Good bye 2011...

Its that time of the year when we look back and realize how fast the year passed! Its time to be thankful, celebrate and share all the blessings God has so generously bestowed upon us.   

There is celebration all around and for a change, everyone seems to be happy. The mood for the party has set in and I am busy planning for the same. A lot has happened in year 2011 that changed me as a person and I am thankful to life for that.

I must also thank all my friends, well wishers and readers of this blog for their wonderful support. The comments, mails and suggestions that I receive for this blog have helped me immensely to grow as a person and writer.  My heartfelt thanks for that!

Catch you in 2012 friends, with many more rendezvous with life. Till then, happy holidays and God bless you!

"I am JUST a housewife"

When Neeraja, my friend called, she was sounding very disturbed, "Simi, cancel all your appointments for tomorrow; I don't care how important they are. Just come over, I need to talk to you." "Would you teach me how to invest money like you? I need to flaunt that Goddamn business card and earn my own money." That was the first thing Neeraja said with tears in her eyes, the moment I reached her home the next day. What followed, was nothing unexpected. 


I had always sensed some dissatisfaction, a strange stirring that she suffered alone. I preferred to just listen and observe instead of intruding with probing further on the issue. Deep inside I knew, when the right time arrived, all her pain that lay buried for many years  would organically find its way out. 


Neeraja was married at age of eighteen. Being an exceptionally bright student, she qualified for IIT and had nurtured dream of a great career. Her ambition of studying at IIT was shattered when there wasn't enough money to support education of two family members. She was obviously expected to sacrifice. Albeit after few years when financial problem was resolved,  she managed to secure first class in M.Sc and did M.B.A from a premier institute!


When life presented opportunities for her to work, she could not take them due to changed priorities. Sometimes it was for the sake of children, husband's career, old parents or in laws that always required her to be around. When her responsibilities got over, her health didn't allow her to take up any job. Neeraja is exhausted by unequal sharing of burden of all these years. Despite performing all her duties in every possible role with love and utmost precision, she feels completely worthless and unappreciated!!


With a brain wash session that lasted for few hours, I managed to bring a smile on Neeraja's face when I left but our talk made me think about general attitude and mindset when it comes to housewives. I have met many women like Neeraja who are the pillars of strength for family and always perform their duties silently. Sadly, in many educated families there is condescending attitude towards a housewife. The general perception of the term "housewife" is still that of a woman who has all the time in the world but barely participates in anything constructive! Her domestic servitude is often perceived as birth right by family members!


A dear friend of mine, a very gifted person I have ever met - Mathew George, has interesting take on the issues of housewife. He says, " Approximately 50% of the population are women; a fair fraction of them, highly educated. Out of these highly educated fraction of women, a fair chunk perform the most difficult role there is; that of a housewife. The very fact that these ladies do not perform a formal job is a national waste of educated working age population. There ought to be a way of putting them back to work towards national gain. The internet provides one such way where one can perform gainful tasks without compromising on their responsibilities at home. The government, instead of giving lip service to the emancipation of women should be actually thinking up a workable strategy on how to utilize the wasted yet significant talents of this quintessentially backroom type of human being!"  


Being "just a housewife" is not a curse. It is a commendable job without whose support very many families would collapse!  It is time to respect and honour that truth! 

Inferno, the dance of death and despair

I was reading the latest news of terror attacks in Afghanistan, during Ashura mourning. The news carried a photograph of a girl barely eight, looking with disbelief, at the dead bodies strewn all around her. With her clothes drenched in blood, she was in a complete state of shock and visibly numb. Deeply pained with that sight I thought, what could be worse than a child that young having to witness such inhuman acts of violence? I was struggling hard to get that heart wrenching picture out of my mind and then arrived the shocking news of tragedy at AMRI hospital at Calcutta.

Some incidents are far too painful to comprehend! How can we justify loss of 90 precious lives, charred to death at the hospital? I stopped watching news on television as the visuals were too uncomfortable. People who went for treatment at the place that is supposed to give a new life, met with such horrible death! 

Like it happens every time after any tragedy strikes, we have a long list of reasons and flaws that are being established and blame games are changing with each passing day. There is clear  repudiation of laws and glaring neglect of safety issues by the hospital. It is shocking that even medical staff, except a very few, abandoned their patients and ran for their own safety during this grim incident.

