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2014 has been a great year! Thanks for being part of it!



It is that time of the year when the world goes absolutely bonkers about celebrating the New Year! Due to My mother in law's health, we have already declined a few invitations for the New Year party disappointing some friends and extended family.


This year's New Year celebration is going to be at home, subdued, sans any fanfare. My aim is to find a few hours to unwind, hang loose, not worry about anything and just relax with family and a select few close buddies. 

It is always fun having a small group that enjoys mad conversations ranging from ragging each other to serious in your face conversations on various topics and of course the HUGE doses of laughter triggered by nothing really concrete that can be recalled yet it happens like a magic act from the hat of tricks, with our funny bones on the over drive! 

Oh and how I love watching complete foodies eating my special dishes! Their indulgence is never less than a devotional act! Many fervent proclamations about “light bite” transform into gluttony and it is beyond words to see pleasures of renunciation and nirvana all in circle of plate!!! 

The year of 2014 has been fabulous despite the upheavals in my personal life! This is yet another year that has passed in a jiffy. The year brought in loads to be thankful about and as we usher in the New Year, there are many things to look forward to. 

Thank you very much for being part of this wonderful journey. Wishing you and family a happy New Year! May you find all the happiness in coming year and may your dreams come true! 

See you next week. Rock the party!!



Where has our conscience disappeared?


"Be safe", I say nervously to my son, who is leaving for his college, holding him bit longer than usual in embrace. It is a matter of few hours when he would be home but I am bit restless. That anxiety is uncalled for but it happens every time I learn about tragic events of terrorist attacks in any part of the world. 


I struggle really hard to stay away from writing about events that involve violence and human rights violation because such incidents are extremely painful to cope with, emotionally draining and their impact is too deep to shrug off and carry on with life as if nothing has changed just because I am not affected by it! There is a deeply disturbing trend of cult of hatred becoming a global epidemic endorsed by religious extremists. 

What kind of people, don't flinch before committing heinous, barbaric sins of taking innocent lives? What kind of religion endorses killing in name of its God and honours the culprits as martyrs/heroes? I fail to understand logic behind any religion that demands people from other religions to be killed! It is difficult to fathom politics of hatred that makes inhuman acts of violence not a regrettable necessity but the whole point and make people who subscribe to their ideologies, barbaric savages. With high stakes invested in terrorism, it has become a new currency to establish religious, political and economic power games for global domination. 

The photograph of the dead child's face in the coffin that many photographers documented in recent Peshawar terrorist attack symbolizing the horror of butchered innocent lives of 132 children, is still on my mind giving me sleepless nights!


The photographs, media covering of the Peshawar attacks would remain just an archival data for those who dispense justice. The candle marches, protests, signature campaigns, angry intellectual debates, political blame games have already started waning as other headlines have taken over the eye balls. The calls for world to unite strongly and decimate those "inhuman species" out of our life" are getting feeble. We are done with discussions at the cocktail parties of how Peshawar attacks are "a rude awakening to the perils of religious fanaticism". We would soon forget about this gruesome tragedy, the pain will dilute or remain just a sad memory till such tragedies occur in our own backyard. 

Yeah, we still remain savage as a race bereft of any conscience and this realization is making it difficult to have faith in humanity any more.  


"There is no flag large enough to cover shame of killing innocent people." Howard Zinn. 



Will Indian media learn investigative reporting Mr.Arnab Goswami? The Nation needs to know!

There is a lot to talk about as so many controversies kept buzzing on print and digital space when I was away from this blog past few weeks. But one controversy that boggled me and stood out amidst all the sensation in media was the recent video of two sisters from Rohtak, thrashing up two men for alleged sexual assault while travelling in a bus! Needles to say, it went viral within seconds and what followed was nothing new but yet another proof that Indian media has lost the plot completely. 

Soon after the above mentioned video went viral on social media and the news channels jumped the conclusions declaring the sisters as "brave hearts", the Haryana government announced to honour the two sisters on the occasion of Republic day. And like it always happens, the incident triggered spontaneous ire from women rights activists, with National Commission for Women chairperson Lalitha Kumarmangalam asking the authorities to take appropriate action against the accused. Nothing wrong with all this, if the said video narrates truth and the story has been checked for authenticity before broadcast. The day after this sad incident, there were twists in the tale where a few video clippings and statements of the eye witnesses putting a big question mark on credibility of the "victims".  

