Since last couple of days, an article "India: the story you never wanted to hear" by Rose Chasm (http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023053) has gone viral on social networking sites. After reading that article, I was stunned, appalled and deeply shamed. What also shocked me was the response on social networking sites/media channels on this painful story that reflected not just deep anguish/concern/empathy for Rose and unfortunate victims like her but also a dangerous mind-set of labelling/pronouncing all Indian men as rapists/perverts.
Another unfortunate event that coincidentally happened last week, a photo journalist was gang-raped in Mumbai and the sad incident shook the country. Media and social networking sites went berserk like usual and the tamasha of blame game still continues!
Pain of rape or any form of abuse is very difficult to put in words and the damage it causes to the victim is difficult to comprehend. Being a woman, I can imagine the trauma Rose and many unfortunate victims like her have to suffer. Many Indian women have experienced some form of abuse in varied degrees that Rose narrates in her agonizing outburst. But to conclude that all Indian men are rapists or perverts would be like dismissing and deriding entire collective without blinking an eye and that, I find very unfair and unacceptable.
Yes, there are sick people who don't flinch while abusing others for sake of their pervert satisfaction. Any form of abuse occurs where there is mind-set of entitlement; entitlement to do whatever it takes to satisfy one's deviant needs. This sense of entitlement breeds not only in societies where the voice of patriarchy always sabotages voice of girl child on issues of equality and equal opportunities; or societies where a male child is treated as God's greatest gift to humanity. Crimes against women happen everywhere in world, even in most advanced, socially liberated societies. Women are raped even in countries where stringent laws are implemented well. And by saying this, I am not trying to trivialize the enormity of issue of crimes against women. Rapists/abusers don't belong to any particular caste, creed, nationality, social/educational/financial strata of a society, they are born out of regressive environment, unhealthy mind-set of sex-in-your-face macho-ism, chest thumping aggression to proclaim ultimate male virility that revels in power tactics to abuse as a means of perverse pleasure.
I happen to know interesting range of people right from slums to people working at very senior positions in corporate sector. Like all women, I am aware how it feels when someone ogles, or tries to rape you with eyes. I know how violated a woman feels when a formal handshake during business meeting lasts longer than it should. I have experienced violation when someone posted audacious comments on my photograph on facebook, crossing line of decency. And in spite of these experiences I would not like to generalize men and call them "jerks". The men I know, observe, interact with and am surrounded by are educated, evolved and decent people with a gender-sensitive conscience; they are equally pained by gruesome and tragic incidents of crimes against women and are deeply disturbed to be portrayed as debauchers and brutes. I have met men; complete strangers, who have turned out to be very decent, protective, respectful, cultured (irrespective of the background) and have always been very kind and helpful to me.
What happened with Rose and so many victims like her is deeply disturbing. I am in favour of zero tolerance for crimes against women or for that matter anybody irrespective of gender. It is great to bring awareness of serious issues and spread the message by participating in constructive discussions but let us be careful about not ending up punishing those who are not guilty by passing our harsh judgments on them. Let's not punish the innocents please!
Pain of rape or any form of abuse is very difficult to put in words and the damage it causes to the victim is difficult to comprehend. Being a woman, I can imagine the trauma Rose and many unfortunate victims like her have to suffer. Many Indian women have experienced some form of abuse in varied degrees that Rose narrates in her agonizing outburst. But to conclude that all Indian men are rapists or perverts would be like dismissing and deriding entire collective without blinking an eye and that, I find very unfair and unacceptable.
Yes, there are sick people who don't flinch while abusing others for sake of their pervert satisfaction. Any form of abuse occurs where there is mind-set of entitlement; entitlement to do whatever it takes to satisfy one's deviant needs. This sense of entitlement breeds not only in societies where the voice of patriarchy always sabotages voice of girl child on issues of equality and equal opportunities; or societies where a male child is treated as God's greatest gift to humanity. Crimes against women happen everywhere in world, even in most advanced, socially liberated societies. Women are raped even in countries where stringent laws are implemented well. And by saying this, I am not trying to trivialize the enormity of issue of crimes against women. Rapists/abusers don't belong to any particular caste, creed, nationality, social/educational/financial strata of a society, they are born out of regressive environment, unhealthy mind-set of sex-in-your-face macho-ism, chest thumping aggression to proclaim ultimate male virility that revels in power tactics to abuse as a means of perverse pleasure.
I happen to know interesting range of people right from slums to people working at very senior positions in corporate sector. Like all women, I am aware how it feels when someone ogles, or tries to rape you with eyes. I know how violated a woman feels when a formal handshake during business meeting lasts longer than it should. I have experienced violation when someone posted audacious comments on my photograph on facebook, crossing line of decency. And in spite of these experiences I would not like to generalize men and call them "jerks". The men I know, observe, interact with and am surrounded by are educated, evolved and decent people with a gender-sensitive conscience; they are equally pained by gruesome and tragic incidents of crimes against women and are deeply disturbed to be portrayed as debauchers and brutes. I have met men; complete strangers, who have turned out to be very decent, protective, respectful, cultured (irrespective of the background) and have always been very kind and helpful to me.
What happened with Rose and so many victims like her is deeply disturbing. I am in favour of zero tolerance for crimes against women or for that matter anybody irrespective of gender. It is great to bring awareness of serious issues and spread the message by participating in constructive discussions but let us be careful about not ending up punishing those who are not guilty by passing our harsh judgments on them. Let's not punish the innocents please!
Well said, Grace. This is a good example of abuse of social networking sites.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pulak !
DeleteLabeling men will not help. The problem is with the society we live in. Root cause is hypocrisy. Then there is a age long problem of treating women as objects of desire, fruits of lust. Men have not grown out of their adolescence. Cowards. These are not men but body of lust. The problem will not go away as long as men refuse to confront their own desires and develop the ability to express it in a civilized way. It is manly to propose and being turned down but cowardly to force yourself - when will this simple truth get accepted......
ReplyDeleteAgree with you there non-conformist. We need to change our mindsets and the way we raise our children and for that to happen, people need to be educated. I believe the root cause of all the problems is lack of education and by education, I don't mean literacy only. Thank you for your participation. Its nice to know your views and perspective.
ReplyDelete