Who all are the culprits in this episode? Hospital, for its complete disregard for certain rules and for not having a speedy evacuation program meant for the most crucial time like emergencies. Respective authorities, for allowing hospital to bend rules (suddenly, the authorities have realized that certain part of the hospital is unauthorized! I wonder how come this was not noticed and reported before the tragedy struck?) To some extent, medical staff that could have perhaps dealt with this tragedy in much better way and saved few lives. And, us. 

Yeah, we as society, are responsible in some way for this tragedy. How often do we bend rules for our convenience and take things for granted as we think everything can be purchased and fixed by money and power. We thrive in the culture of "sab kuch chalta hain". We take pride in being "smart" and "practical" (read, manipulative and corrupt). Greed and corruption are so deeply ingrained in our DNA that we have forgotten where to draw line. We are too obsessed with our own survival to care for anything wrong that is happening around us. We have learnt to ignore things that are blatantly wrong but don't affect us. Why take panga (why bother)? 

Do I need to give any example of how our system is rotting with corruption? Even a school going kid knows that one can get away with crime by offering some money. Of course, we have rules and stringent punishments for the law breakers. Is any amount of monetary compensation ever enough to make up for loss of life? 

Accidents happen. At times, tragedies occur out of sheer accidents that are beyond anyone's control. We need to ask ourselves; how comfortably numb we are going to be, consumed by our greed? How far will we continue to be mere silent spectators? NOBODY deserves to die the way people died at AMRI hospital and till such loss of precious human life continues, I doubt we can call ourselves a civilized society. 

Morning hues at the Hanging garden

I feel a constant compulsion for discovering unfamiliar territories of life. When that urge is not  satiated, there is a turmoil in my cerebrum that nudges me incessantly and my only salvation is in taking my camera, exploring new places and experiencing amazing hues of life at different levels. That is precisely what  I did yesterday. After a very long time, I went for outdoor shoot at the Hanging garden with a group; Mumbai Weekend Shoot, of which I am a member. What an amazing start for the week! 

There was much more  than the usual December pollen and the stunningly beautiful butterflies fluttering all over. What mesmerized me was the subtle unfolding of various shades of life present at the garden, that early in the morning.

While we were waiting at the entrance of the garden for all the members of the group to arrive, the day had started with languid pace at the main road. The group of bicycle riders had gathered in their interesting attires, ready to hit the road - their adventure. A roadside joint was serving fresh breakfast and had started attracting customers already.

From across the road, hurriedly came an old hawker, carrying all his wares to set up his shop before any of his competition arrived. The dog walkers, giving in to the tantrums of their dogs and allowing the passers by to play with their friendly dogs, made a beautiful sight!

The moment I entered the garden, I got to inhale divine fragrance of wet soil, soaked in fresh dew. There is this lingering urge in that fragrance that holds us silent and transforms us in tune with our inner self in some subtle, magical way that is infinitely precious. There is divine stillness that it brings along that soothes heart which is completely rejuvenating for the body, mind and soul!

A group of young people from a family were playing cricket, while the elders were confined to being fair umpires and supportive spectators.

People doing pranayam, yoga and other exercises, very senior citizens in their late seventies and eighties strolling leisurely, enjoying spilling of tender rays of Sun and the abundant beauty all around made a happy picture of a life lived well.

Magnificent trees offered shade of solace and many senior citizens grabbed the secluded places and were busy sharing stories of their life, laughter and pulling each others' legs. When they saw so many photographers, they asked many questions and some of them ebulliently suggested some nice spots worth taking pictures. They proudly narrated details of the various groups they had formed and their participation in various activities. 

Trees, full of blossom and fragrances stood with lonely grandeur and amid the brocade of leaves and flowers; birds, insects, bees and butterflies were having a blast! Looking at the sheer abundance of spectacular colours, forms, textures and perspectives I was wondering if I could ever capture all that beauty! 

I left the garden when the sunlight became too bright for the photographs. My heart was oozing out with magnificent energy. The fascinating glimpse of various stages of life and its different rhythm I observed at the garden was going to be cherished for long. I knew that I was going to return to this place again and again as just one visit to such a heavenly garden isn't enough to capture its ethereal early morning beauty!

Why this murderous rage?

What an eventful week! Two sensational news that gobbled up our time, energy and attention last week were; a song sung by Dhanush, "why this kolaveri di " and mr.Sharad Pawar, our agriculture minister, receiving a slap from enraged man! Well, in the era of serious deficiency in attention spans, anything that holds our attention long enough and makes us talk about it, is worth mentioning, isn't it? 