The impudence and superficiality of Indian media seems to have taken toll on independent, resourceful and honest journalism. The saddest part is that it is losing its credibility in its chase for "being first to present the news". The Indian media is sadly turning into instant views churning machines without taking pain of doing relevant homework. Watch any news channel and it seems courts have shifted to media with carefully crafted rhetoric and curators of the speeches by Mr. Arnab Goswami and his clan playing role of prosecutor, jury and judge; pronouncing judgments on 24/7 breaking news, setting a very dangerous precedent. The real amusement in this whole charade is the notion of "we are cleaning up the system by purging it of rot," which in reality turns the media into lynch mob inciting anger and instigating people. Oh and nothing can work as effectively as virtuous anger for TRP! And there is always a stiff competition to appear "socially responsible". Facebook, twitter, re-tweets, +1, signature campaigns and candle lit march/walks....oh, there are multiple options these days to find catharsis for our collective conscience. 

Outrage and zero tolerance for any crime are the first steps towards creating awareness about serious issues that we, as Nation are facing. The way to address them is by participating in constructive discussions and working towards finding real solutions. In cases like Rohtak sisters, the media coverage came across as biased, inadequate, sensational, inaccurate, unfair, misleading, irresponsible and damaging. The approach of the coverage reminded me of blood thirsty hounds! Can we stop losing our balance and learn to be careful about not punishing the innocents please?


We, as Nation can't allow Mr. Arnab Goswami and his fraternity to use weapon of trial by media and flash it as medals of distinction! My concern over this growing frenzy is that we could end up sabotaging power of media which is crucial for any healthy democracy. I hope Mr. Arnab Goswami takes a pause from his theatrics of strutting and screaming and for a change listens to what he has been saying/doing all this while. Will Indian media learn investigative reporting Mr.Arnab Goswami? The Nation needs to know! 

Looking for light at end of the tunnel

It has been a while since I had time to post my weekly articles here. I have never missed a single post in all these years since this blog was started and believe me, I feel sad that other priorities of life have taken over and left me with no choice. Sometimes, extraordinary circumstances compel us to shuffle our priorities and it is better that we don't mess with what life demands.  

It is interesting how often I keep writing articles in my mind from the most unthinkable places or in midst of bizarre situations. This post comes to you straight from the hospital where most of our last three months have been spent due to my mother in law's cancer. 

This is yet another stressful evening. I take aimless walks in the corridors outside the ICU, look at the unusually overcast, grey sky from a distant window with my sullen eyes. My mother in law is out of yet another surgery and taken to ICU. She suffered a mild heart attack post surgery. I wonder how much suffering life still has in store for her!

Last evening, as I sat beside her; listening to her yet another session of never ending tales, I witnessed scroll of a long life of seven and a half decades! Life full of tales of brave triumphs, struggles, guilt, bitter admissions, resentments for unfulfilled dreams and above all, a life that despite all the oddities, struggling to hold on to hope which seems to be losing by each day. Her fragile body and mind suffering with psychiatric problems fight to stay agile and relevant in the last lag of life. Have you ever observed, life has completely different meaning when one faces death in its eye? 

Past few months have also changed the dynamics within the family. When tragedy strikes, that happens very often. Some bonds strengthen further and some collapse opening one's eyes to shocking truths about relationships. In last three months, we have been subjected to ruthless scrutiny, insensitive, intrusive remarks by some people leaving us saddened in this tough time when we need moral support from everyone who truly care for us.

Inflicting pain seems to be uniquely human trait because in Nature, creatures kill one another for the sake of food, dominance or territory. Why do we do it? Why do we stand by and watch others passively while they suffer and add to their pain and attain joy out of it?

It has been months since me and my family stopped doing anything that we usually do on a normal, routine day. Ah, the very thought of being able to spare some time for Sunday brunch/movie/art exhibition/spa, relaxing at home, calling friends over or visiting them or just all of us spending a languid Sunday doing absolutely nothing in particular and still having fun  etc seems a very distant possibility! 

