Fading allure of bentwood chairs

There is something about the quintessentially Irani cafes that can't be separated from the city of Bombay. They are integral part of Bombay’s identity. 

Mosaic tiled floors, high ceilings, bent wood chairs with marble table tops with checked table covers, walls covered with mirrors in sheesham / teak wood frames, flakes of wall colour peeling, dusty, oily cabinets and hell lot of noise and amazing energy with heady concoction of the divine aroma of freshly baked delectable cakes/breads wafting in air, tempting one’s senses, this is what an Irani cafe of Bombay is all about and much more! There is reason why people still throng to these cafes; great food, good quality, quick service and its old world interior and charm of comforting familiarity that makes people across all the ages and classes feel absolutely at home.

Unfortunately, Irani cafes are fading from rich tapestry of heritage of Bombay and every time I hear about an old place with rich history, closing down, it pains me deeply.   

I have been reading about one of the Bombay's famous Irani cafés of the yester years, B.Merwan, shutting the shop. Since last week, a few friends on facebook have posted pictures and write ups about the nostalgic times spent there, compelling me to pay a visit fearing being disowned as an “outsider” by the true Bombayites.

It was my first and alas last visit to B.Merwan. I was completely heartbroken! I was sad to realize what all I missed out in all these years and ashamed by my callous disregard for a place that I used to pass by almost every day, while going for my pottery classes a few months back! Maybe I had seen the place but not noticed. Maybe I was too freaked by the taxies  barging in furiously, hawkers shouting at top of the voice and so much crowd and noise and felt claustrophobic and always rushed to the studio with my complete focus on not being crushed by any vehicle or stepping on colourful discharge being spewed by hawkers and passersby. Or, maybe, like most of other people, I did not care! 

Two days back, when I went there, feeling completely out of place amidst the crowd of men, it took me a while to ask the owner, "Sir, may I take a few photographs please?" "Take only two three. Not more. And don't take my picture." Like an obedient child, I hurriedly took a few photographs, struggling to ignore glances from men baffled by my presence and camera. Within those few minutes I could sense endless tales pregnant within. A piece of history important for the city was going to be shut forever. And I was not part of it because I chose not to. I bought one of the few walnut cakes that were left and rushed back home with pangs of guilt and shame.

Change is a natural phenomenon and one has to learn to take it in stride. But my heart aches when an important part of history, culture, place or person is lost forever. It was difficult for me to decide if I was pained more by those blank faces of the staff members at B.Merwan or my criminal indifference towards the place. 

On learning the "art of seeing"

“To photograph is to hold one's breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It's at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy.” 

― Henri Cartier - Bresson.

Ever since I started photography, I have been taking photographs without any formal training. There are so many frustrating, painful instances when I feel handicapped due to lack of any technical knowledge of photography and literally cry looking at the outcome of my photographs knowing deep down I have missed out something crucial. Well, that is a natural course for any creative process that involves learning, unlearning and evolving as artist. 

Two days back, I attended a photography workshop on "art of seeing". Since the subject was photography, the main focus of the workshop was "seeing" before capturing images. Most of the times one tends to interpret the world around through limited and very narrow filter of life experience, knowledge and awareness that one acquires in life. The workshop made me realise how often we are blind to our surroundings! 

Much of what we see is coloured by our environment, conditioning intellect and aesthetic sense. Being a photographer needs openness and a deeper visual awareness of seeing beyond what is obvious. All one only needs is basic professional camera with which to take a good photograph and good aesthetic sense. Everything else depends on what one trains the brain/eye to see through all the five senses. 

After attending the workshop, new vistas of visual perception have opened up and I am already seeing some change in the way I look at the subjects now. For someone as passionate about life as me, it is so easy to sometimes get overwhelmed with so much beauty and abundant subjects around and start clicking pictures before spending a moment or two understanding, letting the moment sink in and then capture the photograph. I think, I have learned a lot that I intend to practice in my photography. 

"Photography is an art of observation. It has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them." - Elliott Erwitt

"Beauty can be seen in all things. Seeing and composing the beauty is what separates the snapshot from a photograph." - Matt Hardy

My endeavour henceforth is going to be to make good photographs. Do watch out this space!

Enamoured by Spring morning !

These days, I have become bit lazy and I truly love it! I love to stay a little longer in bed absolutely chilled out in mornings, before embracing frenzied cadence of the day.  I spend languid moments inhaling piece of heaven that wafts through windows - fragrance of fresh Spring blossoms. 

Blame it on the cuckoo that visits us very early in morning and sings its heart out so loud that it is impossible to ignore her beautiful renditions! It feels great to resume my early morning, "time with Nature" regeneration sessions, witnessing every bush and bower spring to life with blooms and burst of colour and fragrance in the garden.

Each morning, I am completely enthralled by the divine solitude. Everything around me is serenely calm exuding ethereal vibes. During those few moments of my poignant journey within, I get to discover myself anew. 

Witnessing ebbing of starlight across the sky, being enticed with cool breeze and just when I am engulfed with its soothing touch, single cadence of tender rays slowly announce arrival of a new morning! Watching the very first few rays of Sun split into light is divine experience! Tender rays of morning, very gently awaken world from the luscious texture of night. The trees that stand like silent sentinels come to life. Mist is lifted subtly. Renewal of life glimmers and oscillates to every single cell, creating lovely energy. Flowers and leaves glisten with myriad hues and forms.