In my futile attempt of enjoying the song "kolaveri" I wasted few minutes and realized that it doesn't make any sense (at least to me, even after asking some of my Tamil speaking friends for help). Albeit, there is an interesting lesson to be learned in understanding how to convert an absolute gibberish into a hit, whether it was by default or by design (any PR agency, digital media marketing firm listening?)  I am sure this sudden sensation would provide quite an inspiration for advertising and song writing for the days to come and we would welcome it as "cool"! We have humongous appetite for absolute rubbish.

Talking about the slap-trap episode of mr. Sharad Pawar; I watched the entire episode with great shock and disbelief but have been guilty of enjoying brilliantly brazen humour on social networking sites, born out of this slap incident. I have laughed incessantly at unguarded comment of mr. Anna Hazare, "he slapped only once?" It makes me wonder aren't we encouraging a dangerous trend here? We are champions at mud slinging and by cheering for such acts of assault and violence we have conveyed our misplaced frustration and irresponsible, disdainful judgments. Instead of  condemning tamasha of such despicable incidents, we are getting kick out of it! Is it our catharsis? 

The people who slapped  mr.Sharad Pawar, hurled a shoe at mr. Arvind Kejriwal, attacked mr. Shanti Bhushan or assualted mr.Sukhram are NOT representatives of rage of nation. There is a pattern emerging out of these sad incidents of unease and intolerance. Agreed, our political leaders have failed us pathetically. Our country is in a huge filthy mess due to complete lack of political will to address issues of a common man. 

Before we react or justify these attacks, do we ever ask ourselves, if we are doing our bit? Who is responsible for bringing these very spineless leaders to power? How many of us have really not participated in some corruption for sake of our advantage? How many of us really vote, pay our taxes, make purchases without paying taxes or have been really aware citizens and performed our duties when we should? I am sure most of us have been guilty in some way or other. Why blame government then ? They say, people get the government they deserve and we got whom we voted for. Simple. Why this kolaveri di?

No civil society can thrive on lawlessness. If we are truly fed up with the issues of governance, lets bring in people who are good leaders and know their business well. If we are sick of corruption, let's not encourage it in any form. There are ways to address challenges but taking path of violence is not answer to any issue. And in a democratic nation like India, with its unique challenges there is all the more need to understand and address the challenges in much more responsible manner. Lets not give in to temporary titillation of acrimonious acts of rancor. Solutions to our problems lie in considering our real issues with candour and addressing them.  Its time to think, where are we headed really? 

   

"Mom, ain't I your flesh and blood angel ? "

At last, entire nation sighed with great relief, when Mrs. Aishwarya Rai Bacchan delivered her bundle of joy. Mercifully, due to Broadcast Editors Association's ten point directive, we were not bombarded with the "breaking news" on the story.

But, in a country like India, is there ever any respite from Bollywood and cricket? The social networking sites were buzzing with posts related to Aishwarya's delivery. People went berserk with new arrival in the Bachchan family! Interestingly, amid all this brouhaha, nobody even bothered to notice the shockingly increasing numbers of crib deaths. It made me reflect on how we are interested in nothing but sensation.   

Why should crib deaths interest us? There is no glamour attached to it. There is no public  participation like protests and  candle light march that would create some sensation. The news is too stark and it always happens to "poor people, out there ". We want news. We want gossip. We want endless chatter. We want entertainment. We constantly need some melodrama to shift focus from our mundane life. Who cares if the sensation comes from a Bollywood actress or a porn star entering some idiotic reality show? As long as we are entertained, receive escape from our reality, we would take it all! Crib deaths do not provide any of this. Do they? 

While media was busy carrying most "happening" baby shower party of Bollywood, hundreds of babies died due to malnutrition and complete medical neglect! We care hoots for loss of so many precious lives and bereavement of the mothers who lost their angels. We have become so smart that we have mastered the art of maneuvering our conscience according to our convenience!

It is futile depending on government to find some solution to any problem. Don't we already know the standard statement after any tragedy occurs; "it is matter of great concern and we would look in to the matter. Guilty will not be spared."  Sadly, that is the way government functions in our country. 

Forgive me, if I sound angry today. It is just that the mother in me is crying out for those babies that met most inhuman deaths. Empathy is the basic attribute for any civil society and I bemoan its complete lack in our society. 

Try seeing a picture of a mourning mother; holding her baby in her arms. Close your eyes for few seconds. Cross your heart and ask yourself a question, "is that baby any different from my very own children? Isn't she as angelic? Did she deserve to die that way?" I think, you will get what I am trying to say. 