Sometimes, weight of love and duty is too much to bear! I am already on the brink, waiting for some respite, looking for some light at end of the tunnel.

We never know what the next moment holds for us


The hospital offers a myriad lange where boundaries and identities whittle down to weight of suffering one carries along. Walking through the corridors of huge hospital can be an eye opener, especially if one is visiting cancer or other life threatening disease wards. 

I am waiting outside a psychiatrist's clinic who is seeing my mother in law, suffering with depression and mild dementia. The doctor is suspecting advance bipolar disorder which he feels is triggered by her surgery for cancer.  

My mother in law who has always been a very strong lady looks fragile and vulnerable, struggling to cope up with the physical and serious psychological issues that seem to be growing by each day. I look around and my heart breaks looking at worried, fearful, lost and tense faces evidently fighting their own conflicts. It is impossible to read my book as I can't help wondering what battles these people must be encountering in their respective life. 

We all want to be happy, loved, be healthy and feel cared for. Those who are lost want to be found; the lonely ones want to be comforted with tender care and love, those who have lost the plot again and again want to get it all right and wish for one more chance even when in their heart they know they stand none. The way each one of us copes with suffering is interestingly varied and unique. As life rushes us on with hope for best and lands us our own share of worst, we all struggle for meaning and are afflicted with self doubt. 

Sometimes, life just sneaks up on us and it does not matter how great our social support, how big our bank balance, how insured our life might appear to be or how spiritually awake we might be – we all still fall prey to our fears, feeling naked, threadbare by the realization of ultimate truth that nothing can be taken for granted and one doesn't know what the next moment really holds for us! Within fraction of a second, all the beautiful, blessings that life bestows on us unasked, can be taken back without any prior notice!  

While I am lost in typing my thoughts, a toddler from across the hall, suffering with Leukemia takes hesitant, fragile steps walks to me trying to reach my face with his tiny fingers. Scared to lift him in my embrace lest I hurt him, I look in his lovely eyes and faint smile that reflects his struggle to overcome his pain. He tries to engage me in conversation that is difficult to comprehend and yet there is something sublime going on between the two of us for few moments! 

And in those profound moments of divinity in most unexpected circumstances, I realize, life has its rhythm and we have ours, both beautifully designed to coexist in harmony so that when we do what needs to be done from our end and just let life be, we garner acceptance and serenity. Abiding by and accepting what is beyond our control, we can transform the moment and become awakened to the beauty that surrounds us and also that lies within. 

Sometimes, life is a bitch!

Oh my! The festival of Diwali appears to have come and gone in a jiffy! Once in a while I still hear an occasional crackle of a stray rocket or bomb. There are remnants of celebrations at the entrance of some homes; dried flower garlands hangings, dark coloured residues of disheveled rangolis, tiny pools of melted wax and ash discharged from colourful, designer diyas. The mood of festivity is slowly receding and I find myself wondering where last month has just flown by? 

For first time in life, Diwali turned out to be bleak for me and my family due to a tragedy. In a completely shocking turn, life caught us off-guard. My Mother in law was detected with colon cancer few weeks back and since, hell broke loose. She was operated upon successfully and is currently recuperating under our watchful eyes and intensive care but this tragic event and the trauma that has followed has shaken us to the core.

As such, dealing with cancer is a huge challenge and older the patient, more difficult it is to deal with them. More than the physical pain it is the psychological pain that causes suffering both to the patient and the immediate family which is most difficult challenge to cope up with. It is interesting how when such tragedies strike, we get to see the real strength of character of family. Each day, it is a struggle to get life back to as normal as possible. I know, it is a long journey and needs extraordinary strength, patience and understanding. 

I just hope and pray God to give us enough strength to get over this tragedy and move on without carrying any bitterness. 

The three most important lessons I have learnt in last four weeks are;

1) No matter what all and how much you might have genuinely helped others in life, and even if it is done out of goodness, without expecting anything in return, some of them WILL fail to show even basic courtesy without iota of guilt or shame, when you are dealing with difficult times and need moral support.

2) We are not supposed to always know the why behind the wisdom.

3)  Pain invites us to grow. 


"Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.

