Where has our conscience disappeared?

"Be safe", I say nervously to my son, who is leaving for his college, holding him bit longer than usual in embrace. It is a matter of few hours when he would be home but I am bit restless. That anxiety is uncalled for but it happens every time I learn about tragic events of terrorist attacks in any part of the world. 

I struggle really hard to stay away from writing about events that involve violence and human rights violation because such incidents are extremely painful to cope with, emotionally draining and their impact is too deep to shrug off and carry on with life as if nothing has changed just because I am not affected by it! There is a deeply disturbing trend of cult of hatred becoming a global epidemic endorsed by religious extremists. 

What kind of people, don't flinch before committing heinous, barbaric sins of taking innocent lives? What kind of religion endorses killing in name of its God and honours the culprits as martyrs/heroes? I fail to understand logic behind any religion that demands people from other religions to be killed! It is difficult to fathom politics of hatred that makes inhuman acts of violence not a regrettable necessity but the whole point and make people who subscribe to their ideologies, barbaric savages. With high stakes invested in terrorism, it has become a new currency to establish religious, political and economic power games for global domination. 

The photograph of the dead child's face in the coffin that many photographers documented in recent Peshawar terrorist attack symbolizing the horror of butchered innocent lives of 132 children, is still on my mind giving me sleepless nights!

The photographs, media covering of the Peshawar attacks would remain just an archival data for those who dispense justice. The candle marches, protests, signature campaigns, angry intellectual debates, political blame games have already started waning as other headlines have taken over the eye balls. The calls for world to unite strongly and decimate those "inhuman species" out of our life" are getting feeble. We are done with discussions at the cocktail parties of how Peshawar attacks are "a rude awakening to the perils of religious fanaticism". We would soon forget about this gruesome tragedy, the pain will dilute or remain just a sad memory till such tragedies occur in our own backyard. 

Yeah, we still remain savage as a race bereft of any conscience and this realization is making it difficult to have faith in humanity any more.  

"There is no flag large enough to cover shame of killing innocent people." Howard Zinn. 

Will Indian media learn investigative reporting Mr.Arnab Goswami? The Nation needs to know!

There is a lot to talk about as so many controversies kept buzzing on print and digital space when I was away from this blog past few weeks. But one controversy that boggled me and stood out amidst all the sensation in media was the recent video of two sisters from Rohtak, thrashing up two men for alleged sexual assault while travelling in a bus! Needles to say, it went viral within seconds and what followed was nothing new but yet another proof that Indian media has lost the plot completely. 

Soon after the above mentioned video went viral on social media and the news channels jumped the conclusions declaring the sisters as "brave hearts", the Haryana government announced to honour the two sisters on the occasion of Republic day. And like it always happens, the incident triggered spontaneous ire from women rights activists, with National Commission for Women chairperson Lalitha Kumarmangalam asking the authorities to take appropriate action against the accused. Nothing wrong with all this, if the said video narrates truth and the story has been checked for authenticity before broadcast. The day after this sad incident, there were twists in the tale where a few video clippings and statements of the eye witnesses putting a big question mark on credibility of the "victims".  

The impudence and superficiality of Indian media seems to have taken toll on independent, resourceful and honest journalism. The saddest part is that it is losing its credibility in its chase for "being first to present the news". The Indian media is sadly turning into instant views churning machines without taking pain of doing relevant homework. Watch any news channel and it seems courts have shifted to media with carefully crafted rhetoric and curators of the speeches by Mr. Arnab Goswami and his clan playing role of prosecutor, jury and judge; pronouncing judgments on 24/7 breaking news, setting a very dangerous precedent. The real amusement in this whole charade is the notion of "we are cleaning up the system by purging it of rot," which in reality turns the media into lynch mob inciting anger and instigating people. Oh and nothing can work as effectively as virtuous anger for TRP! And there is always a stiff competition to appear "socially responsible". Facebook, twitter, re-tweets, +1, signature campaigns and candle lit march/walks....oh, there are multiple options these days to find catharsis for our collective conscience. 

Outrage and zero tolerance for any crime are the first steps towards creating awareness about serious issues that we, as Nation are facing. The way to address them is by participating in constructive discussions and working towards finding real solutions. In cases like Rohtak sisters, the media coverage came across as biased, inadequate, sensational, inaccurate, unfair, misleading, irresponsible and damaging. The approach of the coverage reminded me of blood thirsty hounds! Can we stop losing our balance and learn to be careful about not punishing the innocents please?

We, as Nation can't allow Mr. Arnab Goswami and his fraternity to use weapon of trial by media and flash it as medals of distinction! My concern over this growing frenzy is that we could end up sabotaging power of media which is crucial for any healthy democracy. I hope Mr. Arnab Goswami takes a pause from his theatrics of strutting and screaming and for a change listens to what he has been saying/doing all this while. Will Indian media learn investigative reporting Mr.Arnab Goswami? The Nation needs to know! 

Looking for light at end of the tunnel

It has been a while since I had time to post my weekly articles here. I have never missed a single post in all these years since this blog was started and believe me, I feel sad that other priorities of life have taken over and left me with no choice. Sometimes, extraordinary circumstances compel us to shuffle our priorities and it is better that we don't mess with what life demands.  

It is interesting how often I keep writing articles in my mind from the most unthinkable places or in midst of bizarre situations. This post comes to you straight from the hospital where most of our last three months have been spent due to my mother in law's cancer. 

This is yet another stressful evening. I take aimless walks in the corridors outside the ICU, look at the unusually overcast, grey sky from a distant window with my sullen eyes. My mother in law is out of yet another surgery and taken to ICU. She suffered a mild heart attack post surgery. I wonder how much suffering life still has in store for her!

