. Our reality is, painfully disturbing, rotting stench of female foetus and the hanged bodies of "honour killings". Of course, gender politics and the comprehension of equality and humanism needs to be addressed urgently today. But, changing reality needs changing mindsets, attitudes and behaviour.

Judiciary is not my forte but I hope Nirbhaya case compels Indian judiciary to bring necessary changes so that criminals don't get away and the organized crime networks don't take advantage of such juvenile acts and pose grave danger to society. I hope we also learn to address the major issue of juvenile rehabilitation seriously. It is sad that we lack basic education in humanity and forget that education starts from home. 

R.I.P Jyoti Singh. You certainly didn't deserve to die !!!

Stumbling upon stillness!

Being a person who thrives in urban, metropolitan chaos; it is a reward to find some time alone, just by myself, doing nothing. I crave for absolute isolation and embrace it at every possible opportunity.  I love to shut myself from outside world and am happy with my cave like world, a womb of complete peace, deep inside my cerebrum. Such interludes are always soaked with sacred moments of deep rooted piety and invariably unfold fascinating lessons about life in general. 

Our life has become so harried with zillion things that our minds are deafened with its maddening cadence! Every person is running after some insatiable chase, moving like addicts into unheard, unseen rhythm of uncontrolled chaos! 

Sometimes, I wonder if there must have been times when we human beings were mightily happy and content to just sit and be! How many moments during the day do we actually feel stillness to focus on the moment we are living; the present and deeply enjoy it? Exploring the alchemy of stillness and its beautiful intricacy in otherwise chaotic and often claustrophobic spaces is an art not many of us have mastered.

The reason I am ruminating about “Stillness” today is an interesting experience I recently had during our holidays to Coorg, Karnataka.  

I was taking walk near the place we were staying at; a golf course surrounded by forest and mountains and barely any soul around. While exploring the small path leading to the unknown I stumbled upon a small boy sitting quietly on the steps. It looked as if he was sitting there since ages! His solemn face had so much calm! Despite the dirty clothes, he came across as portrait of purity and radiance. I could not help asking him what he was doing. Surprised by my question he replied with a smile, “Main kuch nahi karta hoon. Sirf hoon”. (“I am not doing anything. I am just being.) His simple, innocent answer bowled me over and kept me thinking about how the boy was able to enjoy the stillness at that young age! He looked part of the whole scene, a small, beautiful piece of a perfect picture, absolutely at peace, just happy to BE!

Some occurrences are understood in essence but very difficult to describe in words. When we refer to stillness, we think about cutting ourselves from the world, away from all the chaos. But discovering contours of stillness doesn’t necessarily entail a long journey to the woods. It can be encountered all around us and can be inhabited with complete surrender to the moment, like that little boy.

Far too often we miss out open, playful little moments to this long, unending scroll of floating world; a lyrical stream of tenderness running through life right amidst the chaos and cacophony. There are several moments that offer “vismaya”, that elevating sense of wonder our scriptures talk about. All we need to do is just embrace these simple, poignant moments and realize that stillness is not about external aesthetics but a complete surrender to poignant journey within and discovering our own creative, spiritual pulse and in those magical moments finding the universe resonating tranquil peace. It is in such moments that we discover nucleus of intellect, creativity and even spirituality and find ourself anew in this  solemn journey!  

“Be still.

Stillness reveals the secrets of eternity” 

 - Lao Tzu

A long pause for finding my song

It is has been really long since I picked up my camera and went for shoot or typed out all the posts that I keep writing in my head every single day. Yeah, it is very unlike me. 

I have been experiencing a strange phase off lately! There are times when something within you compels you to be silent and stay still. Times when you naturally remain withdrawn and just witness the world around you and listen! I believe, when our heart leads us somewhere, it is always for a reason and when the inner core revolts for serious attention, we need to follow and find out the reason behind it.   

There is range of emotions I have experienced in last few months; from feeling irresolute, conflicted, discordant, uneasy, unmoved, uninspired and sometimes completely numbed, overwhelmed with the challenges life continues to pose incessantly. 