~Eckhart Tolle

Will Indian media start covering real heroes like Kailash Satyarthi?

As I write this article, I am deeply embarrassed. My head hangs in shame to learn about the news that should in fact make me feel proud. I know absolutely nothing about Mr.Kailash Satyavarti, an Indian unsung hero who won the Nobel Prize for peace recently. The pity is, I checked with many people but none of them have any clue about Mr. Kailash Satyavarti and his Bachpan Bachao Andolan

As an Indian, it hurts to accept the fact that I need a Nobel committee to introduce me to someone doing commendable work in my own country! There is huge dent on my ego to admit that I had not heard of him till the news broke about him being conferred upon the Nobel peace prize for 2014. This means I am not perhaps as well read and aware citizen as I take myself to be. It is also a reflection of us as society and the mainstream media, that fails to cover meaningful news that matter, its due coverage. 


A Bollywood celebrity getting a boob job done, a page three "socialite" or a scamster politician involved with corruption of billions catch more eyeballs ensuring readership/viewership and offers staple diet of insatiable titillation of sensation. Nobody is interested to read/write about crusaders against the real evils,the age old, never ending issues like child labour. Children as young as three work everywhere and have become so much part of our everyday existence that we no more find anything wrong with it or are moved by this evil. Try observing keenly on that long commute from home to office everyday and you would be shocked to notice how our traffic signals, road side shops, so many industries that we regularly depend on for our requirements thrive because of young children who work in inhuman condition for sake of their survival.

Amidst incessant buzz of Bollywood gossip, the ubiquity of sting operations, scams and ravenous paparazzi coverage of real stories of heroes like Kailash Satyarthi if at all coverd, stands awkwardly on some strange corner of inside page of the newspaper.   Indian media is enslaved to its obsession with Bollywood and self created heroes and incessantly keep embroiling the nation with trivia while someone who has been in public life for more than four decades, sustaining the relentless struggle for the cause close to his heart even at the risk to his own life, his unique work and commendable feat of saving 80,000 children from child labour goes almost unnoticed! 

It is time media woke up to the fact that there are many unsung heroes, whose work goes unnoticed because it completely lacks the sheen of sensation! 

Congratulations Mr. Kailash Satvarthi ! My salute to you and your noble work! 
                                      

Why I am kicked about the "swachh Bharat campaign"

I listened to the speech of the Indian Prime Minister, Mr. Narendra Modi on Gandhi jayanti, talking about his latest initiative "Swachh Bharat abhiyan". Being an obsessive, compulsive cleanliness junkie, I am absolutely thrilled to see someone of his stature finally talking up this serious matter and making an attempt to do something about it. 

I am not affiliated with any political party whatsoever nor am I impressed by Bollywood jamboree joining the bandwagon and cashing in photo opportunities and suddenly becoming concerned about this issue. Complete disregard for cleanliness in India has always been a matter of grave concern.  



Let's admit the blatant fact that we Indians lack basic civic /hygiene sense!  Whether it is on roads, bus stops, ticket queues or any public place for that matter, people have absolutely no respect for public property. There is no point in getting infuriated or defensive about this. The general lack of cleanliness and hygiene hits the eye wherever one goes in India — hotels, hospitals, malls, households, work places, railway trains, air planes and yes, even religious places! 


Spitting and littering appears to be so deeply ingrained in the behaviour of Indians that when one draws attention to it, it is often frowned upon. Filth no more affects us as we have accepted it as part of our everyday life! 

I remember an incident that is reflective of typical Indian mindset when it comes to cleanliness. Two years back, I had a guest from U.S.A, an Indian visiting me for few days. While taking him out for shopping he opened a mint case, popped a few in his mouth, offered me some and casually threw wrapper along with the Coke can out of the car window! Much to my shock and horror, there was no iota of guilt or shame on his face when I protested his action as he callously replied "when you go to India, do as Indians do. India is BIG garbage anyway! How does it matter?" The person came from extremely educated and affluent class. When I asked him if he would behave the same way back in U.S.A, he ignored my question completely!  