Last evening, as I sat beside her; listening to her yet another session of never ending tales, I witnessed scroll of a long life of seven and a half decades! Life full of tales of brave triumphs, struggles, guilt, bitter admissions, resentments for unfulfilled dreams and above all, a life that despite all the oddities, struggling to hold on to hope which seems to be losing by each day. Her fragile body and mind suffering with psychiatric problems fight to stay agile and relevant in the last lag of life. Have you ever observed, life has completely different meaning when one faces death in its eye? 

Past few months have also changed the dynamics within the family. When tragedy strikes, that happens very often. Some bonds strengthen further and some collapse opening one's eyes to shocking truths about relationships. In last three months, we have been subjected to ruthless scrutiny, insensitive, intrusive remarks by some people leaving us saddened in this tough time when we need moral support from everyone who truly care for us.

Inflicting pain seems to be uniquely human trait because in Nature, creatures kill one another for the sake of food, dominance or territory. Why do we do it? Why do we stand by and watch others passively while they suffer and add to their pain and attain joy out of it?

It has been months since me and my family stopped doing anything that we usually do on a normal, routine day. Ah, the very thought of being able to spare some time for Sunday brunch/movie/art exhibition/spa, relaxing at home, calling friends over or visiting them or just all of us spending a languid Sunday doing absolutely nothing in particular and still having fun  etc seems a very distant possibility! 

Sometimes, weight of love and duty is too much to bear! I am already on the brink, waiting for some respite, looking for some light at end of the tunnel.

We never know what the next moment holds for us

The hospital offers a myriad mélange where boundaries and identities whittle down to weight of suffering one carries along. Walking through the corridors of huge hospital can be an eye opener, especially if one is visiting cancer or other life threatening disease wards. 

I am waiting outside a psychiatrist's clinic who is seeing my mother in law, suffering with depression and mild dementia. The doctor is suspecting advance bipolar disorder which he feels is triggered by her surgery for cancer.  

My mother in law who has always been a very strong lady looks fragile and vulnerable, struggling to cope up with the physical and serious psychological issues that seem to be growing by each day. I look around and my heart breaks looking at worried, fearful, lost and tense faces evidently fighting their own conflicts. It is impossible to read my book as I can't help wondering what battles these people must be encountering in their respective life. 

We all want to be happy, loved, be healthy and feel cared for. Those who are lost want to be found; the lonely ones want to be comforted with tender care and love, those who have lost the plot again and again want to get it all right and wish for one more chance even when in their heart they know they stand none. The way each one of us copes with suffering is interestingly varied and unique. As life rushes us on with hope for best and lands us our own share of worst, we all struggle for meaning and are afflicted with self doubt. 

Sometimes, life just sneaks up on us and it does not matter how great our social support, how big our bank balance, how insured our life might appear to be or how spiritually awake we might be – we all still fall prey to our fears, feeling naked, threadbare by the realization of ultimate truth that nothing can be taken for granted and one doesn't know what the next moment really holds for us! Within fraction of a second, all the beautiful, blessings that life bestows on us unasked, can be taken back without any prior notice!  

While I am lost in typing my thoughts, a toddler from across the hall, suffering with Leukemia takes hesitant, fragile steps walks to me trying to reach my face with his tiny fingers. Scared to lift him in my embrace lest I hurt him, I look in his lovely eyes and faint smile that reflects his struggle to overcome his pain. He tries to engage me in conversation that is difficult to comprehend and yet there is something sublime going on between the two of us for few moments! 

And in those profound moments of divinity in most unexpected circumstances, I realize, life has its rhythm and we have ours, both beautifully designed to coexist in harmony so that when we do what needs to be done from our end and just let life be, we garner acceptance and serenity. Abiding by and accepting what is beyond our control, we can transform the moment and become awakened to the beauty that surrounds us and also that lies within. 

Sometimes, life is a bitch!

Oh my! The festival of Diwali appears to have come and gone in a jiffy! Once in a while I still hear an occasional crackle of a stray rocket or bomb. There are remnants of celebrations at the entrance of some homes; dried flower garlands hangings, dark coloured residues of disheveled rangolis, tiny pools of melted wax and ash discharged from colourful, designer diyas. The mood of festivity is slowly receding and I find myself wondering where last month has just flown by? 

For first time in life, Diwali turned out to be bleak for me and my family due to a tragedy. In a completely shocking turn, life caught us off-guard. My Mother in law was detected with colon cancer few weeks back and since, hell broke loose. She was operated upon successfully and is currently recuperating under our watchful eyes and intensive care but this tragic event and the trauma that has followed has shaken us to the core.

As such, dealing with cancer is a huge challenge and older the patient, more difficult it is to deal with them. More than the physical pain it is the psychological pain that causes suffering both to the patient and the immediate family which is most difficult challenge to cope up with. It is interesting how when such tragedies strike, we get to see the real strength of character of family. Each day, it is a struggle to get life back to as normal as possible. I know, it is a long journey and needs extraordinary strength, patience and understanding. 

I just hope and pray God to give us enough strength to get over this tragedy and move on without carrying any bitterness. 

The three most important lessons I have learnt in last four weeks are;

1) No matter what all and how much you might have genuinely helped others in life, and even if it is done out of goodness, without expecting anything in return, some of them WILL fail to show even basic courtesy without iota of guilt or shame, when you are dealing with difficult times and need moral support.

2) We are not supposed to always know the why behind the wisdom.

3)  Pain invites us to grow. 

"Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.”

~Eckhart Tolle