Its time to reflect !

When our heart leads us somewhere, it's always for a reason.  We need to follow and find out what that reason is.  Usually, this change brings us closer to who we really are; it allows us to discover our true self, and be more authentic.

   

Since past couple of days, God seems to have possessed my soul and turn it inside out! I hear clamouring scream to break out from virtual layers of all that I have been routinely doing so far and grasp at something much more real, meaningful (I am yet to figure out what it is, yet!) They say, life is, all about trusting your feelings, taking chances and learning from our experiences. 

Life is going great, both, personally and professionally (touch wood!) But every time I see life sailing smoothly, the inner bitch warns me against riding the wave and getting carried away by it lest I start taking it for granted. I dread stagnation and in my constant endeavour to reinvent myself, I realize, it is time for this blog to take a pause and reflect with calm mind. This is 150th blog post and the journey so far has been truly amazing! 

   So far during this journey, I have bared my emotions, talked about deep concerns and shared some utterly stirring stories. I know that insatiable need to tell stories buried deep inside me, won't allow me to sit quiet for long. But for now, I must step back and gather all that is happening in my utterly chaotic mind. Its a constant struggle as we often find our truth in least expected spaces; in the least imagined ways. Sometimes, this struggle has its own delight!

     

Before I leave, I wish to thank all my wonderful, loyal readers, friends, family, complete strangers, who participated  on this blog, expressed their views, gave suggestions and ALWAYS encouraged me with their kind words and appreciation. I am still "a work in progress" and wish to remain one till my last breath. It is fun to interact with so many people from across the globe through this medium. Thanks a ton for being part of this journey as it certainly helps enhance my experience as writer and gives me interesting perspectives. 

I will be back, once that eternal nomad in me is conquered and calm. Till then, do mail me your suggestions on the changes you wish to see on this blog. Thanks. God bless you! 

Colours of Diwali

As I type this post today, there is deafening sound of crackers bursting outside. The city is oozing with overwhelming energy and there is sensory overload. Its Diwali and the atmosphere is redolent with celebrations! And like it always happens around this time, I am in no mood to write long post.

Its time for endless parties, catching up with friends and family, mad conversations, letting funny bones go in overdrive mode and endless laughter. Its time for indulgence, sharing and spreading smiles. 

Wishing all the readers of this blog a very happy Diwali! May our inner light shine always and guide us find the right path in life. May our life be filled with immense love, compassion, joy, peace, beauty and amazing moments of wonder! Before I sign off, here are some  hues of festivity captured on my camera during my walks. 

Hey look, "I am rich"!

The divine fragrance of coffee, wafting from across the coffee shop was so inviting that I decided to take a small break from shopping spree, at the mall. While waiting for my coffee, it was fun enjoying the festive mood and bubbling energy all around.

"Oh, my Gowwwwwd!!!!", a sudden, screeching voice and a very weird accent interrupted my joy. An accident was on the verge of darting in my direction, freaking me completely! A lady was struggling with huge shopping trolley; helplessly dragged by the wheels going astray, precariously steering her way, plunging towards me. Having realized that she had lost balance, I recovered from shock and rushed to help her get hold of things and made her sit at the table next to mine. A cold "thanks" and a snooty, plastic smile later, she got engrossed in her cell phone and I returned to my table bit amused with what had just happened before me. 

In those brief moments of my helping the lady to settle, I was aghast at what I had noticed. She was a flesh and blood, blaring advertisement of many a designer labels. Her clothes and accessories were shouting for attention. Sad part was, her attire was overpowering and she looked as if she did not belong to the labels she was fiercely trying to flaunt. Intrigued by her faux pas, I was wondering if she was a victim of stifled insecurity or ostentatious "superiority complex" to be so keen on proclaiming her lifestyle to the world. I sincerely felt that the lady would have looked much better without that hideously over embellished dressing from head to toe. 

I love designer clothes and accessories and wear them too, don't get me wrong. But what always baffles me is the need for vulgar display of lifestyle choices to create a halo effect. I fail to understand the need to advertise self-worth through "labels". 