I am known for being an absolute compulsive cleanliness freak. And whenever I come across such uncivilized behaviour, my blood starts brewing! (Unfortunately, that happens quite frequently during the day.) *:) happy 


There have been many instances when I have seen rich, educated folks in their expensive, luxury cars spitting and littering the roads. Try stopping them and I bet you would be greeted with their middle finger salutations or shameless verbal abuse! 


There is a lack of enforcement which in turn is fed by a lack of social pressure which in turn is fed by a lack of attitude to do things on one's own.  In my observation and experience, in India, children are rarely taught to clean up after themselves: not the messed up floors, not the dirty dishes, not the outside streets. Since we don't clean it up ourselves, and tend to expect someone else to do it (whether the municipality for the streets and garbage, the domestic help for the dishes, floors etc), our mindset is, cleaning is someone else's job. That is definitely a huge contributor.

Lack of law enforcement is another contributor.  If the police or the respective civic bodies decide to strictly enforce the laws/ initiatives against littering, people will have to comply. We are stuck in a chicken and egg type of spiral. There is no civic sense because there is no enforcement and there is no enforcement because people in charge of it don't see value in civic sense! Lets face it. Indians are the most indisciplined and arrogant on roads, public places and don't even flinch while  spitting, dumping or vandalizing public/common property, including historical monuments.

If there is a ranking of countries in respect of observance of standards of sanitation and hygiene, one can be sure that India would figure close to the bottom. Whenever there are problems with garbage, or spread of disease, we quickly blame some politician or civic body albeit, they are to be blamed but, why don't we as a society take some steps to make these civic bodies or politicians work? 

It is time to own up to our civic responsibilities. It is time to own up to our country. Let us not see "Swachh Bharat abhiyaan" only in political light.  We owe it to our Nation, methinks. 

  

When life jolts your plan

I am emotionally bit wobbly as I write this article today. Before me, are two travel bags packed a week in advance with great enthusiasm and anticipation for the five days vacation that was going to start from tomorrow. This is the third time our holidays got cancelled due to some reason or other and I find it so frustrating!

Since last week, I have been busy whizzing around like a dervish, trying to accomplish more work than my usual set goals in everyday routine. The reason being, I was to go to Pondycherry for few days with hubby, for whom getting even a day off from work is extremely difficult. People, who know me closely, know how badly I have always wished to visit that place since long but somehow it just never materialized! There is some strange pull, something undefinable that is calling me to that place!

I was brimming with joy, planning our trip, doing the research on places to visit, happy with hubby for finally giving me some time alone, looking forward to catching up with friends at Chennai, making my list of things to shop for, trying to accommodate as many cultural events as we could possibly fit in the short span. And just when everything was set, we heard news of political unrest and incidents of violence in Tamilnadu.  

Our tickets and hotel bookings have been cancelled. I need great courage to unpack those bags without letting tears roll down my cheeks. I know, many things in life don't go as planned. Not everything works out as we hope. There are many reasons for this and usually what seems like an awful turn of events might make perfect sense in the future. But there are some plans that are much dear to your heart. Long cherished plans for which you work hard, prepare everything that needs to be done and beyond and still you don't get to see them fulfilled as unfortunately things just don't work out for some strange reasons beyond your control.

I feel dejected and guess no pep talk or even divine intervention is going to work for me. This is one of those rare moments for me when it is difficult to love life. *:( sad  

I hereby tender my resignation ...




It was during my photography session at Hanging garden, I came across the realization that was brewing inside me since quite some time. I feel like quitting everything! And travel around the world all alone without having to worry about anything or anyone. Yeah, that's true, I am possessed with this  irresistible desire.    

I don't know why suddenly, looking at the very old, beautiful iron chain surrounding a monument near my bench, I felt rusted. I felt stuck deeper into a hole that I would perhaps never be able to escape. Amidst the beautiful energy all around came this poignant moment when my heart revolted and convinced my mind to give it a serious thought, causing endless cerebral chaos which is still difficult to silence. 

I shared this experience with my friends who laughed it off as predicted:

"Are you nuts?" 

"You can't!!!" "Period!" 

"But, why????!!! 

You have such a BEAUTIFUL life!" "What a loving family!!" 

