Shifting our house, yet again!

I am writing this article from our new home where we have recently moved. It is the fourth house since we shifted to Bombay and with each experience I am learning to keep calm amidst sporadic lurches that become part of such major changes. Of course, I have my share of most frustrating moments too but I guess I am doing great considering the way our house looks currently after completing one week here!

My emotions are in a bit wobbly state remembering the fabulous time and the special, beautiful memories and experiences we had in our old home. There are moments when I still miss that home and wish to go back there.

Life since past three weeks has been immensely crazy and completely disrupted. Each day has been bustling with extraordinary activities making me scatter in all possible directions and I have struggled very hard to maintain sage like patience amidst all the chaos and maddening confusion that packing, unpacking and reorganizing have entailed. 

It is interesting to see how shifting a house can make one understand a few things that otherwise go unnoticed! It is hard to see anything with clarity and objectivity when we are in middle of it and during the process of moving our house I realized to my surprise that I have been quite a hoarder! Why do we find it hard to let go of things? Wonder why is it so hard to part with something that has outlived memories, emotions associated with it? Perhaps the gap between vacating our old house and organizing our new house made me realize that maybe I am chasing more than I truly need! 

Setting up a house is very exhaustive, frustrating and yet creatively gratifying experience for someone like me who absolutely loves decorating my home. It is like having a huge blank canvas waiting to be painted! I prefer our home to be a very personal space that resonates with essence of the people living in it, even in most unstated corners.  I love my home to be inviting where people feel welcome, pampered, absolutely cozy and at ease with the spirit of our home.

I have already started receiving incessant calls from friends and relatives keenly waiting to pay us visit and check how the new house has come up but I am secretly hoping they would give me a break for few days as I can’t wait to throw my “things to do list” and run away to a quiet place for some time. I wish there is some divine intervention to make that happen, really! 

Shutterbug at Mahim Nature park

"The lines and forms are visible signs of divine gestures.  Learn to understand them and you will comprehend how God created the world.” ~ Filippo Brunelleschi (1377-1446) 

Since last few weeks, I have been sulking silently for not being able to attend any art exhibitions or weekend photography shoots due to demanding work schedule. I was secretly cursing my life, praying for some respite when I learnt about the photo walk my photography coach had planned at Mahim Nature Park. I thanked the universe for granting my wish (yeah, it actually listens!) and geared up for the shoot next day!

For me, one of the greatest rewards is to find some time alone. I love taking walks amidst Nature on early mornings and if I am with my camera, then nothing else is needed. The experience of taking walks amidst Nature is always soaked with sacred moments of deep rooted piety. There is something amazingly different about the rambling of woods and grooves that are part of this wild world which unfolds its mystery of obscure ruggedness. 

The disorder compared to the order of the garden in my building where I live, has an element of surprise. The neat and well manicured garden of my building holds exquisite infinities of peace which is fascinating but so different from what the nature park offers! The chirping of birds, slowly catching up with the new day amid the serenity of morning sounds, fragrances and rhythm is heavenly. I love to see intricate labyrinth of plants weave into one another and branches of trees bending and brushing against my face and ruffle my hair, when I pass. It is a sign of my presence being acknowledged! There is this strange equation of the quiet and the tumulous and I seem to be at perfect peace with it.

There is nothing controlled, precise, intellectual, inorganic in Nature! Everything one sees is organic, free flowing, alive, has rhythm and feels natural and right. One finds balance and harmony even in asymmetry. There is a smooth visual flow in marvellous forms, patterns, colours and textures existing in Nature and the element of design always exists in abundance!

The photo walk was great learning experience and when I returned , my frayed nerves and withered spirit were absolutely calm and there was beautiful energy oozing out of me! Perhaps that was result of the solemn tranquil moments spent at the Nature park which made me feel insignificant standing under the grand scale of abundance. The strong fragrance of some plants and flowers that lingered on me long after my return compelled me to indulge in meditative self reflection and I felt deeply cleansed and at complete peace. There was nothing more left to be achieved!

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.” 

― John Muir

"Whoever loves and understands a garden will find contentment within."

-- Chinese proverb 

This is Bombay, "meri jaan"!

Stunning architecture of CST station

Yesterday we completed ten years since me and my family shifted to Bombay. I remember friends warning me before I left from Ahmedabad, "if you live in that city for more than two years, you will fall in love with it and you would never wish to come back." I remember laughing at the remark and replying "no chance!" And here I am! After spending a decade in this stunningly beautiful city of Bombay, I admit, the prophecy of our friends has turned out to be completely true!

