Why are we verbose on social networking sites

We, human beings have inherent need to share and connect with other fellow human beings. "Man is by nature, social animal..." said Aristotle. 


We are sharing and connecting with world like never before! The unique, convenient communication tool of various social networking sites is at our service helping us reach out to the world. It is amazing how we are able to find likeminded people and form deeper connections. There is a sense of belonging and it is easier to reach out to others at click of the mouse. 


Our interpersonal relationship and need for communicating with the world has changed drastically. Our relationship with the world seems much more direct, open and engaging. After closely observing and participating in interactions and connecting with many people from diverse backgrounds on social networking sites for quite some years, I have noticed that we are sharing far too much in virtual world and it is certainly, much more beyond meeting our inherent need to share and connect. The question is why are we so verbose on social networking sites? 


With so many avenues open for talk and express views, we have suddenly found a voice and we sometimes get a false notion of being listened to. There have been many instances when I have been utterly shocked by the content shared on Facebook, Google plus or twitter. A social networking site plays role of a sanctuary, where friends, loved ones and our extended circle can connect and create a cozy microcosm. But even within that little world there are things that are too personal in nature to be shared with anyone. Why are we unabashedly making our lives public, I wonder? What makes us keen to broadcast every minute detail of our life on a public platform is a matter of interesting study. 


Behind our carefully crafted personae; there is a human being, seeking attention. Some of us are little more desperate than others. We want novelty from our mundane life. We wish for camaraderie, distraction, recognition, acceptance, feedback, validation and even love! Ever thought about what are we conveying through our status messages and comments?


We are talking about all kinds of subjects from God, politics, art, literature, movies, theater, music, children, love , marriage, universe etc. and it is indeed wonderful! Most of the comments people write are very appropriate, scholarly and extremely elegantly written. Perhaps, some of them can be considered even the best written comments on the subject! Each person behind that comment is extending his/her consciousness to the discussion as he/she needs that intellectual/emotional/sentimental stimulation to connect with people from his/her self-created microcosm. We want discussion, chatter, gossip and convey we are "alive ' and that our existence really matters in thousand different ways. There is this bittersweet narcissism about it. 


When I sometimes read incessant status/comments on Facebook/Google plus/ twitter and see the photographs shared, I am tempted to tell people, "PLEASE get a life!" I am not setting myself above the fray. Most of us have experienced that state of going overboard on social networking sites but mercifully come back to our senses.


What we need to understand is that Social networking sites can sometimes deprive us of our solitude without offering us companionship. Sadly, that is too steep a price to pay and absolutely not worth it. 


Sometimes, its great to honour silence methinks. 

Bonded, in virtual world !

We live in amazingly interesting times! Information and communications are rapidly becoming very basis of almost everything we do. Every part of our life is spread out across digital world creating a complex, layered tapestry. The society that emerges out of it is much more personalized, having a built in environment, changing realities and shaping our life every single day at much faster pace. Is it possible to imagine a place where we can't be instantly and constantly connected to rest of the world? We get restless with the very thought of being disconnected from the virtual world, even for few minutes.


I often see children barely three or four, playing games on Mobile phones/computers/laptops. They may not have yet learnt to write but they can maneuver these gadgets with great ease. It is interesting to note how when children in their formative years, have access to globally connected world, readily available with infinite information on every possible subject, what profound impact it has on the way they perceive and engage in real world.  


Have you observed the conversations that take place during social gathering or formal meetings? The conversations are invariably drawn to sharing information/photos/videos, new applications on social networking sites and mobile phones. Virtual world is playing critical role in defining our environment and intensely evolving understanding that subtly permeates deeply in our sensibilities. It is fascinating how our individual experiences, expressed through diverse intricate media, establish new paradigms at personal, professional, social and cultural levels; having great impact on every sphere of our life in fundamental way. 


The most interesting part of this evolution is a society sans any geographical boundaries; a community with myriad, dynamic influences on the very basic contours within which we make sense of the world around us. It is a place where perfect strangers connect expanding orbit of their real life and it almost feels real. 


Media cohorts, world over are having sleepless nights understanding and tapping this ever changing, burgeoning niche world with immense potential. My main concern is finding and maintaining balance between the virtual and real world with its rapidly diluting divide.  We are witnessing a breakthrough and the magnitude of information that is being shared on social networking sites and the manner of it, portrays remarkable social changes. We need to ask ourselves, how much of virtual world should we allow to permeate in our real life? It is time to contemplate if by staying constantly connected to virtual world are we getting disconnected in real life? 


I have made some interesting observations on social networking sites but more on that topic, in my next article. Till then, have a wonderful week!  

Quiet riot by the night

I am confined to complete rest since last few days. Call it self-imposed punishment for all the torture I inflict upon myself by ignoring warning signs of pains and aches of fatigue that emerge from every single cell of my body, threatening to revolt from time to time. 

It is almost a week since I surrendered to complete rest and my heart is already trying to seduce me to go back to zillion things that I love doing. The huge dent on my ego is when my body fails to keep up with the pace of my heart and spirit. Witnessing that constant struggle is quite an eye opener!

Days glide languidly into nights. I catch fleeting naps before daylight drenches Bombay skies again. I am awake mostly at nights till wee hours and that is a HUGE challenge for me. Silence and stillness of the night comfortably slip into rhythm of my house while I keep tossing endlessly to get some sleep, in vain.    

On some nights, past few cups of green tea or coffee, I look outside the window listening to creaks and sighs that break the silence. A scratchy sound of the plane flying high or dogs from far across the street, trying to settle their scores with barks and snarls, appear to be only a temporary distraction.   

