From food stall to the "filum city"

It was one of those typical days when you keep toiling without achieving much. My weary mind was screaming for a little respite. I headed to a handicraft exhibition hoping to shift my focus from the mundane and get some fresh perspective on my work, when I returned.

It looked like the day was not meant for me. There was nothing new or interesting to discover at the exhibition. I was leaving disappointed, feeling terribly guilty for wasting time while more important things needed my attention. I heard someone from the stall near the exit; a voice coaxing me, "Madamji padhariye, hamara Rajasthani khana try kariye. (Welcome, would you like to try Rajasthani food?")"Khamma ghani bhaisa" I replied (Hello/ Namaste brother!), to the man from the food stall. My greeting in traditional Rajasthani style instantly captured attention of the whole team of about six men, between late twenties to thirties all dressed in whites with traditional Rajasthani paghadis (turbans).  

Bhavani Singh, the leader of the group

There were interesting Rajasthani food items neatly arranged on the table and men at the stall were waiting attentively for the customers to arrive. Bhavani Singh, the leader of the group, tried to sell hard, "Madamji, churma, ker sangri, gatte ki sabzi, dal-bati, sabkuch fresh bana hain. Kya khaoge?" (He named traditional dishes and said they were freshly made and if I would like to try any). I refused politely posing some excuse relating health and asked if I could take their pictures. Surprised, he asked with a grin, "Aap reporter ho?" (Are you a journalist/reporter?") I giggled and explained that I write a blog and share stories of interesting people. Not sure he understood it well but from that point on, my conversation with him and his team flowed very smoothly.

Bhavani Singh, Narendra Singh and Rampal Singh

During my chat with these men I learnt how smitten they were by the swanky silhouettes of this effervescent city that exudes such aura of wealth and power. Their life back home was so far removed from the comely allure of the surrounding that they seemed completely out of place. Bhavani Singh's genuine, perdurable smile could provoke instant envy. Rest of his team members were bit reserved, proud, decent and dignified despite the rampant pressures urban life had subjected them to, in few days. I probed gently and each member opened up. In the beginning, they appeared stiff and their eyes portrayed stony silence but their curiosity was difficult to hide. They were very keen to know all about "filum stars" (film stars) and when my very limited knowledge about the film stars was shared, I saw glint of aspiration in their eyes. 

Himmat Singh, a senior member of the group

When asked why they were not in their traditional attires like dhoti, kurta with ornaments like balis, kadas, anklets, Bhavani Singh said since everything around them was changing, it was high time they changed too. I asked if they could survive with this kind of work and were able to support families back home, the group members shared their concern about fierce competition and need for changing priorities and inevitable transition. At no point, despite the shared bonhomie and camaraderie within the team, hierarchy was forgotten and it was evident in their interaction.  

When I shared my beautiful experiences of several places in Rajasthan and told them how enamoured I have always been with its culture and people, it looked like I had won some brownie points! While chatting with these men, a shy, reticent figure peeped from behind the tent. At the sight of helper/cleaner, Bhanvar Singh, the whole team insisted I take his picture, saying he was most hard working member. 

Bhanvar Singh, the helper/cleaner

Bhanvar Singh, barely spoke a word except his name. Perhaps, this was his first trip to the city. He posed reluctantly, more on insistence of his group members than me but not before glowering disapprovingly in my direction. He appeared too scared and starkness in his eyes was disturbing. My only challenge was to make him smile without intruding and fortunately it was achieved when I showed his picture and complemented him for having very photogenic face. 

After spending about half an hour with this group that was from completely different world than mine yet very much connected in some strange beautiful way, I returned home happy with a big grin on my face.  

Too busy to live

Work meetings, guests, family, extended family, relatives with need for medical care, picking up/dropping relatives from airport/railway station, cleaning up, cooking, shopping for grocery, planning for mother in law's holiday and the shopping sprees prior to the trip. The list is endless. My life has revolved around these things past few weeks in no particular order and has somehow managed to chug along! No, I am not complaining. I love doing everything I mentioned but am just a little tired.  

A list of "things to do" getting longer each passing day keeps vying for my attention. Every day, a few things get added to the list because you think you would be able to devote time and get it done but actually don't. Once you start working on that list, many other things demand your time and attention due to sheer need of that hour and the rest of the things go on back burner. No matter how smart, efficient and organized you might be, that is how life works sometimes. You can't do a damn thing about it. Sad!

It has been quite a while since I met my friends and they are on verge of disowning me. It is comforting to know they won't actually do it, in reality. Hubby and I have given up planning or talking about delicate topic of taking long holiday as it seems like a very distant luxury. He can't stay away from demanding work for more than two or three days. Son has already announced he won't be available for any family gathering/holiday as his schedule is tight for next few months. 