For many people living outside Bombay, this city is about Bollywood, a place for never-ending dreams, a land of endless opportunities. There is more to Bombay than Bollywood, overgrown slums, the dabbawalas, premier padmini taxis, vada pavs, the cutting chai, stock market,  BEST buses and fishermen.    

How does one define Bombay? It is a city of powerful contradictions! There are layers and layers to many invisible, different worlds, swirling into myriad patterns of juxtaposing and coexisting in this effervescent city that exudes such aura of power and wealth!

I remember the first macabre sight on the day of my arrival in Bombay which still haunts my mind; seeing a frail vagrant struggling to find food from a stinking garbage dump along with a dog, cow, a crow and the biggest rat I had ever seen in my life! That soul stirring sight was a great moment of epiphany for me!   

Bombay is like kaleidoscope! It magnificently alters the scene every second before you, as bits and pieces of life are reflected that shift and change, depending on where your focus is. Being a keen observer of life, I rarely miss stirring beautiful forms/images of everyday life. Even the routine life on a mundane fast paced day in this metropolis is immensely inspiring! The inhumanly crowded trains and the helpless travelers who almost appear immune to noise, smells and hardship, completely surrendering to their destiny makes one appreciate little things in life much better. 

A tiny house tumbling off a precipice, falling into a dark, unending abyss flaunting beautiful plants and pictures of Bollywood is reflection of quintessential Bombay sight. Amidst the blaring sounds, loud colours, the mass of faceless, stifling crowds, navigating through blurs of daily challenges of survival and amidst all the chaos sneaks divine fragrance of freshly bloomed flowers that signify hope/ new beginnings. From chic urbane locales, cultural places to secret, ancient hidden pockets/villages, Bombay has a lot to offer if you are willing, open and accepting of it. There is sharp contrast if you explore the city and see the less shiny innards beneath Bombay's shiny exterior and that is something I find very endearing.

It has been exactly a decade since we shifted to Bombay and there has never been a single day when I have not been awestruck by the spirit, energy and glaring contrasts of this amazing city! When I walk around the streets, the photographer in me searches for angles, and perspectives, the writer in me searches for the stories and the student of life in me searches for meaning in all that unfolds and the city always offers itself with open arms, as the ultimate Muse.

Bombay has given me so much! It has brought me closer to myself. I am fortunate to have a very blessed life but this city has made me realize my blessings and appreciate life more. It is impossible to escape ceaseless struggle of life around even from well cushioned comfort of luxury. It is unsettling to watch sea of people buzzing in and out of local trains, look at children as young as one beg on the traffic signals, come across a middle aged person who continues to struggle for that ultimate role in Bollywood even after decades or listen to the stirring tales of eunuchs if you have a moment and humanity to stop and notice their existence. It is fascinating to listen to so many rags to riches stories at almost every corner! 

It takes time to understand Bombay. There are immense pressures of rampant mayhem of urban living. We often admire realistic depiction of life in this metropolis that is romanticized in movies. But when one observes reality with such proximity, it is a different experience all together! To many, Bombay is a sardonic pastiche, a vicious cauldron of urban destitution where thousands of people migrate chasing an elusive dream of better opportunities, smitten by the swanky silhouettes.

Despite all the challenges, Bombay grows on you. There is something incredibly old and yet vibrantly alive about this city that is difficult to define. If you just stop for a moment you become part of the chaotic cacophony and can feel the pulse of the city. The nonchalant way people go about their struggle everyday and the way they take chaos around them in their stride is truly inspirational!

The eternal nomad in me keeps warning me that it is not right to be attached to any one place and that I should be as happy living anywhere under the Sun but I know deep down, I have completely surrendered to the seduction Bombay has so subtly cast upon me. 

I have no shame in admitting, I am truly, deeply and madly in love with this fascinating city of Bombay, my muse, meri jaan! 

Minding my mind

"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind" - Caroline Myss 

My friends and relatives have started complaining (again! phew!) that I have become invisible. Well, I can’t blame them. Off lately, I have consciously cut off myself from social circuit, more out of choice than any compulsion. And to tell you the truth, I love the experience. I hope they understand that I love them all and take it as one of my many whims that they always laugh at!  (I know, I am in for a big trouble, once I am out of this "phase"!) 