If you are a regular reader of this blog you would know my mother in law is fighting cancer. After two surgeries and a heart attack last year, there are signs of cancer being relapsed and some serious psychiatric issues are getting very complex to cope up with. Being the primary care taker of such patients is devastatingly difficult and it can devour your physical, mental and emotional stamina and at some point you wish to run away from it all because beyond a point, it becomes far too much to deal with. The realization of helplessness slowly sinks in and you learn that there is absolutely nothing more left in you to offer. 

Cancer not only kills its victims, it brings a paradigm shift within families, its equations and tests its strength each passing day. The experience breaks you piece by piece and your heart compels you to go on "silent mode". Usually this change brings us closer to who we really are, allowing us to discover our true self and to be more authentic. In the process, we heal not by fixing the broken but by rediscovering ourselves in those fragments and let the pain reveal some frightening mysteries of life and help us learn to accept the change we must surrender to, unconditionally.

 

Yeah, it is difficult to have faith in God sometimes in such situations but he keeps sending signals. Like yesterday, I received a beautiful mail from a very dear friend and he writes, "You are hurting. Start writing! Get out of house with that camera. Claim yourself back. You need to find your song back girl!" He shared the following story.

"Finding your song"

There is a beautiful tradition within the Ubuntu African tribe. When a woman knows she is pregnant, she goes into the jungle with other women and together they pray and meditate until they get the “song” of the child. Once they get it, it is a custom to teach the song to the rest of the tribe. When the child is born, the tribe comes together and sings the song over the child. It becomes a beautiful part of their identity.

The song continues to be sung over them as they grow. When they fall ill or get injured, disturbed or are not in their spirits they get picked up and someone sings their song back to them. It is about reminding them who they are and singing them back into their true identity. 

Isn't it lovely to have someone in your life who knows your song very well, cares to remind you and loves you truly to sing it back to you when you need to listen to it? I have journeyed through seasons when I have needed my ‘song’ sung back to me. 

I hope to get back my tune at the earliest. 

The business of God men and God women

Recently a facebook friend of mine posted a picture of kitty party; ladies dressed in all red, like "Radhema" (the controversial self proclaimed God woman, who has been in news recently) with her signature golden trishul in hand. The social networking sites are flooded with memes on Radhema off lately. It took me a while to comprehend the fact that popularity of Radhema had reached this new height. This realization actually hit me harder when I overheard a mother cajoling her daughter to participate in fancy dress competition as Radhema! 

Religion sells like hot cakes and there are enough buyers lapping it up with perennial insatiety world over. Have you ever tried watching religious channels on television? I would highly recommend watching one and you would be amazed to find instant fix for just under anything and everything under the Sun! God men/ God women sell religion/spirituality, like a brand, packed aptly as per your needs and degree of desperation to be consumed and lo you have instant atonement for all your sins! Don't worry it is available for almost every religion known to human kind. 

Before I meander into realm of God men/God women, a fallacious world of misplaced perceptions and tapering insights and its bravado, let me remind my readers, religion/spirituality is not my domain to discuss but self proclaimed God men/ God women baffle me and I simply despise this roaring business of "spirituality".  

When rationale ends, business of God men/God women takes over working in a labyrinthine network in an optimal spread across various strata of the society! Think of any problem that is difficult to find solution to and there are always God men/God women to resort to across all categories/classes, subservient to your needs giving carefully crafted dosage. And soon, the God men/God women become the most sought-after commodity!  

A few from this breed graduate and become chic "spiritual advisers" courtesy presence of high profile people from politics, business houses and Bollywood who throng their Ashram with desperation of vulnerable minds, eager to be ecstatic hearts, churning out emotions and the God men/ God women gladly oblige them touting, adding immense value to their own brand of "spiritualism". From illiterate people from lower strata of society, dejected middle class to higher echelon of society, following God men /God women offers hope to all and sundry providing great escape from harsh realities of life. We need an anchor, icon or prophet to survive blatant despair caused by intellectual/emotional/spiritual bankruptcy. 

