Stop broadcasting your "busyness"! Nobody gives a damn!

It is a typical hectic Monday morning meeting. As usual, I have arrived five minutes ahead of the scheduled time. One by one, people enter the room and before the meeting actually begins, I take the opportunity to connect with people and exchange courtesies. Interestingly, in those few minutes everyone frets and fumes over his/her "genuinely alarming busy life", claiming to be much more important than the rest hence leading much worthwhile life. I am tempted to shout at top of my voice, "You claim to be insanely busy? Get a grip. You think the universe really gives a damn?" 

Have you observed the responses to a simple, courteous question, "how are you"? In all likelihood, the answers are going to resonate with typical contemporary anthem of rushed, whiny refrains;

"I have been so busy! I am up to my neck."

"Oh, it is crazy. I am burned." 

"I am always on the run. Phew!"

"No time to breath."
"There is too much on my plate. Just can't take it!" 

"I am invisible even to myself. Forget others!"
"No time to stop now. I am riding the wave I have created." 

I am not at all trying to belittle anyone's work or underestimate pressures it entails. Everyone is busy these days in different ways. Right from a nursery going toddler to corporate honchos, everyone's schedules are becoming hectic by the day. With limited time and unlimited demands, commitments, expectations and compulsions; for some people, it really becomes painfully tough to find the right balance.

Some of the most successful people I know, (and I am fortunate to be surrounded by so many!) somehow always have time for everything they wish to do in life despite their insanely busy schedules! They invariably always go out of their way to find time and make meaningful connections with family, friends, are free for holidays, social work and are also devoted to their passions! The best part is, I have never heard about their busy life from any of them! Is it because time is a scarce commodity in their life, they use it effectively?

I am amused by the ridiculous lengths people go to flaunt their "busyness" by endlessly bragging, tweeting or ranting on social media as if it is some badge of honour! In my observation, people who always bemoan "being busy" suffer from self inflicted choices. The present day obsession of busy life is not always inevitable condition but result of the choice by our conformity to it. Unfortunately, being busy is perceived as being important, productive, effective or successful!     

The notion of busyness ensures validity of a  life worth something. It saves the social embarrassment of one's life being perceived as irrelevant. There is need to work smart, not hard. We are all entitled to make choices in life and when we choose to live life that is demanding, why complain? 

The next time, you are tempted to use that boastful line "I am too busy" or listen to it coming from someone, it would help to check if it is disguised to cover up some inadequacy or used as an excuse to avoid something. (Believe me, we all have done it, knowingly or unknowingly!)  The findings would surprise you and compel you to assess your life and realign it. 

It helps to understand and accept a simple truth that sometimes, less is more. 

Lesson from a crumpled ten rupee note

The market was drenched in aftermath of rain, slowly struggling to come back to its normal pace. I noticed her while she was busy arguing over a tiny space; vehemently claiming it to be hers with another hawker. I see her many a times and have always found her to be most quiet and dignified unlike many pesky hawkers around and that is why listening to her loud voice was a shocker for me. She earns her living by selling hair clips and other accessories at the market that I usually pass by during my evening walks. 

We both have followed an unwritten pact of silently acknowledging each other's existence through exchanging glances and smiles that sometimes extend to waving too. Albeit, we have never exchanged a single word! And it has worked well so far. She has very expressive eyes and my heart breaks when I see a hint of sadness beneath her smile. 

All this while, I have refrained from making an effort to strike a conversation as she comes across as very private person. But yesterday it was different! Her usual smiling face was sullen and she looked vapid. Something within me snapped and I decided to check with her.    

Bit embarrassed by knowing that I had witnessed her scuffle, it took her a while to tell me that her child was starving and due to some personal issues, she had not been able to work for few days. I passed her some money and asked her to buy herself and her child a proper meal. While she was very hesitant, I could feel her struggle in accepting the help. I quickly left from there hurrying up my speed to complete the walk on time. I must have walked for about fifteen minutes when I heard a shrill voice following me, "Madam, wait"!

There she was, rushing frantically towards me, waving ten rupee note. 

"Please take your money Madam." She said, panting. 

"What money?" I asked surprised.

"The rice plate costs 45 rupees. I need two. There would be still ten rupees left from the money you gave me for food. Here is your ten rupees madam."

"You ran all this way like crazy to return this ten rupee note?!! Keep it with you. It does not matter." I said.

"It does matter to me, Madam." She said firmly. 

