My accidental pause...

In our hectic schedules of endless hustling, a few days of break from all the frantic action is always a welcome change. But if such break is imposed, it is a different story altogether! Two weeks back, I sprained my ankle and last week almost broke my left arm, leaving me with a splint on my hand and a limping right foot! For a restless soul like me, being confined to bed is difficult but when the doctor recommends it with a serious face, I have no choice but to surrender. Life has suddenly taken a turn, full of sporadic lurches leaving me scrambling to bring back some rhythm to its original pace.

No matter how well we plan our work and routines, there are some inevitable occurrences that thwart our plans and create situations leading to crisis. In my current condition, even seemingly simple, routine things like trying to pour some tea from kettle has become huge challenge. It leads to ridiculously frustrating yet hilarious episodes. I am learning remarkable patience albeit not always willingly but due to sheer helplessness! I have progressed from initial stage of whining to the stage of acceptance and trying hard to make best out of this opportunity to relax.

The other day, I pulled out some old photographs, went through them leisurely, laughed at myself in the pictures, the way I looked and dressed and cherished those beautiful moments spent with my family and friends! In past two weeks, I read voraciously and stumbled upon my niece's lovely handmade bookmarks that she gifted me affectionately! I have had luxury to become a complete couch potato without the iota of guilt and watch my favourite Discovery and National Geographic channels. The complete absence of any demand has brought in some serene calm that I otherwise miss out in my routines. I am much more present in everything that I do and that is a habit I need to cultivate. 

This experience has made me realize that sometimes, being stuck in inaction is a blessing in disguise! I still yearn for those white sandy beaches, quiet cool mountains with spectacular view, solitude of the desert, the excitement of an action filled adventure vacation or even of distance lands. But that can wait till I'm back to my normal self. Till then, I'm more than content with my temporary pause, away from all the frantic pursuits!

Phenomenal woman, you ignite my spirit !

I spotted her at a handicraft exhibition, few weeks back. There she was; at the stall, selling exquisite, indigenous craft items from the state of Gujarat. She was dressed in gathered skirt, long blouse in interesting hue of pink with orange tint and printed odhani (garment that covers head and is pleated to the skirt) with an intricate lace at the border. 

Her attire, very ornately embroidered in shocking pink, green and blue stood out in perfect contrast with the trendy outfits of impressive array of people dressed in mostly summer whites or light colours. Her stunningly beautiful accessories in silver and gold were simply breathtaking! Her hands, full with colourful bangles in plastic and silver and her upper arms embellished with bangles in white made her look absolutely mindblowing. 

There was something more to her, much beyond her vibrant clothes and jewelry that was very compelling! She commanded respect with her stern yet elegant presence and that precisely what intrigued me and tempted me to strike some conversation with her.

 

I took my own time to approach her and finally met her when she was relatively free. There were barely few people discussing and admiring her elegant creations with brilliant finish and checking out the prices. At last, she looked at me and I seized that opportunity and with a smile, asked in Gujarati, "kem chho masi ? "(meaning, how are you aunty?) She was happy to hear those words in her mother tongue and at that very moment, we struck a chord. For the first time, I noticed her face and it captured my attention in a way that is difficult to explain with words.  

One look at her face and I knew I was witnessing triumph of long years of hard work. Her eyes, with deep Kohl were very haunting and yet there was something gorgeous in it. The undiscovered worlds beneath her gaze seared my heart. Her face concealed scars of agonizing pain that were buried within, unattended for ages. And yet, there was something exceptionally remarkable about her. I was speechless for some time and completely at loss for words. I wondered what all she must have gone through in life?

Fortunately, being familiar with Gujarat and its rich culture, I remembered I had an advantage. I had enough to make her speak. I picked up some cushion covers with interesting motifs and great finesse and asked if there was any social, cultural or spiritual significance to them. She looked surprised but that certainly won me her gorgeous smile and she opened up and shared a few things about her life briefly!

She hailed from a small town in Gujarat, was heading a micro enterprise, created and supported by women of her village. She was supporting a joint family of more than a dozen people and she counted herself very blessed because children from her village were able to get education, receive more than just basic health care, dress properly and eat nutritious meals. She seemed happy that the younger lot did not have to face harsh realities of life that she and her generation were often subjected to in times of dire poverty.