The business of God men/God women is a huge small-scale industry, where deceit rules the roost and sometimes helps power and money to dress up crime as righteous! Every other day one hears about new "religious guru" through the convoluted jingoism of faith. Every other day one reads about many controversies accusing God men /God women of sexual abuse, fraud to gross swindling and despite their operations embroiled in controversy the adulation from their inane followers continues! I fail to comprehend the logic behind the hold the God men/ God women have on their cult. My mind is absolutely numbed by such crazy following. Or is it that I don't get it because I am the most dissolute sinner of all time?  L

Politics of selective activism

*Today’s article is little difficult to write owing to the complexity and different facets of the issue involved. While I write this, I am very much aware of the fact that I neither have any background in law nor am I an expert in judiciary. Being a proud citizen of this great democracy, this article is onerous responsibility to express anguish and concern that is deeply resonated in so many people around me.

Past couple of days, India has been embroiled with political row over Yakub Memon, the only convict to be hanged in 1993 Mumbai bomb blast case. The Congress Party leader Shashi Tharoor sparked controversy by criticizing the death penalty as "a pointless and retributive practice" and asking "should the state be reducing itself to the level of murderers and terrorists by taking human life?" Two hours after the 1993 Mumbai bomb blasts convict was declared dead on Thursday morning, Mr.Tharoor tweeted that "cold blooded execution had never prevented a terror attack anywhere." The Times of India. The Indian Express and many other media cohorts have joined the bandwagon making a terrorist appear like a hero by giving misleading headlines and extensive coverage. Honestly, I am appalled. I feel numb! 

In 1993, 257 innocent people lost their lives to ghastly terror attacks in Mumbai, a planned execution of terror act against a sovereign country. 

Ignoring media's appetite for sensation even in grief stricken times seems veritable triumph. The social networking sites come across as embodiment of the common rage that is deeply rooted in our minds. When shocking events of this magnitude are packed in such short time, it is too much to comprehend! 

Far too often, we, as nation are taken by never ending storms that reflect political, pseudo cultural and religious, chauvinistic, double faced, hypocritical India. It has become fashionable to criticize/challenge the government's stand particularly high profile cases, so what if it disrupts functioning of governance and invite unnecessary chaos? 

Frankly, I am little jittery over anyone who claims to be "voice of nation/people"! Where does one draw line between activism by media and trial by media? Media's role is to serve as catalyst in bringing out the facts without making any attempt to influence them. But in some high profile cases like Yakub Memon's, the media coverage comes across as biased, inadequate, sensational, inaccurate, unfair, misleading, irresponsible and damaging to public interest. I am not saying all the stories covered in media are in that light but in times when media houses are becoming power houses and considering the filthy money involved in it and its requirement for profit just like any other business model for survival makes one question its professional integrity. Media's role is to assist in evaluating the significance of the events covered and NOT pronouncing judgements and indulging in trail for sake of attracting eyeballs. 

The media sometimes interferes by being intensely involved in high profile cases thus creating sensation, provoking atmosphere of public hysteria thereby in the process diluting the very seriousness of actual issue/crime.

For any democracy, it is very important to have more voices out in open to question with erudite judgement as to what is wrong with its system and participate to create necessary change and awareness. We, as nation are cacophony of many a roars. Suddenly, there is a new breed I see emerging; the arm chair philosophers whose sole purpose is to create their own "brands" by saying things that lack proper research and create sensation showing complete disregard for judiciary and constitution! I have realized this is becoming the new dope for many people these days. 

The impudence and superficiality of Indian media seems to have taken toll on independent, resourceful and honest journalism. The saddest part is that it is losing its credibility in its chase for "being first to present the news". The Indian media is sadly turning into instant views churning machines without taking pain of doing relevant homework. Watch any news channel and it seems courts have shifted to media with carefully crafted rhetoric and curators of the speeches playing role of prosecutor, jury and judge; pronouncing judgements on 24/7 breaking news, setting a very dangerous precedent. 

