" Unto dust you shall return "

" Remember O Man, you are dust and unto dust you shall return. "

 ( Genesis 319)

Since last few days, while watching mother Nature's fury in Japan and the devastation it has caused, I have felt very humbled. Entire world has been grief stricken, watching shocking news of earthquake and Tsunami in Japan. How ephemeral everything we take for granted is! Death, at such a scale and tragedy of this magnitude are brutal reminders that must be embedded to save the moment of ultimate truth about life from its tragic destiny of transient epiphany.

I have recently experienced what death really means by losing one of the most important person in my life. Past two months have been emotionally extremely traumatic for me and my family. I lost my mother last month. What happened a month before she passed away was a completely unknown domain in my life experience, till then. Death, has completely different significance when we lose our loved one! There is a small corner in my heart that is emotionally still wobbly after mom's demise and it successfully hides (or so, I like to believe) behind my tough exterior.  

While I was engrossed with mom's hospitalization and ultimate, inevitable death, life planned some new lessons for me. I was shattered by the tough challenge life suddenly compelled me to face, sulking silently, asking God why he had been so unfair to my mother (after all, she didn't deserve to suffer like that!). During mom's hospitalization, I observed myriad sides of life which were disturbing and was taken aback by life's perfect sense of timing in imparting interesting perspectives about some harsh realities.

I came across some cases that pushed me to realize insignificance of my pain and question myself if I was truly entitled to complain at all. I met a man in very critical condition, who was hospitalized by his son and was later completely abandoned! There was a case of a woman, from a remote village who lost her baby during delivery and was denied possession of  her baby because she wasn't in condition to pay her hospital bill. Someone was suffering precariously due to chronic neglect and callousness towards life and some were very young to suffer or experience pain, life had destined for them.

Endless cases of heart wrenching reality and countless lessons were right before my eyes and how could I complain about God being unfair? Far too often we are engrossed in our tiny bubbles of existence and fail to have vision beyond it. Sadly, we realize what a true gift life is, only when we are faced with some loss or tragedy.

After watching latest news about Japan and the horrific scenes of loss and pain I am unable to sleep peacefully. If my mom's loss has created so much void and made me feel as if a BIG part of me has died, what must be people of Japan going through? I shudder to think. All I wish to do is pray for them and be thankful for all the blessings God has generously bestowed upon me.

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be...

Recently, I attended a wedding in the family. I love celebrations and above all, meeting people! A wedding, filled with all the ingredients that I cherish about life, was a perfect break that I longed for quite some time! Two days of a typical big scale Indian wedding and my mind is already brimming with lots of fascinating stories, observations and experiences!

I met a gorgeous old couple - in their late seventies and for two consecutive days of celebrations I was completely blown over by their youthful attitude and divine chemistry. In my experience, old people are inherently entrenched in memories of their glorious days and obsessed with their health issues. Here was a couple lost in each other, participating in every possible ceremony with sparkle in their eyes. Be it traditional sangeet, mehndi or dance, they were having a blast and all the eyes were marveling this couple defying age with their infectious enthusiasm!

There was something magnetic about the couple that tempted me to take every opportunity to interact with them. They told me how they vouched to have best time of their life ever since their children settled in their respective lives and renewed their commitment for each other on their 50th wedding anniversary. While having conversation with the old lady, she blushed pointing at the gold wrist watch and showed me the message engraved on it that read, " grow old along with me, the best is yet to be ". She looked at her husband and proudly told me that the watch was a gift from him on their first marriage anniversary! Her every movement, tonal nuance and expression resonated in perfect harmony with her husband and his one gaze conveyed everything to her so beautifully!

I always love interacting with old people and children as they look at life with completely different perspective. This couple consciously lived the motto of living every single day, as if it was their last! There was a lovely halo to their faces that comes from contentment derived from life well lived.

It was easy to be carried away by the opulence and grandeur at the wedding but I engaged myself in knowing this old couple, I was very fortunate to meet. They were a proof that time is the ultimate test of love. There are many ways we love our spouse but it takes lot of time to know and love each other in most meaningful ways! I learnt what celebrating life really means.

When the wedding celebrations were getting over, everybody went on the floor for one last dance. As the old lady had problem with her knees, the gentleman asked me for the dance and I couldn't resist that tempting offer. That was one of the best dances of my life that I will always cherish !

Meeting Mr. "Know it all" and Mrs. "Snooty"...