A small wonder!

At my home, there is so much happening 24/7 that I am always whirling dervish from one thing to another and I love it that way. But sometimes it becomes very exhaustive and I have my very frustrating hair tearing moments too. When such moments arrive, I head to art galleries to find some semblance of sanity and attain solace. 


I was at art gallery some days back, admiring work of some of my favourite maestros. The paintings and sculptures were familiar as I had seen them before yet there was something  different about it. Some of the paintings were unfolding new meaning. I was just getting engulfed in that divine sense of new awareness, when I heard some commotion.


There was a boy; barely three, standing next to the desk, trying to draw a painting on the paper, specially kept for visitor artists/students of art. He was accompanied by his mother and a sibling who were keen to leave but the child was not willing. He was so fascinated by the paintings that he was determined to draw one, just like displayed on the wall, "main waisi hi painting banaunga" ("I will paint just like one on the wall") he kept saying and started drawing passionately. 

Subhaan, completely engrossed in his drawing 

There I was, witnessing an innocent, unadulterated  confluence of creativity and seminal discovery of beauty in the eyes of Subhaan (name of that boy). It was such a simple but sacred moment, containing potential to spark magic of marvel and I could already see that in divinity of his face. Subhaan was in that magical moment with totality and his eyes sparkled with hope, dream and were devoid of any frustration or fear. That is the beauty of unclouded mind that only a child till about certain age possesses. 

What impressed me most was the way Subhaan's mother handled it. She did not appear to be very educated but was very patient as she sensed that her son was experiencing something valuable which was worth and essential. She appeared little embarrassed as other visitors seemed bit disturbed with all the noise.

Subhaan, little perturbed by the clicking of the camera

Watching Subhaan brought back so many beautiful memories of my son when he was that age. I remembered how on one occasion, I had to fight with his nursery teacher for teaching that peacock was most beautiful bird. I demanded that she and the school authorities considered letting children explore concept of beauty and have freedom to define what beauty meant for them instead of stifling their aesthetic sense and creativity by enforcing perceptions about beauty and other aspects. I still remember the shock on that teacher's face when I asked her, "what if my son finds an owl or a crow most beautiful?"

Have you ever wondered, how often we miss out on simple, little moments of creativity/discovery that hold great potential for growth? There is beauty in spontaneity which is very important just like the quiet pulse beat that holds essential rhythm of life. We rush our children through life as if it is some race to win! We crush their innocence, creativity and curiosity, corrup their minds and mould them to become robots, equipped to cope with the competition and stay ahead in life. 

When I left the gallery, I was experiencing great high and was enriched by Subhaan's spirit. I prayed God that he follows his heart even when he grows big and becomes a great artist. He had all the potential in him and I had just seen its evidence.  

What a shame!!

During festival celebrations of past few days, I missed out horrible news of two murders which are enduring reminders of shocking inhumanity. In a city that never sleeps; amid all the buoyant energy that floated in anticipation of festival time, two lives were taken mercilessly, in front of a large crowd! Keenen Santos and Rueben Fernandes, were butchered while they bravely fought for the honour of their lady friends.

It was just like any other day when they got together with their buddies and went out for dinner when some hooligans passed lewd remarks for the female friends in the group. The argument  escalated beyond comprehension and within minutes, two precious lives were lost!  Every time, I look at the pictures of Keenen and Rueben, I feel terrible thinking about the trauma their friends (who were with them on the day, this tragedy occurred) and family must be undergoing. No words can ever console loss of a loved one and when death arrives in such gruesome manner, it is even harder to cope up with all the pain it entails. 


In a nation where women are subjected to atrocious acts like rape, abuse, acid attacks, burning, dowry deaths, female infanticide etc, an incident like eve teasing sounds too "routine", isn't it? None of these heinous crimes I mentioned, really shame us. We have mastered the art of conveniently ignoring this uncomfortable truth of our society. Why get involved "unnecessarily"? It is not happening to "us", isn't it ? Think again. 


While Keenen and Rueben were being slaughtered; there was a crowd of more than fifty people watching the atrocities inflicted by hooligans. Was there some entertainment show going on? How can people just watch spinelessly and do nothing to reach out to save someone's life? Even the passing vehicles stopped for some time and left! Out of all those people gathered there,  not a single soul took initiative to help Keenen and Rueben! This fact pains me as much as loss of two precious lives. 