It is strange I am not able to enjoy reading or watch TV despite having so much time at my disposal. There are some private spaces of memories that emerge unannounced and are unwilling to leave creating riot that makes me more fragile.  

I light a candle and Amber incense from Aurovile that engulfs my room with its tender light and fragrance. The illuminated Buddha sculpture provides some company with its tranquil vibes. I am soaked into its powerful energy and try to meditate. The magical fragrance of Champa, Mogra and Madhumalati flowers wafts through my windows. I feel serene and realize I am much more than my physical body.

I wonder, if I have scored enough spiritual brownie points to be with Buddha in heaven!   

Exercising our franchise

The "maximum city" of India, Mumbai, had civic elections last week. The voter turnout was meager, 45%. The richest civic body in India, the financial hub of the country and the absence of voters in such large numbers makes the predicament difficult to comprehend. What happened in Mumbai last week in the civic election is often seen in many other parts of the country during several elections. Why are we Indians so callous about our right of voting?


I interacted with some people who had preferred to stay home/go for movie/shopping instead of voting and the varied, enervated responses I received were, "I am too lazy and tired of going out and wait in the queue and go through the rigmarole of voting procedure. It is a holiday, why waste time on voting that does not make any difference to our life." "What difference does my one vote make?" "All the candidates are equally bad and I don't like any of the political parties either." "All parties are corrupt and politicians care hoots about common people like us." Every time, I listen to such lackadaisical, cliched remarks, I cringe and am deeply saddened! I bemoan lack of will to adhere to our civic duty and responsibility of voting.


The excuses mentioned above are from people who often complain about corruption, atrocious governance and bad politicians yet when it comes to bringing change, they shy away. No matter how justified peoples' anguish and frustration is, it makes no sense to abstain from voting. For any democracy, it is very important to have more voices out in open to question with erudite judgment as to what is wrong with its system and participate to create necessary change and awareness.


The frustration regarding profile of some candidates and ideologies of political parties is a huge challenge to cope with. I voted for the candidate who belonged to the political party whose ideology I don't agree with. The only reason I opted for it was that the candidate was highly educated while most of the candidates were barely educated and some even had criminal records. Constitution gives us right not to vote for any of the candidates under section 49(0). That way, we can reject candidates and bring better, deserving candidates. 


Change can't be brought with some magic wand. We need to do our bit in creating change that we all are so eagerly awaiting for. 


"Democracy is not something you believe in or a place to hang your hat but it's something you do. You participate. If you stop doing it, democracy crumbles." Abbie Hoffman 




  

Beneath the vibrant hues

The Kala Ghoda Arts Festival ended yesterday. I attended it several times during last nine days and I feel a great creative high and am transformed, inspired and profoundly energized! There are so many things to share but one of the best things that I witnessed was avalanche of tales that emerged subtly from most unexpected spheres. Some events pose very interesting opportunities that create situations compelling us to visit spaces never visited before and give us completely different perspective about life! 

This year, the entrance of Kala Ghoda Arts festival was flocked by hawkers, mainly women, huddling for some space for their interesting products and its equally interesting display. I had noticed these stunningly beautiful women from the very first day of the festival. They were often seen struggling with policemen who were trying to drive them away. It was obvious they had not taken any official permission to sell their products on the premises and I often noticed them united while sharing torments; whether it was fighting, cajoling and even manipulating the local authorities to allow them to do their business.

I hesitantly started to build rapport by interacting with them when they were not surrounded by customers and were laughing and sharing jokes. It was their raw, enchanting beauty and breathtakingly beautiful sense of dressing that drew my attention initially but in the process of our several encounters, I discovered their sensitive, intense and very vulnerable emotions of piercing agony that had festered and was breeding, making a cozy home within.  
   

The outcome of my interactions with them was a sardonic pastiche, a vicious cauldron of urban destitution. Like thousands of people who migrate to Mumbai chasing an elusive dream of better opportunities, these women hailed from different parts of the country. Most of the times, their husband or the patriarchal figure in the family was not seen around but their invisible hold was difficult to miss.  

The challenge I face whenever I come across such people is striking a delicate balance and  capturing their photographs without intruding their personal space. I am not interested in mere snapshots but also want to know about their real life where a complex human drama unfolds as the backdrop. Catching up their life stories that unfold strand by strand and understanding their challenges for survival is always deeply inspiring experience. 

Far too often for these women, struggle for the everyday existence turns ugly. Beneath their painstakingly nurtured inscrutable personae lie layered insecurities, aggression, inadequacies and deep pain of alienation. Their everyday life involves physical, mental and emotional abuse from their family members, local goons, Police or even from other dispossessed inhabitants just like them who compete to outpace everybody, in the race for survival. The desire to stay ahead of others is so potent that it doesn't matter if they steal, scavenge or beguile their way through life. Some of these women manage to find respite in temptations of this ravenous metropolis, some get lost over period of time and some really thrive very well despite all the odds!

It is amazing how these beautiful women have smartened due to their urban existence. Their love for life, despite all its problems is evident in the way they dress and the dreams they have for themselves and their families.  I gravitated to these powerful, beautiful women because they are much more REAL than many of us. These are the kind of people whom we see every day at many places but barely notice. Behind vibrant personae and attires of these women lie many layers of human emotions so easy to relate for anyone. 


Meeting these amazing women was very rewarding experience. I know I am going to meet them again for some more rendezvous.