The real amusement in this whole charade is the notion of "we are cleaning up the system by purging it of rot," which in reality turns the media into lynch mob inciting anger and instigating people. Oh and nothing can work as effectively as virtuous anger for TRP! And there is always a stiff competition to appear "socially responsible". Facebook, twitter, re-tweets, +1, signature campaigns and candle lit march/walks....oh, there are multiple options these days to find catharsis for our collective conscience. There is a deeply disturbing trend of cult of hatred becoming a global epidemic endorsed by religious extremists. 

What kind of people, don't flinch before committing heinous, barbaric sins of taking innocent lives? What kind of religion endorses killing in name of its God and honours the culprits as martyrs/heroes? I fail to understand logic behind any religion that demands people from other religions to be killed! It is difficult to fathom politics of hatred that makes inhuman acts of violence not a regrettable necessity but the whole point and make people who subscribe to their ideologies, barbaric savages. With high stakes invested in terrorism, it has become a new currency to establish religious, political and economic power games for global domination.

Sadly, what we often fail to realize is that, headlines do not always translate into meaningful action that addresses the root cause of the issue. Instead, we fall in to trap of tail chasing scenario of hype and brouhaha the end result of which is nothing except outrage and helplessness.

"There is no flag large enough to cover shame of killing innocent people." Howard Zinn. 

The mystic of Bombay rains

As I write this, sipping coffee, on a cloudy evening that is fast giving way to the night, thick clouds have concealed the Sun, making warm summer rays a fading memory. 

When it rains, it pours in Bombay! I look forward to arrival of rains like a child for the sheer goodies it brings! Magical fragrance of wet earth, swaying of trees, the cold breeze, that first ethereal touch of a rain drop on your bare skin; waking you from the stupor and rejuvenating every single cell from your body is amazing! Sipping a cup of hot coffee is an absolute must! I sit and watch the rain from my window, gazing at dark, hazy horizon while the gusty wind flirts with the wind chimes. The soothing impact of rendition of that symphony is mind blowing! 

To understand the monsoon, you have to study a rain drop bursting from the cloud and settling on a flower/leaf/window sill or any other surface. I remember clicking the above picture. The beauty of the moment grew on me! Witnessing a drop that has just landed on the flower petal from the cloud has solemn grace that is beyond words! That drop, during its ephemeral relationship of a brief fraction of second with the petal, quivering with the wind and just on verge of flowing from one elegant moment into another! To me, that tiny droplet, is a complete portrait of the entire monsoon! 

The beauty and grace of a single drop tugs your core, lulls you to the dreamy land! Its elegant transition from one moment to another with delicate energy is simply magical! If you care to notice that is! 

I am tempted to reach out to my camera wondering what new images I will capture. I take a glance at the images on my desktop screen wondering if I did justice to the rain. Or to any subjects captured for that matter! 

Like rains; emotions flood, heavy and intense, all the worries disappear, neurosis subsides and there is deep cleansing bringing calm, with a soothing, nourishing effect. There is mystic beauty in surrendering completely to that poignant experience. There is nothing left to achieve. Life is just the way it should be.

Romance is in the air

Bombay rains are incomplete without a "bhutta" roasted on the charcoal

Silhouettes in the rain creating dreamy look 

A beautiful abstract created by rain on the road 

The blurred lines of the structure of Sea link, Worli 

Drenched in rain, even the most mundane things get a new look ! 

Clearing cobbled webs of my wobbly heart

Phew! A lot has happened in last two weeks! No, I am not referring to Maggie noodles being taken off the shelves and the entire nation's frenzy in reacting to its ban as if we are in danger of facing grave starvation! I have been too withdrawn to be interested in all the political tamasha and the media ruckus around all the exposes making it to the breaking news. And no, I am not even referring to the volatile stock market that has made the masses nervous due to delayed monsoon that has finally arrived officially giving great respite to the farmers and people in general.