(I admit, I do have a very blessed and privileged life. And many would kill to live my life.) My friends were polite enough not to call me insane on my face *:) happy but were infuriated and upset with me for having such "crazy" thoughts. Not surprised by their reactions though, here I am, ranting my views.

I sometimes wonder why it is wrong to listen to your heart! After fulfilling all my duties in various roles in my personal and professional life successfully, completing twenty four years in my marriage, having brought up a wonderful son who I am very proud of, why is it looked down upon if I am honest in saying I am tired of it all? Does it make me a bad person? I am seriously sick of putting everyone else before me and in the process ignore myself completely. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to play victim here, in serious need to attention or sympathy. My life is result of choices I made and not once I have regretted having made those choices! 
                                                                   
I am really tired of never ending series of being frazzled by all the duties at home and work and running around endlessly to ensure they are performed well! What is the point in earning an enviably great life if you don't have time to live it? 

The voice inside me is asking me to break all the self imposed shackles and be honest and true to myself. For a change, I wish to put myself first in my priority list, explore life on my own without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. My inner voice is telling me to make this change and go for it ASAP. Does that make me selfish?      

No offense, but...

This morning, I had a long conversation with a friend of mine who was very upset over an incident. One of her acquaintances met her recently and asked her, "no offense but have you got tummy tuck/ body contouring done? You have always been fat but now your body looks far too perfect! And as far as I know, you neither have healthy food habits nor do any exercise!" 

Unfortunately, when this insensitive remark was passed, there were half a dozen people present, as my friend was at her daughter's school with other parents. Obviously, she was fuming with rage. Luckily, at the end of our conversation and a long bitching session, we laughed our hearts out and her anger and resentment seemed to have diffused to some extent. 


Have you ever noticed, people using terms like, "no offense, but...","don't mind", "don't take it seriously" "just kidding" etc. always invariably end up saying something offensive as if trying to conceal their true motives, thoughts?


Most of the times, one ignores these phrases as they seem like good-natured gibe, fairly harmless, little jabs that are not supposed to leave a mark or hurt anyone if the intent behind the use is evident. But many times these terms are used to say something mean and still appear innocent and honest. People certainly seem to think they can excuse almost any thoughtless or cutting remark by using such mindless phrases and yet bail themselves out. 

When it is so obvious that whatever the person is going to say after "no offense, but ...", is going to be offensive, why even bother with this disclaimer? Is it really going to make things better? Is that really going to soften the blow of a sentiment like, “hey Simi! No offense, but I feel you are extreme case of cleanliness freak. It is not a good sign." And the person walks away nonchalantly as if it was all perfectly fine to say those things to me! (How I am sometimes tempted to take revenge by saying things like, you know what? How about you stopping to be a lazy bum and cleaning a big mess that is in your house all around? Cut back your TV time and do something constructive and stop poking nose in other people's matters? :) ) 

I find habit of using terms like "no offense, but.." premeditated rudeness. If someone is using this term, before the actual sentence starts, it means the person very well knows his/her comment is offensive but doesn't bother to frame it in sensitive manner or keep the mouth shut and avoid the hurt all together.

I am not suggesting to be politically correct all the time but being mindful of the language, topics, our attitudes and actions always helps strengthening our relationships in all spheres. But like they say, it takes all kinds of people to make this world and jerks and bitches are as much part of it! :)   

Sorry God, we are like that only!

      The dictionary defines the following words as;  

       Religious

       of, pertaining to, or concerned with religion,
       imbued with or exhibiting religion; pious; devout; godly:






















Spiritual

of pertaining to sacred things or matters; religious; devotional;  sacred.
As I type this article, my heart beat is racing, causing abnormally high palpitations. It is evident in the throbbing pain in my head that the blood pressure has also gone very high. I am on verge of tears due to frustration, anger, and sheer helplessness. It is Ganesha immersion day!  

There is complete mayhem on the road with processions of Ganesha immersion from every corner of the city. The madness is lethal combination of religious (?) fervour and fanaticism which is beyond comprehension for any person with average sanity. The noise coming from the blaring loudspeakers on the road makes it impossible to have normal conversation even on tenth floor with all the windows tightly shut! 

