Ever since Pepsico.CEO, Ms. Indra Nooyi expressed her honest and open views on why "women can't have it all", at ASPEN Ideas Festival a fortnight back; http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/07/why-pepsico-ceo-indra-k-nooyi-cant-have-it-all/373750/ , her views appear to be the hot topic of discussion everywhere one goes, whether it is digital world, social gatherings, parties or art previews. And I can't help thinking on the very subject and wonder why this obsession for "having it all" in first place?
Incidentally, I am yet to come across anyone who can claim to "have it all" despite being super successful in almost every area of life! What Ms.Nooyi talked about was in context of work-life balance for professional stature of one of the most powerful working women in the world and she is absolutely on the dot in her candid confession and I truly admire her for that.
We live in insanely busy times when there is pressure on most of us to strike that work-life balance and yet stay ahead in the rat race of "having it all". What all really defines this "all"? And who sets the benchmark for it? When I look around, there are many successful working women struggling to find balance in their different roles 24/7. Some are content with what they are able to achieve, some, on verge of nervous breakdown.
What really happens to average women/women still climbing professional peaks and in the process face the challenge of striking that balance which is much difficult because of lack of sufficient support network from immediate family/friends/extended circle or finance? I see mind numbing stress overpowering lives of so many because of this abnormally irrational demand of "having it all"! And like Ms. Nooyi says, when a woman falters at doing justice to what is expected out of her in various roles, there is perennial guilt.
Isn't this "guilt" that most working women experience, result of cultural conditioning? Why do we as society, fail to acquiesce the fact that it is bizarre to look at women's different roles as exclusive? The conflict occurs when we don't realize that a working woman occupying various roles in her professional and personal life has limit to how much she can practically deliver in each of those roles and at some point all the lines would blur between the personal and professional life demanding merging of all different identities into one!
Unfortunately, the sentiments of Ms.Nooyi's mother resonate with many Indian homes including "educated" ones! Also, not many Indian husbands would give a hearty laugh just like Mr. Nooyi at being told that they should be happy being part of their wife's list! Why do women by default, fall into trap of accepting the onus almost entirely on themselves when it comes to household duties, valiantly pushing insane limits to multi task? It is absolutely okay to excel in some area of life and be average in other. Why subscribe to that need to be "super woman" in every area of life?!!
Parenting, as they say is the toughest job in the world and for working mothers it can be a nightmare without any support. Being a mother and working woman myself, I understand the pressures and challenges these roles entail. Fortunately, I have luxury of flexible working hours but despite that there are times when work and home pressure create conflicts that are unavoidable.
Incidentally, I am yet to come across anyone who can claim to "have it all" despite being super successful in almost every area of life! What Ms.Nooyi talked about was in context of work-life balance for professional stature of one of the most powerful working women in the world and she is absolutely on the dot in her candid confession and I truly admire her for that.
We live in insanely busy times when there is pressure on most of us to strike that work-life balance and yet stay ahead in the rat race of "having it all". What all really defines this "all"? And who sets the benchmark for it? When I look around, there are many successful working women struggling to find balance in their different roles 24/7. Some are content with what they are able to achieve, some, on verge of nervous breakdown.
What really happens to average women/women still climbing professional peaks and in the process face the challenge of striking that balance which is much difficult because of lack of sufficient support network from immediate family/friends/extended circle or finance? I see mind numbing stress overpowering lives of so many because of this abnormally irrational demand of "having it all"! And like Ms. Nooyi says, when a woman falters at doing justice to what is expected out of her in various roles, there is perennial guilt.
Isn't this "guilt" that most working women experience, result of cultural conditioning? Why do we as society, fail to acquiesce the fact that it is bizarre to look at women's different roles as exclusive? The conflict occurs when we don't realize that a working woman occupying various roles in her professional and personal life has limit to how much she can practically deliver in each of those roles and at some point all the lines would blur between the personal and professional life demanding merging of all different identities into one!
Unfortunately, the sentiments of Ms.Nooyi's mother resonate with many Indian homes including "educated" ones! Also, not many Indian husbands would give a hearty laugh just like Mr. Nooyi at being told that they should be happy being part of their wife's list! Why do women by default, fall into trap of accepting the onus almost entirely on themselves when it comes to household duties, valiantly pushing insane limits to multi task? It is absolutely okay to excel in some area of life and be average in other. Why subscribe to that need to be "super woman" in every area of life?!!
Parenting, as they say is the toughest job in the world and for working mothers it can be a nightmare without any support. Being a mother and working woman myself, I understand the pressures and challenges these roles entail. Fortunately, I have luxury of flexible working hours but despite that there are times when work and home pressure create conflicts that are unavoidable.
With time, I have learnt to cope with such situations without feeling any guilt. If my work requires me to stay out of home for long hours, it means the routine seven course meal served at the dinner table would shrink into three or four course and the family members are expected to welcome the change with smile. If my hobby/passion demands I am out on early Sunday morning, it means people at home would have to delegate some work without expecting me to complete it on my return. And no, it does not affect me that sometimes I am not able to fulfill some of the expectations in my different roles at home. Of course, I can't eliminate the conflict completely but I have learnt to be at peace with my choices without feeling guilty.
This is my life! And I get to decide what truly matters to me. And I am absolutely okay with "having it all" on some days and having a little less on other. My life is not a rat race and I don't need to decide its worth by what I have achieved professionally or how many dishes I can cook for my family. Period!