What kind of society we are becoming? With Keenen and Rueben I witnessed death of basic humanness that connects us all. I bemoan lack of will and vigilance that any civilized society  should display and be accountable for. It is deeply saddening that we still lack the basic education in humanity.


I hope and pray that this case doesn't die out after creating sensation for media and helping them create good TRPs. I hope that we don't stop at lighting candles and protests. If we truly wish to stop the menace of eve teasing and sexual perversion/abuse, we need to STOP being silent spectators to such heinous crimes. We need to stop being afraid of getting involved with police. We need to ACT when necessary.


RIP Keenen and Rueben. I am very proud of what you did for your friends. May God grant your families and loved ones immense strength to cope up with your loss. 

Spreading smiles

Last evening, I was trying to get some rest, after whirling dervish throughout the week for Diwali celebration. The white, bulgy clouds floated in the sky and there was gentle rustle as the autumn breeze passing through the trees, flirted briefly with the leaves. I was transfixed, misty eyed with sheer abundance and slow calming of the season while the year begins to wind down. For me, autumn signifies new beginnings, renewal of intentions and the drive for change. I was contemplating on different aspects of my life and wondering if any change was needed. (I often slip in to that mode when I am alone and at peace) There was one observation that I had made during Diwali and I wish I could do something about it.


I have been to a few Diwali parties last week and one thing that got me thinking was conspicuous consumption and complete lack of moral repugnance towards waste of food, money and few other things. Each place I went to had huge spread of different courses. Half the food remained untouched and some also got wasted. When I learnt the details of the wastage, I cringed. I fail to understand that in a nation like ours where we have deaths due to starvation, how can we allow such criminal wastage? There is nothing wrong in being indulgent and hosting lavish parties but wasting food is absolutely unpardonable. There are so many places where one can give away food, why throw it? 


During Diwali and festival times, people receive so many gifts that sometimes they don't know what to do with them. One of my friends told me how difficult it was to accommodate all the gifts in her two bedroom house. When I suggested her to consider giving some of the gifts to less privileged people, she seemed little shocked. "They are gifts and so many emotions are attached to them" was the logic given to me. Agreed, but one can at least give away some old stuff to find space for the new. Why are we so greedy about holding on to things? 


I understand how painful it is to part with so many beautiful things and if they are carefully chosen for us it becomes emotionally difficult. But, instead of stashing them away for "future use" or "special occasions" why not donate them to some orphanage or old age homes? Over the years, I have conveyed my family and friends not to spend mindlessly on gifts for me. I had to meet fervent opposition initially but they soon realized that I would be happier if they spent their money on someone in need instead of blowing it on buying me some exotic stuff that matches my taste. 


Festivals are not always about buying things. They are about being thankful for one's blessings and sharing them. It is only from people who are much blessed, more is expected. There is absolutely nothing wrong in enjoying one's blessings and being indulgent to the core. But, at no point, one can forget that while we fret over our "problems" like; which interesting cuisines to include or which exotic wines to serve while inviting over people for parties, there are millions of people who haven't had a meal even during the festival days. 


Happiness, they say, is doubled when shared and there is no joy like bringing smile on someone's face. I believe in it completely! 

Happy Diwali!!!

It is Diwali time and in few hours, my house will be filled with family and friends. Within moments of their arrival, there will be huge doses of laughter triggered by nothing really particular. Once we are done with flaunting our new garments, jewelry and other stuff, it will be the time for mad conversations that range from ragging each other to serious, in your face conversations on varied topics and our funny bones would be in overdrive mode, as usual. The beauty is, all this happens in such organic manner that it feels like some magic act that keeps everyone enthralled!

Frankly, I am not in mood to write much today as I am so excited to look forward to this gathering. Such interludes always nurture energies that sometimes translate into spaces of contemplation and realization; my greatest reward for spending so many hours in kitchen and making elaborate meals! And like it happens every time, the complete foodies would indulge in their devotional act of gluttony while the rest of us would enjoy watching them struggle between finding pleasures of renunciations and nirvana in a sheer circle of plate! There would be fervent proclamations about "light bite" and after indulging mindlessly, some of them would vouch for complete detox post Diwali. 

There is so much fun in store that I just cant wait!!! At the risk of sounding abrupt, let me sign off now, amid the crazy sounds of fire crackers all around. I wish all my readers, friends and family a very happy Diwali. Wishing you all the happiness, life has to offer this Diwali and always. God bless!!!