In that moment I saw a glint of pride and utmost gratitude in her eyes. 

As we looked into each others' moist eyes with new found respect, we struck a beautiful connection. Suddenly her harsh face softened with a lovely, genuine smile. I took that crumpled ten rupee note and walked away with great contentment feeling very proud of her. We both parted; she, with her pride intact and me, with my faith in humanity.    

There are some bonds for which we are indebted to many people in some indefinable way and no matter how short these bonds might last, they teach us great lessons of life.  

Shifting our house, yet again!

I am writing this article from our new home where we have recently moved. It is the fourth house since we shifted to Bombay and with each experience I am learning to keep calm amidst sporadic lurches that become part of such major changes. Of course, I have my share of most frustrating moments too but I guess I am doing great considering the way our house looks currently after completing one week here!

My emotions are in a bit wobbly state remembering the fabulous time and the special, beautiful memories and experiences we had in our old home. There are moments when I still miss that home and wish to go back there.

Life since past three weeks has been immensely crazy and completely disrupted. Each day has been bustling with extraordinary activities making me scatter in all possible directions and I have struggled very hard to maintain sage like patience amidst all the chaos and maddening confusion that packing, unpacking and reorganizing have entailed. 

It is interesting to see how shifting a house can make one understand a few things that otherwise go unnoticed! It is hard to see anything with clarity and objectivity when we are in middle of it and during the process of moving our house I realized to my surprise that I have been quite a hoarder! Why do we find it hard to let go of things? Wonder why is it so hard to part with something that has outlived memories, emotions associated with it? Perhaps the gap between vacating our old house and organizing our new house made me realize that maybe I am chasing more than I truly need! 

Setting up a house is very exhaustive, frustrating and yet creatively gratifying experience for someone like me who absolutely loves decorating my home. It is like having a huge blank canvas waiting to be painted! I prefer our home to be a very personal space that resonates with essence of the people living in it, even in most unstated corners.  I love my home to be inviting where people feel welcome, pampered, absolutely cozy and at ease with the spirit of our home.

I have already started receiving incessant calls from friends and relatives keenly waiting to pay us visit and check how the new house has come up but I am secretly hoping they would give me a break for few days as I can’t wait to throw my “things to do list” and run away to a quiet place for some time. I wish there is some divine intervention to make that happen, really! 

Shutterbug at Mahim Nature park

"The lines and forms are visible signs of divine gestures.  Learn to understand them and you will comprehend how God created the world.” ~ Filippo Brunelleschi (1377-1446) 

Since last few weeks, I have been sulking silently for not being able to attend any art exhibitions or weekend photography shoots due to demanding work schedule. I was secretly cursing my life, praying for some respite when I learnt about the photo walk my photography coach had planned at Mahim Nature Park. I thanked the universe for granting my wish (yeah, it actually listens!) and geared up for the shoot next day!

For me, one of the greatest rewards is to find some time alone. I love taking walks amidst Nature on early mornings and if I am with my camera, then nothing else is needed. The experience of taking walks amidst Nature is always soaked with sacred moments of deep rooted piety. There is something amazingly different about the rambling of woods and grooves that are part of this wild world which unfolds its mystery of obscure ruggedness. 

The disorder compared to the order of the garden in my building where I live, has an element of surprise. The neat and well manicured garden of my building holds exquisite infinities of peace which is fascinating but so different from what the nature park offers! The chirping of birds, slowly catching up with the new day amid the serenity of morning sounds, fragrances and rhythm is heavenly. I love to see intricate labyrinth of plants weave into one another and branches of trees bending and brushing against my face and ruffle my hair, when I pass. It is a sign of my presence being acknowledged! There is this strange equation of the quiet and the tumulous and I seem to be at perfect peace with it.

There is nothing controlled, precise, intellectual, inorganic in Nature! Everything one sees is organic, free flowing, alive, has rhythm and feels natural and right. One finds balance and harmony even in asymmetry. There is a smooth visual flow in marvellous forms, patterns, colours and textures existing in Nature and the element of design always exists in abundance!

The photo walk was great learning experience and when I returned , my frayed nerves and withered spirit were absolutely calm and there was beautiful energy oozing out of me! Perhaps that was result of the solemn tranquil moments spent at the Nature park which made me feel insignificant standing under the grand scale of abundance. The strong fragrance of some plants and flowers that lingered on me long after my return compelled me to indulge in meditative self reflection and I felt deeply cleansed and at complete peace. There was nothing more left to be achieved!