She explained with pride, how women from her village despite many difficulties, had learnt to be independent by creating a business model meant for craftswomen. She talked about how education had contributed to a better life and her dream of reaching out to many more villages through the enterprise. It was only five years since the micro enterprise had started but she seemed determined to make it a successful venture and was convinced it had great future. I asked her if she ever got tired of the work and wished to enjoy life with her large family of children and grand children at home, to which she promptly replied, "Every woman from my village is my family and if we think about our own desires and interests, our venture would collapse." Here was a lady, who had never been to school, imparting some of the finest lessons of life through her own example!

Our conversation didn't last more than a few minutes but in those moments I was completely overwhelmed. Despite all the hardship she experienced in life, she had not lost her raw beauty that seemed untouchable. She portrayed immense courage in facing every challenge, life presented and proved herself a winner!

I finally bought some cushion covers and bags as she started having many customers again. On my way back home, I realized I had not even asked her name! But it really didn't matter. For me, she would always remain a phenomenal woman, who ignited my spirit and had changed me in some subtle way within. 

Plant from the broken pot...

I was going out yesterday and as I waited for the security guard to open the main gate for my car, I looked at the garden casually and a plant caught my attention. There it was, thriving happily and the sight of it made me grin in disbelief! There is a story behind it. 

That plant was part of my home till about a few months ago. Every day, I would water the plant, clean and caress its leaves gently. When the colour palette changed, creating different shades of pink and white, it received extra admiration from me and I could sense its happiness reciprocate when the leaves started the slow dance with the flirtatious wind! (And we think only human beings love attention!) 

I was away from my home for long time due to my mother's illness few months back. With heavy heart, I had to hand over all my plants to the gardener of the building. When I returned, the plant was in terrible condition. The building was undergoing renovation and the plant had suffered heavily. All other plants except this one were doing fine. I was in tears to watch its leaves and roots dried up. The gardener had shifted it to the bigger terracotta pot and it was obvious that he had done everything possible to revive it. Then, last month, a worker mishandled it while shifting the plant and the terracotta pot broke. At that point, I gave up on it, thinking, that was the end of the story. The final blow! I felt sad thinking about how I would never be able to touch its tender green and pink leaves again.

I am so overwhelmed that it is NOT the end of the story. Ever since the pot broke and half the roots spread to the soil and regained life, traversing through cracks and crevices, it has survived and grown remarkably, bursting with vitality and vigour! Now it has a new structure to anchor and areas for the root to expand and grow. It looks magnificent and it is difficult to believe that it was struggling for life just about a few weeks ago. I have observed every stage of its bloom since. 

Yesterday, it dawned on me - one can't grow in a small or broken pot forever. If we continue like that, we would end up dead. If we have to realize the potential of our life, we must be conscious and aware of our respective "pots" where we exist. Most of the times, we meander through our daily existence in a haze of isolation barely recognizing the need of our true spirit. 

The plant at the garden has taught me many things. When I tried to put myself in its shoes (roots) or whatever, it made me look at things from Nature's vantage point. Suddenly, Nature looks very different. I feel I am very much part of the web of Nature and not an outsider. This plant is a mirror in which I can see myself in a slightly different way. And as much it is a story about a plant that survived, it is also a story about human desire.  

If I have potential to grow I must be willing to change and adept. I always believe change is for good and it is high time to change from my cracked pot existence! 

"You don't get to choose how you are going to die or when. You can only decide how you are going to live. Now. " - Johm Baez   

Are you living in a small cracked pot ?

A world within the city...

I love to wander unknown streets in the city and click photographs. I find a cafe, order a coffee and discovery of unfamiliar territories in my cerebrum begins. It can be any place, even a bench under a tree just when I am barely out of rain or searching for a respite from sweltering heat and declare that place my fortress for some time. What follows in those few moments, is an amazing journey that helps me grow and evolve.

 A jetty carrying people from Versova to Madh island

Yesterday, I had an opportunity to visit a place in the city I had heard about but never visited before. I am a member of a group that plans weekend shoots at various places in the city. The shoot was at Versova village, a tiny hamlet thickly populated by vesawe koli people. I must confess, when I started walking towards the village with the group members, I experienced series of feelings; irresolute and conflicted, discordant, uneasy and uninspired. Since the place buzzes with fishing, the abhorrent stench was a HUGE challenge for olfactory senses and there were times when I sincerely wished to return without shooting a single picture!

