It was one of the most glamorous launch party, corporate style; the first party I was attending after shifting our base to Bombay. Surrounded by the most distinguished names from media, art, Bollywood, and corporate world, I was lost in reverie of all the glitz and glamour, struggling to let what was happening around sink in!
As my hubby was busy with the launch, I was left to myself and was enjoying interesting conversations with different people. During one of the conversations, I was introduced to an art critic and while I turned to shake hands with him, out of the blue, a well known young film director collided with me! Before I could even recover from the shock he gave me a quick hug and said, "I am so sorry honey!!! Did I hurt you sweetipie?" and without waiting for my reply he went in the direction of the friends waiting for him nearby. I felt violated and was deeply annoyed! The ripple of upheaval it created gave me goose bumps and it echoed all the way till I reached home after the party and shared the experience with hubby.
Last week, at the food court of a mall, while I was waiting for hubby, a complete stranger, barely age of my son asked me, "Honey, would you mind if I take one of these chairs?" I was mad and asked him curtly, "excuse me, what did you just call me?" Sensing the obvious anger on my face he grinned and said, "Don't mind. Its an old habit baby!!!"
It happens all the time with women when certain other terms of endearment are hurled, spoken, or even whispered in their direction at so many occasions whether it is work meetings, social occasions or fleeting conversations with perfect strangers! What's wrong with world? I really get upset when people address me with terms like, "honey, sweetheart, baby, pumpkin (!), darling" etc. It really bothers me especially when such words are used by people whom I don't know or have no close relationship with.
Why people are so incredibly presumptuous to address women by derogatory, patronizing terms of endearment? Why people behave in over friendly manner with other people? I find it utterly rude, disrespectful and distasteful. Even when people who use terms like "honey, darling, sweetheart, babes, sweetie pie" innocently, out of habit and warmth and not really mean to be offensive, vulgar, distasteful and demeaning, it is sometimes difficult to find that invisible line of creepiness that starts to be transgressed condescending much.
Most of the times such occurrences are dismissed as they are too trivial to be upset and better left ignored lest one gets affected by the slippery single term! I wonder if no one ever teaches importance of treating everyone with respect! I hate to be sweet talked. It is not acceptable to use terms of endearment with a stranger or use dismissive or demeaning language with anyone, of any age and I think, its time for women to make it loud and clear.
So the next time, someone uses any demeaning term, I am going to say, I am NOT your darling/ sweetheart/ pumpkin/ sweetie pie/honey you jerk!!!