The new tender leaves and buds erupting from the trees remind me it is time to part with what no more serves purpose in my life and focus on new beginnings. The experience is sublime and in those blissful moments when I experience my being in stillness, being aware of Nature, feeling it, interacting with it without uttering a single word, with open mind and receptive heart, I feel in sync with the Universe!!!  

You are NOT welcome!

It has been a whirlwind of fortnight! With two weddings in the family, many celebrations and great many guests arriving to stay with us, past few days have been really crazy! The last batch of guests just left few minutes back and I was about to post the article scheduled for this week. Instead, am writing about an experience that has left my spirit withered. 

I have been very fortunate to be born and raised in the family whose hospitality was considered benchmark for perfect Indian hospitality. I ensured that in 23 years of my marriage that tradition of hospitality continued and our home has always been open to friends, family and relatives to visit us and be house guests whenever they wish to, despite our overwhelming schedules. I take immense pride in being a great host as I personally feel that it is an honour to have guests. This age old tradition has provided us wonderfully rich experiences and some of the finest treasured memories that can last lifetime. 

However, there have been instances when we had bizarre experiences when the guests have transgressed the line of hospitality extended and become inquisitive, intruding, unreasonably demanding, judgmental and sometimes even rude, conveniently forgetting the fact that the hospitality extended was barely  not earned or deserved by them  but extended as part of our family tradition and values.

During last week, in one such transgression by one of our guests; a distant relative, we as family were challenged to deliberate provocation and misbehaviour. It was shocking for us to believe that it was not enough for the guest to subject our immediate family to crass inquisitiveness, our domestic helps and other guests who routinely drop by were also subjected to it. Try explaining boundaries that you wish to be respected without losing your dignity and letting your personal etiquettes falter in such cases and you can't imagine what extent sometimes people feel entitled to such behavior!

It is a privilege that people wish to visit your home and want to stay with you. But often one's patience is sorely tried and it is such moments when one wonders whether the true spirit of hospitality received, is completely understood and respected by the recipient. The art of receiving love and generosity with the appropriate comprehension of its true value requires maturity, understanding and gratitude that comes with open mind.  The casual sense of entitlement with which hosts' efforts are sometimes viewed and the ability to take for granted the thoughtfulness of gestures received indicates how selfish and insular people can be when attention, care and love is showered on them.  

I feel very blessed to have family, friends and relatives who are always keen to be with us because they feel welcomed, respected and pampered. And when they arrive, my spirit within my home is on call 24/7 and I love it that way despite it being very exhaustive! I have my hair tearing moments too; but in the moments when I see nurtured energies translate into life changing spaces, it becomes greatest reward to have found a space for contemplation that holds great potential for deeper bonds. 

I have some wonderful tributes of love which are not off the shelf but have been made or found and delivered with exquisite tenderness which are result of frequent rendezvous with loved ones. There is absolutely no joy like sharing and I truly thank God to have given me such a privileged life but when my sharing, reaching out to others' needs as host and placing guests before myself or family is not understood or respected, I feel violated and my energy feels squandered. 

I wish, some people understood and respected the fact that receiving is as much an art as giving! 

The dress code is "Jodha Akbar"!!!

I was at a sangeet party, surrounded with ensemble of flashily attired people gyrating to loud Bollywood songs. I managed to grab a seat in a corner, gawking at the crazy, glittering extravaganza. The boisterous crowd seemed absolutely in sync with every beat the weird looking DJs were playing.

At such occasions, I always feel bit awkward and wait for an excuse to avoid such torture. I was hoping the hosts would arrive at the party on time so that once my presence was noted, I could leave. Just then, a distant relative in her bejeweled best, approached me, "Simi, which colour you are wearing for the party tomorrow? My Jodha Akbar dress is ready. But hey, does one cover head with dupatta in that attire?" While I expressed my complete ignorance on the subject and was on verge of getting lecture from her, mercifully, she was distracted by entourage of wedding zealots.

The dress code for the wedding party next day was "Jodha Akbar"! Oh, how could I forget that? Soon after the invitation had arrived, out of curiosity, I had relied on Google for some help but despite its 2, 38, 000 pages that promptly opened in 0.52 seconds, I was left utterly confused, exasperated and damn angry at the host for having such bizarre dress codes. Wearing dresses of kings and queens, seriously, in today’s times? What is wrong with the world (or me if I don’t get it)?  

Since last fortnight, I have attended three weddings and there are two more wedding functions to attend to next week. Don't get me wrong! Like any true Indian, I love weddings. I will be a hypocrite not to admit that I absolutely love dressing up in my finest clothes and jewelry. But I have serious issues with dressing up in a dozen different bizarre dress codes that pose genuine challenge for my sanity and aesthetic sense. 

Blame it on new money or on Indian obsession with Bollywood but the good old traditions and celebrations around weddings are becoming far too filmy and glamorous with vulgar display of wealth and insatiable Bollywood aspirations evidently visible in every part of celebrations. Sadly, in all that, the very ethos of wedding appears to be diluting.

There is a subtle transformation post liberalization which seeks recreation of fetishized version of culture and tradition, a chimerical terrain in which there are ample opportunities to explore “iconography of abundance”.

Why is there a crying need for people to ensure that everything they do needs to be rabidly screamed off the rooftop? I have absolutely no problem with unabashed indulgence and sensory overload when it comes to weddings but can't one of the most special moments like wedding be also most authentic moments, without having borrowed ideas on how they should be lived? Why can't something as intimate and poignant as two people coming together forever, be an affair where only those who truly matter, matter?