A creepy invasion!

It was one of those days when sometimes, for no apparent reason anything goes right. The maids remained absent without any prior notice and while I was struggling precariously with manic morning demands, the neighbour came wearing sad expression of helplessness and pleaded me to baby-sit her two years old boy for half an hour. Her highness, conveniently returned at lunch time smiling hideously (I secretly wished at that very moment that a few murders were legally allowed!) When I went out, I didn't get a single green signal at any traffic point and none of my work got done. I soon realized, it was just not my day and rushed back home.

There I was; angry, upset, extremely tired, irritable and desperately in need to crash in my favorite chair and listen to some good music. When I entered my room, something bizarre happened that freaked me completely. There was a weirdo on my bed; scattering its legs around the pillows and cushions!! The distance between me and the cold blooded intruder was barely few feet. I became numb with panic while the creepy creature was basking on my bed; unaffected with my presence, bobbing its head, inflating its dewlap, puffing its body and its protruding scary eyes warning me, "Don’t mess with me, babe". It was evident, the Chameleon, had taken over my room and was in no mood to give up its new found fortress. 

When it changed its colour and made a surprisingly swift movement towards my dressing table, I shuddered incessantly and with clenched fist and smeared face I yelled (it was not even close to whisper actually)," Simi, run"! But I was too horrified, as if transfixed under some spell. It took me a while to get back to my "Zaansi ki raani" avatar. 

I wondered how the Chameleon got in my room and noticed an open window that is closer to the garden. The garden, with huge tress like Asoka, Mango, Badam (Terminalia catappa) Parijat, Frangipani serves as perfect tavern for many a tenements and is a melting pot for many alien creepy crawly empires. I have witnessed so many ongoing scuffles for survival from my bedroom window. Some creatures manage to scamper away before any bird or Chameleon reaches them. 

I gathered courage and after a few unsuccessful trials, managed to drive away the Chameleon. I laughed at myself for acting silly and giving myself that harrowing time when I could have easily kept calm and shooed away the creep at the very sight of it. Blame it on a childhood memory of experiencing the horror of watching a lizard tail on the floor, wriggling frantically despite being detached from its body, at a friend's house. Ever since, I go bonkers at the sight of any creepy crawly. 

I made myself a nice cup of coffee and went to my favourite spot- the window. The scary creature was on the Badam tree trunk, in a joyous mood as if playing hide and seek with me and saying,"gotcha"! I grabbed my camera and thought of capturing that naughty intruder. When I looked at it, I noticed what a colourful, beautiful creation God had made! I smiled and was happy for the first time during entire day.  

Durga Puja, Mishti Doi and some flavours of life!

I am fortunate to have had a childhood that was rich with exposure to different religions. When religious, geographical and cultural boundaries transcend and festivals are celebrated by different communities with gaiety and devotion, there is a beautiful, infectious energy in air! I just love to be soaked in that lovely energy, completely!  

Maa Durga, embodiment of Shakti, (strength) with Ganesha, Saraswati and Laxmi

Festivals provide amazing interludes from the daily grind and grant us joy of finding hope; which is becoming increasingly rare, in our urban, metropolitan existence that sometimes appears to be nothing but a cruel joke! These interludes are marvelous respite and often introduce me to new spaces of thinking; a delightful wandering that I truly revel. 

Symbol of victory of good over evil  

One of my favourite festivals is Durga puja. Despite the commercial aspect in festival celebrations; at Durga Puja, the major attraction for me is, witnessing remnants of tradition in form of "Dhunuchi naach" and watching dhakis (drummers) perform their art with great devotion. One more attraction is, of course, indulging in Mishti Doi and other Bengali sweets WITHOUT any iota of guilt! 

Traditional Dunuchi dancer performing his naach and the Dhakis

This year though, I could not go pandal hopping and had to be content with only one visit to Durga Puja. Albeit, I was immensely rewarded by the sheer confluence of varied images of life! I just let my senses fill congruent assortment of interesting hues of life, throbbing at the Puja pandal. There was ethereal beauty to all the chaos that was transpired every moment. So much was happening around that it was like moment to moment horizons reverberating with peaks, interspersed with incantation, creating fascinating splendour!  

Performers playing different traditional, musical  instruments 

The newly weds, young couples with newly born babies, middle aged people with children and extended family and friends and even old people, all connected in their earnest prayers and requests, in some divine way, rejoicing in worship. It was a treat watching women flaunting their traditional family heirlooms!

