Picking up life from where I left

Writing articles for this blog is the first thing that disappears from my radar when life becomes too demanding and leaves me absolutely frazzled! I have barely written on this blog, mostly due to pressures on my time and energy.

And then there are moments of self doubt. "I have lost touch" I tell myself staring blankly at the screen while words jumble in my mind teasingly!

 

“What do I write about?” I’m shocked at my own self for having that question in first place as there are so many things I wish to write about (and believe me, I often end up writing articles in my mind while doing some random work at the oddest place and time).

Those of you who read this blog regularly know I lost my mother in law to Cancer few months back. Life is slowly getting back to the routine that prevailed before we were faced with this tragedy. 

As a primary caretaker of my mother in law for almost three years, I have learnt great deal about life, human beings and relationships. It was a physically, emotionally and mentally most exhausting period of my life that changed me as a person. More than the physical exhaustion it is shocking realisation of some harsh truths about life and frailty of human relationships that shook me completely. 

It is amazing how death teaches us about life, we tend to ignore otherwise.  

Nursing patient of life threatening disease with serious psychiatric issues can take a huge toll creating negativity, causing havoc in one's life. One needs to disconnect completely and create healthy detachment from the inner circus that keeps drawing back attention to emotional wounds that bleed, seethe making one vulnerable, angry and helpless. 

Past few months I have consciously tried to take a step back and reconnect with my core, listening to my body, mind and spirit. 

In these last months of conscious solitude, I have rediscovered myself layer by layer and have realised, there is much more to life than sum total of our experiences, relationships, aspirations, achievements, hurts, failures and many more things that we so routinely get weighed down by. 

There is calm that this solitude has granted me and I am all set to pick up life from where I had left it, some time back.