There comes a point when suddenly one realizes weight of time that has just flown by leaving its proof in your greying hair. Yesterday, I saw a man in his late 40s lying on a tiny wooden cot outside his road side shop, looking very tranquil. He was a perfect picture of poise and presence; absolutely unperturbed by the chaos around, scorching heat, or the suave women passing by. Looking at him completely immersed in gazing at the sky with almost Zen-like serenity, I could not help asking myself when I would attain that!

There must have been times when we human beings were mightily happy and content to just sit and be! Our life has become so much harried. Duties, responsibilities, expectations, demands, ambitions, desires, dreams etc. deafen our minds with its maddening cadence. Every person is running after some insatiable chase, moving like addicts into unheard, unseen rhythm of uncontrolled chaos. How many moments during the day do we actually live? Can we really blame anyone or anything for this plight? Aren't we  all prisoners of our own device?

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." Socrates

    

Stolen moments

I frequently hear a clamouring scream from within to break out from my frazzled routine and layers of florid world around me and grasp at something real. I love to explore circus of life with my camera, apprehending quiet interludes with complete strangers. The experience invariably unfolds fascinating, valuable and inspiring stories about people, human nature and life in general. 

I am not a trained photographer with formal education in photography. However, every outing with my camera has enriched me immensely and made some lasting impressions helping me change, grow and evolve as a person and that is the reason why I can't stay away from my camera for long! 

It has been quite a while since I went for photo shoot and off-lately have been sulking in "I can never be a good photographer" mode. The feeling gets enhanced when failed hours of absolute rubbish work gives huge dent to my fragile ego and leaves me deeply humbled. That is precisely how I felt last evening, while going through all my photography albums. Interestingly, a few photographs captured my attention instantly and I was reminded of the stories linked with them. 

It is amazing how each photograph reveals a story! While taking photographs of people my beautiful eyes pierce through the cold horizons of their eyes and scout for something more. I have to keep a watchful eye on those fleeting moments when my subjects allow return of their reality for a brief moment, bereft of any guards. Within those few seconds or fraction of second  lies a challenge to understand, feel and capture gravity of their emotions and get essence of their spirit. Once that is attained, there is nothing more rewarding than being able to capture genuineness of the subjects' being.

The Joker

I spotted this gentleman crowded by dozens of children wanting to take a picture with him. He obliged everyone gleefully but the moment an interesting event for the children was announced, he was deserted without even being thanked by many. Looking at him, posing with big smile, laughing loud, tickling toddlers and entertaining everyone around with his remarkable tricks, I thought, would he be as happy in his real life too? And there came a moment when I saw him contemplating about something, the only time I could not see any joy on his face! 

A man playing lord Shiva, sans the snake 

This man's worried eyes were in search of the crowd that would stop and see his show. Many people brushed past him, barely stopping. The more he felt rejected the more restless and aggressive he looked. Post two cigarettes and a cup of tea in short span, his eyes gleamed when he spotted his partner with a fake snake that was required to be worn around his neck while performing. Choicest of abuses were hurled at his partner for arriving late and before he got into the character of Lord Shiva and opened his third eye, I fled and saved myself from the fury.

A toys seller

This toys seller and her family are a permanent fixture at Kala Ghoda. Like it happens with millions of people living on the streets of Mumbai, this girl has learnt very early in life that harbouring any ambition or dream is futile. However, when a group of uber cool teenage kids, slightly younger than her got down from a swanky car, passed by her with indifference and entered the gelato shop nearby, her face suddenly became dull and there was a hint of angst that surfaced for few moments. She did not have time to feel jolted by the experience as she was instantly drawn back to her world where her three siblings were fighting, creating a scene, again. 

Child folk artist from group of Rajashtani performers

A child artist from the troop of Rajasthani folk artists looked exhausted and very sleepy. He was often seen yawning during the performance and was the only member that looked out of place. Was he forced to join the group? May be all he wanted to do was play cricket with his pals at home, who knows? 

Group of  Rajasthani artists waiting for the performance to begin

There was still time for the show of this group to begin. Unperturbed by the increasing commotion around them, these folk artists were seen sharing bidis, laughing at the urban crowd and the blatant cultural difference that juxtaposed two uniquely different worlds. The business was brisk with generous tips coming their way and they looked bit relieved. It was difficult to judge if all days were as easy for their survival. Despite having received great admiration and appreciation the older group members kept aloof! 

Random moments of Zen

One of the most fascinating things about life is how some random incidents reveal insights that enhance our perception about people and life in general. Sometimes, these incidents compel us to visit unknown realms in our minds. The greatest reward of such beautiful moments is when one's nurtured energies find space for contemplation that translates into life changing experiences. Few days back, I happened to have such experience that took my breath away. 