 Boat lying on the shore

The bulging bag of chocolates I had carried for the members of the group was emptied in seconds by the children who chased me, grabbed me, made me sit, sprawled near me and asked innocent questions. They were interested in knowing about my family and life in general. When asked about my mother, I told them I had I had lost her very recently. I could sense recognition of the loss flash in some of their eyes.

 A roadside joint serving breakfast at early morning

One old lady with a very gentle smile, approached me and asked if I was married. After learning that I was married, her expressions changed and she almost demanded explanation from me for not wearing the mangalsutra, bangles and toe rings! 

Worker at the flour mill  

It was very painful to keep away from the core areas where so much action took place. The Koli women were indeed very tempting subjects but the fish market was situated right on the big garbage dump where the stink was beyond my tolerance level. However, I did manage to click many other facets of the life throbbing there that captured my attention. I was  bowled over by a couple of people who despite the stench managed to visit the deep pockets of the village, befriend the people and clicked some fabulous pictures.

   A koli woman selling flowers near the temple 

I missed out on shooting many interesting subjects due to my being very sensitive to smells. I was on a great high despite that. I treasured every single moment of my visit and I realized that the highlight of this shoot was not only the pictures but connecting with "real" people with innocent smiles and big hearts. (I was surprised to receive many invitations for having "fish curry and rice"!)

  Waiting to sail

Few hours spent on early morning Sunday, provided glimpse of different life that is far away from the softly padded walls the modern city, just a few meters away from this place lives! The shoot was an answer to a clamouring scream to break out from layers and layers of florid world and grasp at something "real". Exploring macabre world at Versova served that very purpose!

A closure ?

"Live by the sword, die by the sword."

From, Gospel Of Mathew, verse 26:52

While having my tea with hubby this morning, he broke the news of world's most wanted terrorist leader, Osama Bin Laden's death. He refrained from sounding very thrilled and I could feel his concern for the likely repercussions this major historic development in "the war against terror". Honestly, it took me some time to accept the news. I was soon glued to the television and only when I got the confirmation after listening to the U.S president Obama's speech, I experienced momentary sense of relief. 

Let's accept, in an instant, world changed completely post 9/11. World's political climate changed forever and the gruesome attacks on 9/11, established terrorism as legitimate tool for politics and religious fundamentalists. Islamic terrorists continued fierce "jihad" with deadly force at Bali, Riyadh, Madrid, London and India that changed the psyche of people world over. These heinous acts of Islamic radical fundamentalists made world accept terrorism as reality of the day and compelled us to learn to live with this nightmare! 

Remember that black man, trying to jump off the twin tower? Images of macabre deaths caused by terrorist attacks still haunt our minds and the conscious. Have you experienced pain of watching tiny children play games of "terrorist and police"? Have you seen the expression of a child who plays role of a terrorist and goes about shooting his play mates with his toy gun? Every time I witness such scenes, something within snaps sharply.

I remember, some time back, after having learnt about incidents of bombings in Delhi, I called a friend of mine to check about him and his family. His response was shocking! He said, he and his family were fortunate to be safe and added that he didn't wish to watch the news of the incident on television as such attacks were "same world over, the same scenes of chaos, bodies lying in blood, people crying and the media going bonkers, as usual." 

The death of Osama Bin Laden is certainly not an end of the global threat of terrorism. "Jihad will continue even if I am not around," Osama bin Laden had declared, long back. It is evident that radical Islamic terrorists groups like Al Queda will continue to massacre innocent people. Albeit, the greed for power that is often disguised as politics and religious fundamentalism would change the games hence forth. 

For Mr. Barack Obama, and the U.S.A, death of Osama Bin Laden is a historic achievement. (Have we forgotten who created Osama Bin Laden and allowed him to grow?) The media has enough content and "theories" to last for few weeks, till it finds something equally important to focus on! 

It is ordinary citizens like us who are finding it difficult to heal all the pain inflicted by terrorist attacks. We would still continue to worry for our loved ones. We would continue to witness random mayhem some where in the streets near us or in some other country and despite our insecurities and vulnerability, thank God for our safety.

What about the wounds that have deeply ingrained on humanity? What about the society that is becoming insensitive and numb? Well, we live in interesting times. We have learnt to maneuver our conscious, our psyche, our emotions and feelings in this ever changing world that hardly provides opportunities for a permanent closure.