We live in times driven by conspicuous consumption and it is very tough to keep up with Joneses these days. Every day, the bar is raised on a "perfect" picture of just about any and every area of our life, no matter how intimate. There is a constant assault on our minds about how one can fit in and create that carefully crafted "beautiful" life that can make rest of the world gawk and envy us. 

I could not stop thinking about an incident I had witnessed just before entering the coffee shop. A lady and her young daughter were arguing over the choice of clothes. The mother was trying to cajole her daughter to buy a latest, trendy outfit while the daughter was not willing to budge as she was happy to wear a dress her granny had specially stitched for her. The doting mother reminded that she had already worn the outfit couple of times and that "people" had seen her in it but her daughter saw no point in buying anything new as she didn't see the need. "But mama, I feel so special in that dress because granny has made it for me and I love it! And so what if people have seen me in it, what's wrong in wearing it again?" I was truly amazed at the maturity and understanding of that young girl.

It is quite a challenge these days to wake up and not feel "good enough" in some area of our life as we don't fit in the set prescribed standards of "great life" by the so called experts. Suddenly we have become too conscious just about everything in our life and are worried if we are doing it right. 

The very concept of building our identity based on some artificial illusions is disturbing. My concern is the race to look "better, smarter, richer, healthier etc." and where does it end really? Why chase something for the sake of recognition? What is wrong in not subscribing to those set standards by others and sticking to one's individuality without worrying about how we are perceived by the world? There is so much out there telling us what we should do, look like, wear, buy, eat, read, think, say; how to create dreams and live them, be more rich, slim, beautiful, sexy and we seem to be enamoured by the vision without really living it. 

There can't be anything more pathetic than becoming someone for the sake of fitting in some vicarious thrill or illusion! Yes, its great to have money and be able to buy the most expensive things in life but those things don't define us completely. There is lot more to us than our material possessions. In my observation and experience, money can NEVER buy culture and class.

The true celebration of life is in finding and staying our authentic self. It is okay to shun cacophony of outside world and listen to our inner self. There is no point in wasting time, energy and money on some bizarre, borrowed idea of life. What matters in the end is not what all we acquire in life but whether we have lived our life truly and left our signature mark.          

Discontent by default design

I happened to bump into a neighbour from our previous house where we lived for quite long time. I used to be pretty friendly with this lady initially but as the time passed and I realized, we didn't have anything common and keeping relations with her was a big drain on time and energy, I consciously withdrew from her. My problem with her is that she is one of those people who live their life on typical "auto-pilot" mode, incessantly crib about everything and feel that life is very unfair to them. I excused myself with apologetic face before she could start story of her horrible, pitiable life!

Who has time to listen to "You know, my wife/hubby would never understand". "I have moved on and it is amusing to see him/her trying to get my attention." "My hubby is so sweet, he is taking us to Europe for vacation but I don't want his parents to accompany us." "My hubby has such great connections that at any given time, there would be at least hundred people eager to help him should there be any need, anywhere under the Sun but he doesn't know how to use them." I NEVER have time for such conversations. There are better things to do in life for God's sake! 

You know, some people always seem 'stuck' wherever they are in some sphere of their life or other! If you pay attention, you would also find that entire focus of their life is on problems instead of finding solutions! ("You know, driver is on leave, I can't go out." "If you don't drive, take an air-conditioned taxi." "But it's so hot!")  The list of "problems" is endless and constant sense of lack surfaces in everything they do. ("I am not rich like you. I have to think about budget." "I can't go out alone like you/ I don't get time to pursue my hobbies like you. You are so lucky!") Notice that comparison? Try recommending that to be financially more secure, it makes sense to be mindful about investments, take informed decisions, save wisely and curtail expenses or being able to spend time on one's hobbies needs strict time management so that the priorities don't get messed, the immediate reaction would be defending the stand taken so far. Are these people unhappy really? I feel they are bored to death and don't know what to do with their life or don't wish to do anything about their life as they are too comfortably settled where they are and sadly they don't realize it! 