I was very exhausted by hair tearing moments while being stuck in the traffic, cursing my past life karma and seriously contemplating if there was any possibility of atonement. The vehicles barely moved a few inches every time the signal was green and I was feeling furious, helpless and almost in tears thinking about how much travel I still had to complete. 

Just then, a tall lanky figure in barely a loin cloth emerged near the car ahead of me. A man in his late thirties, a beggar from across the street, carrying a chubby kid on his shoulders was trying to cross the road. There was something primitively beautiful and enigmatic about him. His solemn walk and the joyful conversation with the kid had esoteric quality to it. Despite his dirty body that was perhaps not washed for quite some time, he came across as portrait of purity and radiance that emanated from him. (Remember the kind of halo that the books talk about while describing holy men?) The moment I saw him with his kid being completely soaked in their own bliss, I forgot about everything around me instantly!      

The flood of emotions I felt while experiencing it is beyond realm of words! Here was a man, who did not know from where his next meal would arrive, walking as if he owned this world. I was in such awe for those brief moments that when my eyes met his beautiful, serenely calm eyes I could feel God! It took me quite a while to realize that the man had already left and the people from the vehicles around me were cursing me for not moving my car.

I was in deep contemplative mood after that incident wondering how life is not all about wide eyed glares and wistful glances. There are open and much playful little moments to this long, unending scroll of floating world, a lyrical stream of tenderness running through life right amidst the chaos and cacophony. There are several moments that offer vismaya, that elevating sense of wonder our scriptures talk about. All I need to do is just embrace these simple, poignant moments.  

My only regret during this incident was not having my camera with me but some incidents/images/people are etched forever in your heart and the fakir like man that I saw is one of them. 

An inconvenient truth

Whenever I start writing on any serious topic, there is a voice in my head that says, "There are so many beautiful things to write about, why I am writing on serious political issues?" I listen to that voice many times but some events leave me overwhelmingly outraged, vilified and suffocated. Agreed, politics is not my forte but as a citizen of this great country I am compelled to write about issues that can be no more ignored conveniently, no matter how inconvenient the truth sounds.  

Last week in Mumbai, Raza Academy (an organization working for promotion of Islamic culture) organized a protest to condemn the alleged attacks on Muslim in Assam and Myanmar. Sunni Jamaitul Ulma, Jamat-e-Raza-e-Mustafa, Avami Vikas Party and several other Muslim organizations also supported the protest. Interestingly, within minutes of the protests, people from media and police were attacked and public property was damaged by rowdy protesters. With such lunatics at large, security of people became a challenge leaving many seriously injured and two people dead. I wonder where the so called "secular" leaders  who have always thrived on appeasement politics, were when these fundamentalist hooligans were threatening law and order. 

Frankly, I am always jittery over anyone/group/ that claims to be a voice of community/group/nation, articulating well-crafted rhetoric! I am yet to understand if such protests lead to any alternate suggestions/answers in constructive ways. Wearing black badges and converging to Azad Maidan, the Muslim protesters expressed concern over alleged massacre of people from their community. I am curious to know their stand on issues of Kashmiri Pandits being massacred and thrown out of Kashmir from their legal, legitimate homes. 

Nothing can justify violence and human rights violation. Ironically, we are not perturbed by rampant abuse of human rights as nation but our "sentiments" are easily ruffled by non-issues that stir up to the extent of creating civil unrest to meet political agendas!

The significant human rights violation in Assam over the decades is compelling evidence of violence emerging from suppressed anger, injustice, mindless greed, filthy power games, administrative lethargy and all that resulting in deeply ingrained hatred, suspicion and hostility. The tragic predicament of Bodo community is mainly caused by illegal immigration of Bangladeshi Muslims who not only snatched their lands but have become very dominant in past few years threatening the very survival and also diluting cultural and social identity of Bodo community. Sad, the ruling parties in the state have not seen underlying threat these immigrants have posed to political, economic, cultural and social well-being of our country. 

Why does our past and present always have to remain in conflict? How many more decades  are we going to still choose to be imprisoned by useless rage and damnation? It is time for reconciliation on our blunders of epic proportion that made our country suffer dearly. I know, the ethos of such framework is never a simple black and white solution. Compassion and re-conciliation can be our guiding lessons to move forward but before we think on that line, we need to quell the disruptive forces in mediation of who we truly wish to be as country. Unless we do this exercise with utmost honesty and conviction, the rhetoric of a "great democracy" is "in deep s**t"!

This 15th August, when we buy those tiny Indian flags from the kids at traffic signal and feel great about being patriotic enough, let us not forget that many lives are being lost in silent desperation and somewhere down the line we have knowingly or unknowingly contributed to the mess by being comfortably silent!