People participating in the processions mostly sponsored by political parties enjoy every bit of fleeting moments of glory coming their way, gyrating to the loud Bollywood numbers. If you live in Bombay, perhaps, you may not find anything unusual in the scene I described. Problem is, with each passing year, the competition to flaunt political clout becomes much intense around such festival celebrations. I find this trend deeply disturbing.

Being born and brought up in staunch Maharashtrian Brahmin family, I respect and value all the festivals, irrespective of community. It doesn't matter whether it is Ganesha, Eid or any other festival, our celebrations are becoming louder by the day. Forget the God, I miss the organic experience of simple, innocent celebrations without much fanfare ! 

It is strange that something as personal and poignant as faith/religion  stands threadbare defined by contours of the way we celebrate the festivals! I have been raised in religious environment and have always been in deep awe of peace and spirituality part of it. Unfortunately, nothing seems sacred any more, not even our worship! With each passing day I struggle to find some semblance of religion/culture/ spirituality in high decibel revelry all around. ! Sigh!  

Faith in Almighty/God/religion is difficult to put in words and it is a very unique and personal experience. This very faith helps us hold life with equanimity and drive our emotions to surpass worldly boundaries and govern that unseen, infinite power within us. But when this very faith is altered for the sake of carnal, political and commercial gains, does it remain as sacred?

Religion has great powers that open new vistas of learning if interpreted and understood correctly but when the very religion compels us to close doors, the ethos is lost completely. 

For a change, I feel sad for my favourite Lord Ganesha. Just like me, he also appears to be searching some trace of religion/spirituality in the mindless revelry all around, in vain! 

My dilemma about the Ice Bucket Challenge

"Where is your ice bucket challenge video?" demands my cousin who nominated me for the challenge last week. "Looking at the videos and photos I have seen so far, I can't think of doing it unless I have a perfect figure like a Kingfisher calender-girl" I reply giggling, trying to elude her question. Upset with my answer, she is about to start lecturing me, when I explain the reasons for not participating in the challenge. I doubt she is convinced as she sighs nodding her head, saying "you are so boring and un-cool Simi!!!" 

For anyone, who is connected to digital world, escaping the latest meme, the Ice Bucket Challenge has become impossible. By now, you must have seen many of your friends dunking into freezing water, screaming through torrent of ice. Perhaps, you might have been even nominated by a few. 


The ice bucket challenge for me is great example of creative marketing with a social cause. It is a significant moment of our modern times that has proven that humanity can use social media for the common good.  

For most people, making the videos, it has all been a bit of fun, a must for their "coolness quotient". Many people seem to be doing it for catching attention without knowing the disease or the cause! By saying this, I am certainly not trying to show any disrespect for the people who have taken the challenge with serious understanding of the issue and have made an honest attempt to contribute to this cause. But when I see the videos of the ice bucket challenge, I cringe! No one seems to bother to understand ALS! It’s more fun talking about Taylor Swift’s wet shirt than what ALS is about and how it shatters life of those suffering from it! I fail to understand why throw a bucket of ice water on your head and tweet about it when you can directly donate to the cause?! 


Here is what I feel: if you really want to help out, don't just throw ice water on yourself. Spend some time understanding and then talking about the disease and the difficulties it entails for the patient and his family. Share your opinion about why you think it is important to discuss the disease. Make the challenge more meaningful, and more actionable. Tell people where they can donate or volunteer. And don’t just do this for ALS, do this for other causes you may feel strongly about. Do this for causes that need our utmost help.  


ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) – is a life threatening condition that attacks one’s nerve cells that eventually leads to paralysis. I have lost a very dear friend to this deadly disease three years back and understand the suffering a patient and the family members undergo. 


Nothing can match the feeling of reaching out to someone in need but sometimes it is imperative to check if our decisions about donating are driven by values or potential impact or by celebrities and the entertainment value of the fundraising campaigns really endorse. The focus of the ice bucket challenge should have been ALS. Unfortunately, the whole concept is reduced to a publicity seeking farce. 

So, to all my friends and family members who have nominated me for the ice bucket challenge, sorry guys, I am not participating. If that makes me "boring or un-cool", I have absolutely no issues with that.   

Don't suffer in silence, consult a psychiatrist please!