I have been cocooned in my own little shell. That rarely happens with someone like me who is always high on life! Sometimes, it is difficult to love life and past few days have been spent clearing cobbled webs of my wobbly heart and utterly complicated mind. Please forgive my incoherent words in earnest expressions today. 

I have stayed withdrawn witnessing everything around without getting involved emotionally. And in this process, I have missed posting articles for last two weeks, unintentionally. Sometimes, it helps to take a break from the usual things. It may not change things but it certainly helps get a better perspective on life in general.

As I write this article while having my evening cup of green tea, mild gentle breeze has changed its guard turning into gusts of wind. Within minutes, it has just started drizzling! The wind chimes from the window play jugalbandi with various melodies that rain keeps changing. There is something to the rain that is beyond words! 

The trees all around, have shed all the soot and dust, sporting a fresh, radiant look. In distance, branches sway fervently with new energy. The drizzle has morphed into  thunderous downpour, vigorously reaching out every inch of ground, cleaning everything it touches. I feel raindrops on my bare skin driving away all the worries in some magical cathartic ways. I feel deep calm. I realize, it is time for new beginnings. 

R.I.P Aruna Shanbaugh! Hope you finally find peace

Last week, one of the most discussed names in media over four decades, Aruna Shanbaug; a nurse from Mumbai's K.E.M hospital, passed away after suffering for forty two years of unending pain. 

Most of us are familiar with her name that jumped in every time topic of euthanasia was brought up in media.  A victim of rape and inhuman violence, Aruna Shanbaug suffered painfully silent helplessness for forty two years, in vegetative state, condemned to hell on hospital bed, the same hospital she was working with before she was subjected to gruesome attack!

 Aruna's culprit, who attacked and raped her, was convicted and served two concurrent seven-year sentences for assault and robbery, but not for sodomy! All these years in our collective conscience Aruna has been face of euthanasia and we had almost forgotten the brutality she was subjected to, as if it was just incidental crime without much significance. In today's times it is difficult to comprehend such lapse, isn't it? 

 Aruna Shanbaug's case raises many disturbing questions.

 A victim of horrific violence who ends up in vegetative state for life while the person involved in the crime walks away after few years of punishment. Why? Because, he was never charged for sodomy! 

 Much beyond legal and moral dilemma, there is a question one can't stop asking, why can't we allow euthanasia that is case sensitive instead of banning it or letting it remain an ambiguous concept and letting the patients suffer for ages? 

 It is said that Aruna had nine siblings but not a single family member came forward to take responsibility as it was financially impossible for any of them to take care of her in such condition. Where is the state accountability and concern for victims like Aruna? Why in a country like ours where billions of rupees are spent mindlessly on religious activities, not a single community, group or religious institution came forward to help Aruna?

 The nurses at K.E.M hospital have done commending job by taking great care of Aruna for more than four decades and we all know what an arduous task it might have been for them! But, was it really all Aruna needed? Was she even aware of what happened to her post her traumatic confinement to the hospital bed?   

While Aruna Shanbaug was alive, she was the reason for many a debates that helped bring law on passive euthanasia. Now she is gone, we will still continue to argue and debate euthanasia and our collective conscience will be silenced by tokenism. 

Aruna's life is lost because she was subjected to inhuman crime and suffered for decades.

In the hospital bed she laid almost dead, alone because her immediate family could not afford to look after her.

 The staff of K.E.M that took care of her did exemplary work. Was it enough? Could there have been other better options for treatment and care?

The country where she was born had insufficient law to guard and protect her and punish the guilty for all the crimes committed.

This is Aruna Shanbaugh's real tragedy beyond the horrendous crime she was subjected to.

We might write her obituaries in flowery language but the fact is, Aruna is no more and her culprit is roaming free without having been punished for the actual crimes he committed. And we have to live with that harsh reality but it doesn't bother us really, does it? 

 R.I.P Aruna Shanbaugh!  Hope you finally find peace. God bless!