  

There comes a point in life when one must learn to draw a line and decide whether it is worth consuming everything from the constant high drama of life that surrounds us. And how much of it one is willing to take or deserves our attention. The constant chaos caused by never ending duties, needs, demands expectations can become exhausting and mind numbing. I have realized, few things;

1) Our minds control our life.

2) Mind matters and it is important for health and happiness. 

3) It is very important to watch out what we feed our minds.

4) One of the greatest gifts is the ability to shun the cerebral noise. 

Forgive me if I come across as too philosophical today. These days, I make conscious efforts to be aware of where and how easily my mind gets distracted and the realization is shocking! In fact, my mind intrigues me with getting consumed by things that are not important, relevant or connected to me in anyway and yet it is ticking nonstop! The big dent to the ego that really hurts badly is the knowledge in realizing we are not as smart in minding our own mind as we conveniently presume ourselves to be!

I know, It is time to for some stillness in life and it needs lot of hard work and patience!  

I guess, it is time to sit at my favourite Zen corner in our house and meditate. Or perhaps, just sit quietly without doing anything. Anything at all! Or even better, go to Pondicherry, stay there for few days, alone! Is the universe listening? I badly need it, can it make it happen ? Please?   

"Silence allows you to watch your mind and become aware of the thoughts that you may be acting on unconsciously. When you see the thoughts, you can make a conscious choice to act on the thought or change your mind, instead of going along with the noise. I have seen people who don't want to look at themselves keep going until something happens that makes them stop — a sickness or an accident — but it gives them that reflective, quiet space where they can face what is difficult in their mind. We each have a unique purpose to fulfill in this life and inklings can come in those quiet moments."

 ~Swami Radhananda 

  

The Indian election campaign tamasha, cacophony of many a roars!

Finally, voting for the Lok Sabha elections 2014 has concluded and it is such a relief to have some respite from high decibel poll campaigns that India has witnessed since last few months! 

India certainly needs a positive change from a weak government that failed to value its mandate and vote of confidence. 

Past few months have been great learning for me in understanding India and its people much better, thanks to political campaigns. My observations have left me deeply shocked and worried. 

We as nation are cacophony of many a roars. The election campaigns in India in past few months have been nothing more than slugfest; mudslinging at other political parties at deafening decibel levels sounding ominous without slightest hint at wellbeing of Nation or real issues that truly matter. I am deeply shocked by the unequivocal aggression that is omnipresent and does not tolerate any conflicting view other than which is being subscribed to and rammed down others' throat as monolith through campaign speeches that are often crude and violent in nature and lack civility completely! The political campaigns which were being showcased 24/7 with high TRP ratings on news channels are now taken over by exit polls. These programmes sound similar featuring same people and they leave the viewer exhausted, bewildered and disillusioned.

It is so convenient to blame political party/government/system for the mess we as Nation are in today but we blissfully forget our contribution towards it for the sake of our selfish needs and compulsions. It is tragic to find blatant rudeness and vitriol among people when it comes to supporting political parties of their choice. Unfortunately the thin veneers of superficial etiquettes don’t hide truth of brash insolence for long. There is a way to express irreverence which requires finesse and informed manner else it becomes too obvious what the real game is all about. It is difficult to believe vitriol on social networking sites posted by supporters of various political groups. Suddenly, there is a new breed I see emerging; the arm chair philosophers whose sole purpose is to create their own "brands" by saying things that lack proper research and create sensation showing complete disregard for judiciary and constitution! I have realized this is becoming the new dope for many people these days. 

For any democracy, it is very important to have more voices out in open to question with erudite judgment as to what is wrong with its system and participate to create necessary change and awareness. Instead, we as people have been engrossed with mudslinging rants along with media on jugglery of numbers, argued and fought with high decibel exchanges! I am really shocked by cynical views most of us seem to subscribe to these days. It is time for reconciliation on our blunders of epic proportion that made our country suffer dearly. Patriotism is not about temporary titillation of acrimonious acts of rancour. The onus is all the more on educated class, the enlightened minority to do something constructive about it instead of posting messages of hatred and spread negativity. 

As the 16^th of May drives closer and as India turns a new leaf in history of politics, I hope we, as Nation don't get driven by regressive politics of caste and creed. It is time for us to write a new narrative with vocabulary that addresses and accommodates issues that truly matter to Nation. I hope and fervently pray that the new government wears the mantle with great responsibility, humility and wisdom and takes a path of peace, growth and prosperity and makes it presence felt world over by reinstating itself with vigour and atone all the bad karma of Indian politics. Am I asking for too much? Can't help it! I am insanely optimistic!