A Dhaki, in his traditional, vibrant  attire

I had to struggle to take photographs as there was so much crowd that many times I even got pushed but considering all the fun I had at the Puja and the mishti, it was worth it. When I returned, there was flood of positive feelings. All the chaos I had witnessed at the Puja had somehow transformed into euphonic whole and I was at complete peace with myself.

Dhaki, playing with religious fervour

Angels of lesser God

I was driving for a meeting, listening to music and planning things for the day in my mind and suddenly saw a child frantically running towards me amid the maddening traffic. He was waving at me, asking me to stop. I realized it was Ajay, one of the children whom I have befriended near D.N. Nagar traffic signal, Andheri. Despite the angry honking, I managed to stop the car by the road side. Within seconds, Ajay darted towards me gasping for breath. I sensed something different about him. The usual naughty smile and the chirpy demeanour, were missing and he looked sullen.

I asked him what was the matter but he was quiet, as if struggling to find words. When I put my hand across his shoulder, he held my hand, looked in my eyes and said, "didi, kaal ratri maza baap mela"(my father passed away last night). It was futile trying to pierce through cold horizons of his eyes. After a few moments of silence, with his fingers firmly entwined into mine, he narrated his experience of watching his father die before his eyes. I became numb with a lump in my throat and my foggy eyes were threatening to start avalanche of tears. How does one console a grief stricken child, barely ten, in such a condition?  

While Ajay was narrating his experience, I realized, for him his father- a drug peddler, was almost a non existent figure even while he was alive! It was barely a month when Ajay had lost his thick buddy, Ganesh and had shared that shocking news with me in similar manner. Ganesh, was like any other nine year old child; full of mischief, laughter and eyes brimming with hope. His ambition was to start business when he grew - have a "thela" (a road side shop) and be master of his own destiny. Sadly, he fell ill and within days, succumbed to the illness.

Most of the children, whom I have befriended, are victims of dysfunctional families, parental neglect, physical and/or sexual abuse, family substance abuse, violence and are settled with pavement community (living on sidewalks, in parks or empty plots) and are always at risk of catching disease, starvation and abuse. They struggle for survival alone despite having their families. Many are lost in this chaotic urban sprawl, a terrifying place for them to live.

In 2000, the government passed the Juvenile Justice Act, which outlines the rights of children and mandates the government to work with NGOs to address the problems of homeless children. There are many people working in this field and doing truly commendable work. But looking at the number of street children I wonder is it enough? 

I spent some time with Ajay, met his grieving mother and family at the roadside pavement and left for my meeting with heavy heart.  I felt terrible thinking about if I had done enough for Ganesh. Wasn't I guilty of feeling that I had done my job once I paid for his medicines? It is not practically possible to help every single child like Ganesh, in need. But had I been little more involved, perhaps I could have saved a life! And that thought is haunting me as I can't forget Ganesh's innocent face, the naked truth of vicious poverty. My heart is screaming silently. All I need is someone to hug me tight! Would God ever forgive me? 

Smelling roses

At times, life becomes very difficult to bear. No matter how content we might be with our respective life; the tragic incidents that have become everyday occurrences engulf us so deeply that one needs to strive hard to hold on to some semblance of optimism. Political unrest, terrorist attacks, earthquake, plane crash, road accidents, murders, scams ...how much can one take and still act as if nothing affects us really? At times, it is difficult to love life when we see so much pain and suffering around. 

Since last few days, I was making a conscious effort to avoid watching news on television,  reading newspapers or magazine or allow any negative news to affect me. Perhaps, I had reached a threshold point but God seemed to have realized it, as he keeps sending me signals that would help me revive my faith in goodness and appreciate all the blessings life has so generously bestowed upon me. 

  


Day before yesterday, I was driving on my usual route and at the traffic signal, a tiny toddler gifted me bunch of roses! " Didi, ye aapke liye" (for you, sister) he said, with a smile that could melt any soul and before I could even thank him, he sprinted back to his sister. Driving that day, was much pleasant experience thanks to the lovely fragrance of roses and the warmth attached to it that lingered on my mind and heart. Those kids could have easily sold those roses and earned some money for which they struggle so hard! The divinity of joy in their smiles; when they waved at me from across the road, their innocence and purity of their soul made me feel as if I met God! 

When I returned home that day, my inbox had a pleasant surprise! A dear friend had sent me a beautiful mail saying how much our friendship was valued. We always know that we are liked, respected and loved but sometimes it feels great to hear those words too! 