I was at party, a small gathering at my friend's house a fortnight back. I prefer small gathering to the usual loud parties and big crowds, as it allows people to really strike conversations. Sometimes, these conversations provide great premise for opening up of whole new worlds through experiences of people from diverse fields and their engagements in their respective proffession and life in general. And at such delightful encounters of sharing, there is also silly laughter and absolute madness turning into still moments that makes one realize complete compatibility between even perfect strangers sometimes!

Most of the people present at the party were an interesting mix of accomplished artists, successful businessmen, a few known names from media and corporate sector. Just when I had started enjoying the mood of the conversations progress from formal to very casual, we all were greeted by two couples who walked in the party with that typical "in your face', "notice us" attitude, making pompous

proclamations about their "achievements" within the very first few minutes of their arrival. Obviously, everybody listened to them out of politeness but beyond a point, it became stifling as the conversation went only in one direction; grandeur of self importance and feeling of superiority through dragging people through dirt.

Any effort to change the topic by anyone present there was met with rude interruption and challenged with bratty arrogance. When they were ignored and some intelligent conversations were initiated on various topics, those couples dragged each conversation with sniffling servitude to the same " we have been there" "done that", "we know it all " and passed their "expert comments " on every possible subject persistently. When one couple was rhetorical, the other went on mindless praise to reinforce their weird sense of  audacious "superiority" and this was their modus operandi since the moment they entered the party!

My friend was embarrassed for no fault of hers and she soon called everyone to join the dinner table and very smartly made a different arrangement for those two couples giving them a feeling of "special treatment", while the rest of us were relieved to have finally got rid of their torture. Needless to say, at the dinner table the conversation was back to normal and we all shared lot of giggles.

On my way back home, when I revisited the experience in my mind, I felt sad. Those two couples at the party hailed from very affluent background yet the way they behaved made me contemplate on lots of issues that I felt were hidden beneath their undesirable behavior. I am sure, we all have come across such embarrassing encounters where people try to define who they are through what they possess. The ultimate emblem of their existence is derived from their frequent world tours - flying first class, expensive cruises they sail, flashy cars, villas, jewelry and most happening gadgets that they flaunt at every possible opportunity! The mad race in which they participate "to be seen", "to be validated" and the extent they go in strutting their arrogance is shocking! The most pathetic part in such people is lack of depth, about which they appear to be blissfully ignorant.

I always look forward to meet new people and its very rare that I have been disappointed. I look for substance in people and believe me, I have met most beautiful people at the most unexpected places and learnt so much from them. The two couples at the party were snooty and lacked basic dignity and social skills completely. And because of them, that evening, everybody missed out an opportunity to engage in conversations that could have transpired into something real, meaningful or much more fun!

I don't like to discuss people and was in two minds to write on this topic. The reason why I narrated this incident is, it provides insight into human bahavior that we all are subjected to and need to reflect upon sometimes. As they say, it takes all kinds of people to make this world.

And money can NEVER buy culture and class.

Thou shalt not judge...

About a week back, a very learned, well known journalist friend of mine tagged me in one of his posts on Facebook. The post had a very poignant story about Pulitzer winning photograph by Kevin Carter, during 1994 Sudan famine. If you remember that world famous photograph, it depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards the UN Food Camp. There is a vulture, lurking in background, waiting for the child to die so that it can feed on it. That picture received enormous attention world over.

My friend  gave a brief note about the trauma, the photographer underwent and disturbing details about how he was in deep trouble at the time of taking the picture and  how the photographer finally ended his life by committing suicide. After the note, was a request to express our views on the subject.

It was a very tough call to comment on that serious, sensitive issue of such magnitude! However, when the comments started pouring in, they made an interesting statement about how easily we tend to judge situations and people, without considering the necessary factors involved! Some people had opinion that instead of helping the girl reach the UN food camp, the artist tried to exploit the child's suffering to his advantage. It made me reflect on how incessantly judgmental we are just about everything in life! It reminded me of a recent incident when I had shocked myself with a very harsh judgment which was inconsistent with my principles.

Last month, me and my hubby had gone for a weekend at Kashid. Soon after we checked in a hotel, the manager suggested we visit more secluded part of the beach and showed us the way to reach there. It was a narrow path that could accommodate only one car. As we reached the beach, we saw a small cement structure and we parked our car at the slope there and headed to the sea. Hardly a few meters away, there was another car parked and a man wearing nothing except a tiny, thin towel emerged from it. He was short, dark, had a huge paunch, wore thick gold chains, cheap looking sunglasses and was speaking very loudly in a crude manner over cell phone. I was instantly appalled by his repugnant demeanour (atrocious ! what an eyesore, I thought). I was extremely angry with the man for dressing like that at public place!