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.” 

― John Muir

"Whoever loves and understands a garden will find contentment within."

-- Chinese proverb 

This is Bombay, "meri jaan"!

Stunning architecture of CST station

Yesterday we completed ten years since me and my family shifted to Bombay. I remember friends warning me before I left from Ahmedabad, "if you live in that city for more than two years, you will fall in love with it and you would never wish to come back." I remember laughing at the remark and replying "no chance!" And here I am! After spending a decade in this stunningly beautiful city of Bombay, I admit, the prophecy of our friends has turned out to be completely true!

For many people living outside Bombay, this city is about Bollywood, a place for never-ending dreams, a land of endless opportunities. There is more to Bombay than Bollywood, overgrown slums, the dabbawalas, premier padmini taxis, vada pavs, the cutting chai, stock market,  BEST buses and fishermen.    

How does one define Bombay? It is a city of powerful contradictions! There are layers and layers to many invisible, different worlds, swirling into myriad patterns of juxtaposing and coexisting in this effervescent city that exudes such aura of power and wealth!

I remember the first macabre sight on the day of my arrival in Bombay which still haunts my mind; seeing a frail vagrant struggling to find food from a stinking garbage dump along with a dog, cow, a crow and the biggest rat I had ever seen in my life! That soul stirring sight was a great moment of epiphany for me!   

Bombay is like kaleidoscope! It magnificently alters the scene every second before you, as bits and pieces of life are reflected that shift and change, depending on where your focus is. Being a keen observer of life, I rarely miss stirring beautiful forms/images of everyday life. Even the routine life on a mundane fast paced day in this metropolis is immensely inspiring! The inhumanly crowded trains and the helpless travelers who almost appear immune to noise, smells and hardship, completely surrendering to their destiny makes one appreciate little things in life much better. 

A tiny house tumbling off a precipice, falling into a dark, unending abyss flaunting beautiful plants and pictures of Bollywood is reflection of quintessential Bombay sight. Amidst the blaring sounds, loud colours, the mass of faceless, stifling crowds, navigating through blurs of daily challenges of survival and amidst all the chaos sneaks divine fragrance of freshly bloomed flowers that signify hope/ new beginnings. From chic urbane locales, cultural places to secret, ancient hidden pockets/villages, Bombay has a lot to offer if you are willing, open and accepting of it. There is sharp contrast if you explore the city and see the less shiny innards beneath Bombay's shiny exterior and that is something I find very endearing.

It has been exactly a decade since we shifted to Bombay and there has never been a single day when I have not been awestruck by the spirit, energy and glaring contrasts of this amazing city! When I walk around the streets, the photographer in me searches for angles, and perspectives, the writer in me searches for the stories and the student of life in me searches for meaning in all that unfolds and the city always offers itself with open arms, as the ultimate Muse.

Bombay has given me so much! It has brought me closer to myself. I am fortunate to have a very blessed life but this city has made me realize my blessings and appreciate life more. It is impossible to escape ceaseless struggle of life around even from well cushioned comfort of luxury. It is unsettling to watch sea of people buzzing in and out of local trains, look at children as young as one beg on the traffic signals, come across a middle aged person who continues to struggle for that ultimate role in Bollywood even after decades or listen to the stirring tales of eunuchs if you have a moment and humanity to stop and notice their existence. It is fascinating to listen to so many rags to riches stories at almost every corner! 

It takes time to understand Bombay. There are immense pressures of rampant mayhem of urban living. We often admire realistic depiction of life in this metropolis that is romanticized in movies. But when one observes reality with such proximity, it is a different experience all together! To many, Bombay is a sardonic pastiche, a vicious cauldron of urban destitution where thousands of people migrate chasing an elusive dream of better opportunities, smitten by the swanky silhouettes.

Despite all the challenges, Bombay grows on you. There is something incredibly old and yet vibrantly alive about this city that is difficult to define. If you just stop for a moment you become part of the chaotic cacophony and can feel the pulse of the city. The nonchalant way people go about their struggle everyday and the way they take chaos around them in their stride is truly inspirational!

The eternal nomad in me keeps warning me that it is not right to be attached to any one place and that I should be as happy living anywhere under the Sun but I know deep down, I have completely surrendered to the seduction Bombay has so subtly cast upon me. 

I have no shame in admitting, I am truly, deeply and madly in love with this fascinating city of Bombay, my muse, meri jaan!