It is frenzied Monday morning; everyone in the house is at breakfast table, simultaneously running schedule for the day in mind and managing the conversation going on when hubby's phone rings. He leaves the breakfast unfinished and talks with saint like patience and sympathy for about twenty minutes while I fume secretly at the caller and get concerned that hubby will have no time left for breakfast.

The caller is a distant relative from mother in law's side; a lady in late seventies, a widow with two sons in their late forties, both suffering with severe psychological issues that need expert professional help. One of her sons has attempted suicide in past and now is bedridden. Her calls have become a ritual and reached a point where she calls any time of the day and night, desperately seeking some solace for the bouts of anxiety caused by her tragic circumstances. Family members and relatives close to her have distanced themselves long back as their attempts and advice to take help from psychiatrist have met with contempt and callously ignored, further complicating the issue. 

Isn't it deeply disturbing to see such cases around us; people in desperate need of help of a professional psychiatrist shying away from it for lack of awareness, fear of social rejection or taboo? It is strange even in today's times, when every minute detail of our life gets shared with hundreds of strangers on social networking sites, there is no one around to notice, understand, support or reach out in time when one's mental health needs attention? Try talking about feeling depressed and people promptly suspend its possibility, diluting its seriousness by ignoring it or going into complete denial assuming anything "abnormal" like mental health issues can't happen to seemingly normal person! The typical argument one finds is, "what does she/he have to be depressed about in life? She/he has everything hence no reason to feel that way." Unfortunately, the world's most disabling epidemic rears its insidious trap in very subtle way. 

The recent tragic case of Hollywood actor, Robin William's death has once again brought the topic of suicide/depression/mental health to the fore and since last few days, social networking sites are buzzing with lots of stories on the subject. Shocked as we might be by such tragic events, not much really changes in our mindset or perspective about the issue and we, as society continue to have complete disregard for a healthy approach towards mental health issues. Psychiatry is still seen as some mysterious field and is a delicate matter that needs to be handled respectfully even by the medical practitioners. Despite the medical advancements, there is hesitation in disclosing the fact to the patient that he/she needs help of a psychiatrist.    

The social acceptance of consulting a psychiatrist is so low in India that even the most educated people prefer consulting alternate healers or fortune tellers instead of seeking help of a psychiatrist! One finds shockingly widespread cultural beliefs that blame demon possessions, bewitchment by evil spirits, ancestors’ spirits, or the evil eyes for various forms of mental health issue. There are rampant false assumptions for mental illness attributed to karma or the will of god. The stigma attached to the mental health issues is so potent that people who suffer from psychiatric problems are subjected to social isolation and ridicule that sometimes reaches inhumanly insensitive limits! 

Our modern day mantra of emphasis on perpetual happiness fails to understand and value importance of healthy, natural balance of different feelings including pain, disappointment, anger etc. We need to learn to deal with our natural emotions, accept them and learn to cope with them in mature, healthy manner. No mental illness should ever be trivialized as most of the diseases in mental health are treatable with proper medical attention, psychiatric therapy and social support if addressed on time. 

Psychiatry is not a taboo and consulting a psychiatrist does not mean the person is weak or has something to be ashamed of or keep hidden from friends and family. There is serious need to create awareness programmes on understanding mental health and the issues related to it within community and encouraging people to come forward for treatment before they reach a state of crisis. Consulting a psychiatrist should not be considered only when all other attempts to handle issue on our own fail and to create that kind of awareness tackling misinformation and incorrect yet long-held beliefs need to be handled with utmost maturity. Psychotherapy should not induce fear or embarrassment. It should give ray of hope. 


We all have secret demons. Just because someone is not able to deal with them properly does not make him/her weak. There is dire need to reach out to those who need to be heard, understood and taken care of. 

A life lost/ruined due to mental disease is a shame on society. Each case like Mr. Robin Williams is a reminder we still have miles to go. It is time we learn to be sensitive towards people with mental disease and their families and help spread the awareness about it. I think we owe that much to society.  

Raghurajpur, an emblem of heritage arts and crafts of Odisha!!!

About fifteen km from the revered city of Lord Jagannath, Puri, there is a tiny little hamlet Raghurajpur, nestled on the southern bank of r...