I am not a life coach so why I am talking about this issue today? I have no business talking about other people or how they should live their life and I am not setting myself above the fray. The reason why this topic came to my mind is a casual question asked by my ex colleague recently, "how come you always have everything in life?" My answer was, "because I deserve it." I was tempted to tell her that my "perfect" life (as perceived by her) is not at all 'perfect" and I have learnt to take the imperfections in my stride and focus on what truly matters. I wanted to tell her that my life is a 24/7 hard work and it is a continuous process of learning and unlearning but I knew she wouldn't hear any of it as she had already decided I was plain lucky!

When we think about life; how it is going, it is not just some random time frame that we talk about. It is about quality of daily routine, on daily basis. How we invest our time and energy determines overall quality of life. Interestingly, in my observation, people who complain about lack of time, money, freedom, personal connection in relationships invariably have serious issues regarding self-esteem/confidence/control and end up doing same things (if it is a weekend, it means, going to the mall/watching movie/eating out) with same set of friends/social group, without realizing the need to expand the horizons. There is nothing wrong in mundane if it makes one happy but then why complain and resent others who achieve better in life? And by achievement, I don't just mean material achievements.  

In times when our work responsibilities, modern, urban living demand so much  of our time that its all the more important to be mindful about choices we make, think about with whom and how we spend our time, what we spend our energy on, what we do when professional/social responsibilities don't demand our time/energy. Most of the time, life just passes by! Our habits, interests, passions, routines, pursuits of goals/dreams (if at all there are any) and the way we go about it, reveal a great deal about who we truly are. 

The quality of life depends on our deeply rooted conditioning and how ready we are to make changes should there be any need. A small deliberate gesture to bring some change no matter how uncomfortable it may appear in the beginning can help one explore the possibilities of understanding what ticks us, makes us happy and give us fresh perspective on the way we live our life. Even if the change doesn't click for some reason, it still helps to bring us closer to things that might work for us. The continuous exploring possibilities help us define what we really want and who we truly are. And if the change resonates with our values/interests/dreams/goals, we should embrace it whole heartedly.

What we don't realize sometimes is that any amount of money no matter how obscene, a great career or the most enviable lifestyle is not going to ensure fulfillment and peace in life IF our life is not aligned well with our core values/goals/dreams that define our true being. Nothing is permanent in life; even our own selves are constantly born anew. The beauty lies in enjoying those fluid moments of constantly learning, growing and becoming new every single day. When we are willing to change, there are immense possibilities waiting to embrace us and help us widen our horizon. The problem is how ready we are really?  

    

Rhythm divine, call of the "Dhakis"

With arrival of autumn, the whiff of festivities gets thicker in the air bringing in lot of joy, hope, celebration of remnants of traditional customs and rituals, a much deserved respite from our daily grind.

I have always been very fascinated by the traditional drummers fron Bengal; Dhakis and their Dhunuchi Naach, an integral part of  puja celebrations. Its only around this time of the year that one gets to listen to them in full glory of their art form and watch them swirl to the rhythm of Dhaks, (a percussion instrument from Bengal) on every beat. Once Dhakis strap their Dhaks around their shoulders and start playing, the mood of puja suddenly livens up.

The soothing sound of Dhak holds immense magnetic pull and the moment the first beat is played, people start surrounding Dhakis, whirling, singing and dancing with Dhunuchi (coconut husks and herbs placed in earthen pots) in their hands. And suddenly, seemingly ordinary drummers are transformed into different beings; lost in their performance and worship of Maa Durga  adding divine grandeur with lot of energy and reverence, bringing in true essence of the puja. With different rhythms played for different occasions, this carnival of sound is something that one must experience to understand its enthralling magic.

The most alluring aspect for me during Durga puja, is watching conflux of old and new generations, reunion of traditional and modern, varied hues of life, each, in perfect harmony with other in celebration.

I overheard an old gentleman explaining his grandson how music of the Dhaks connects to our heart beat and how it has always been integral part of culture, tradition and life. The joy on face of that old gentleman while teaching his grandson swinging to the beat, was brimming with great nostalgia and I could not help thinking there could not be any better way to bring families together and get in touch with the roots. 

There is ethereal beauty to the energy at puja pandals despite all the chaos of the commercialization. After participating in Dhunuchi naach to my heart's content, I returned transformed; overjoyed, bubbling with loads of positive energy.   

Shubho Bijoya! May goddess Durga, bless you and your family!