Since my mother passed away, I don't like to visit hospitals as they remind me of some saddest memories of my life. But when I went to the hospital yesterday, it was for a different reason. I met a dedicated doctor and his team working hard  for creating awareness and treat patients of Spina Bifida. It feels so good to meet people who go out of their way to contribute and create some change. 

Such incidental encounters are constant reminders, what a privileged energy life is. Sometimes, life will play different tunes. At times, it will make us cry or even will silence us with tragic events and make us realize sheer absurdity that is much beyond our control. It depends on us whether we transform that silence into a magical melody that is infinitely precious and sing our songs or choose to be overpowered by it. Pain and happiness are the two sides of the same coin. We must learn to accept both realities in our stride and keep nurturing energies that hold potential of transformation. 

Life is the most precious gift. Accepting its various facets and keeping our focus on our blessings and living each day well, is the most sacred way of worshiping God. I think, we should never miss out on smelling roses!

Surviving terror attacks

My last week's article, "They did it again", generated some interesting responses on social networking sites where I share my link and I received a request from a regular reader of this blog, Dr.Pulak Parag. To quote his exact words, "Do suggest some practical solutions that a common man is able to offer. I am sure there are plenty of ways in which we can correct ourselves before we blame the government." 

True, we accuse the government for lack of comprehensive strategy, political will and spine to combat terrorism but there are so many ways in which we can contribute too, but don't! So, here are a few suggestions that can be considered and implemented and are very easy to follow. 

1) Accept terrorism as reality and not just events that we always read about in newspaper and watch on TV/net.

2) Be extra alert while travelling, renting properties, hiring people and  check the background of people with whom we deal in our personal/professional spheres.

3) Train ourselves to deal with unique challenges that arise at the time of terrorist attacks. Focus of the training should be, first aid training, basic security measure training,  learning survival skills...etc. Also, participate in spreading the awareness on how to save other lives at the time of such attacks.

  

4) NOT succumbing to the greed for the sake of money/convenience/favour/religious compulsions. Terrorists always depend on local support and typically, people who fall prey to terrorists' plans and end up helping them directly or indirectly are the ones who concede to such greed.

5) Be responsible and inform police about anything/anyone suspicious. It doesn't take much time to inform police (it is high time to get rid of the mindset of, "why get involved with police").

6)  Be responsible in passing news and exercise restrain which is crucial at such challenging times. 

7) Create teams of volunteers who are trained and skilled in handling the calamity and the aftermath, in every possible town/cities.

8) Keep numbers of hospitals /blood banks/ doctors accessible.

9) Making children and senior citizens aware and train them to face such events as they are very vulnerable in such times.

10) NOT be biased about any particular community in our actions, mindsets and behaviour.

11) Learning how NOT to be provoked by panic and provoke others with hysterical frustration and vulnerability. This is very important in minimizing further damage. Stop watching sensational news covering terrorists attack as it doesn't serve any purpose and over period of time, grows on our psyche. Instead, get the prerequisite information, think how we can contribute and do the needful. 

12) Always support local authority in maintaining law and order instead of hampering police work by flocking at the site of terrorist attack, as if it is some tourist spot!

13) Try to refrain from participating in any discussion that can lead to strong reactions/comments that propagate hatred for any country, community or society. Human kind has suffered immensely due to malevolent disease of hatred, prejudice and judgment. Strong emotions like hatred can breed alienation and division which can sometimes lead to terrorism.

14) Vote for the right candidate. It is inappropriate to think that all people in politics are bad. If you don't like the options available, help bring/support some good people in politics. We need educated, committed, capable and truly secular people in politics. Let's try to  do our bit instead of cribbing about corrupt politicians. Remember, it is us, who vote for them and bring them to power.

15) There are a very few people subscribing to terror but a whole big world completely AGAINST it and fighting to combat it. Should we be intimidated by terror and allow the terrorist to create fear; which is their basic purpose or REFUSE to give in and learn to deal with the agony, do the needful, move on and be stronger in our mind and spirits and unite to fight this global challenge? Think and make your choice.

I’m sure there is lot more we can do as citizens and I might have missed out on many things. Why don't you chime in your suggestions? Let's not forget that each single opportunity of us being saved from terrorist attack is a life's reminder that it is time to learn from our tragedies, grow, heal our wounds and face each new day with a smile and determination and make new beginnings.

Life is a very precious gift. Let us not take it for granted.