After spending some time at the sea, when we returned to our car, we spotted the man atop his car enjoying his beer. I was so shocked with that sight that I secretly wished that I could make him disappear! My hubby had some difficulty taking the car out from the slope as it got stuck between cement slope and the sand. He kept trying but in vain! It became tricky and required some expertise to get the car out. Before we could even think about anything, the same man approached us and started guiding my hubby and helped him. He was surprisingly polite and patient.  It took almost thirty minutes to finally get the car out. When we thanked him for his kind gesture (there was still trace of anger in me and a big dent to my ego because the "eyesore" that I had so despised had helped us at a crucial time when there wasn't anybody around) he smiled very gently and followed us in his car and made sure that we reached the main road properly. He waved us good bye with a big smile and returned to the beach.

As we drove back to our hotel, hubby could sense some sadness in my eyes. When I told him about how insensitive I had been to the man and that I was ashamed of having failed in my own eyes, he said in his typical, always forgiving style, "It is okay baby! That's how one learns about life, about people." He started playing my favorite music to cheer me up. I smiled at him and closed my eyes. I knew, no matter how cautious I had been about not letting my judgments be colored by anything, I had wronged by completely ignoring someone's existence! I had judged that man by his appearance and had failed to see him beyond it. If he had not bothered to help us, I would have never known this side of him and would have even preferred to forget him completely!

The experience taught me how deep down some part of my inner self was completely disconnected  when I became judgmental about that man. And believe me, it was not at all a good feeling! I realized, I have to keep a constant check on my inner compass and that is going to be a continuous work in progress till my last breath!

Angels at the traffic signal

I have wonderful friends - a group of street children at the traffic signal, near my house . They are about a dozen charming kids . Some of them ask for alms or try to sell some products and some just peep through the glass window of the cars, to have glimpse of the world they can not afford to dream. Most people ignore them and drive off, the moment traffic signal is cleared . Mumbai is a throbbing, pulsating city and one just can not miss a moment in its maddening pace else the rhythm gets disturbed .These children have learnt to survive this city in their own unique ways.

Can you ever imagine, running frantically amidst the scary traffic of Mumbai ? Well , these children are expert at that. They have mastered the art of manoeuvering the traffic and make me stop my car no matter how hard pressed I am for time. The moment one of the children identifies my car, she calls other members of the group, posted at different locations at the signal and the chase begins. It is futile to try escaping it . Their smile, the glint in their eyes and sheer warmth captivates me and I am always compelled to stop for few minutes and end up spending more time chatting up with them .

It is more than five years since I know these children. Every time I stop by at the signal, I learn about new facet of life and human nature that my privileged life might be devoid of. I have seen myriad stories in their beautiful eyes and sordid truths that they manage to lock up behind their innocent smiles. Sometimes they open up and tell me about their lives and something deep inside me snaps. They are smart children and understand human nature much better than many of us. Perhaps, life has taught them that . When the going gets tough, I have seen them stand by each other despite their individual fight for survival everyday .The amazing part is, their hard life might have made them lose their childhood to great extent but not the hope .

I often ask myself what is it that drives these children to me ? Is it just the food and other things that I sometimes provide them ? But I don't give it so often for them to chase me like that! I think it is the time I spend with them and the way we all connect . They are thrilled to know that someone is interested in their lives and well being ! The most beautiful part of our relationship is, we all can read each others' minds and know what is going on . There have been instances when I have been upset over something and just by looking at my face they have sensed and comforted me saying " Didi , tension mat karo, bhagwan sab theek kar dega " ( meaning , don't worry, Lord will take care of everything ! ) .

These little angels often say profound things very casually and it works like placebo sometimes . They don't understand global warming or pollution but they do criticize cutting of trees and people spitting on the roads or throwing waste. ( I have taught them to confront people who try to litter the road and we often laugh when they narrate their experiences while performing this task ) . They don't understand racism but they do know that in eyes of God  we all are equal. Most of them don't go to school but what they have learnt from life is more meaningful for their survival .

What is it that draws me to them ? I think its their pure love ( no , they don't expect me to take care of their needs), their spirit to fight and survive and above all the beautiful bond that we share . What is it that these children really want ? I think they wish to be treated, acknowledged and accepted like human beings, and not looked upon as some unwanted part of society. That's all !

 Is it possible ? I think it is . Only if we look beyond their dirty bodies and filthy clothes.