I received a message from a facebook friend asking me to change my profile picture and instead leave the display picture box with complete black out as mark of a "movement" to show what world might be without women and protest against abuse and violence women go through. I immediately obliged bit apprehensively though, wondering if it was just tokenism. No problem with that either I thought as long as women show solidarity considering latest gruesome rape and murder cases Indian media has brought light to recently. A few minutes later I received misogynistic forwards that reflected women in very poor taste from the same friend!
We are all more fallible than we admit and increasingly in this world of social media where we portray different personas; one that shows our socially caring side, which protests social injustice with unusual vehemence and the other more real one when we slip into easy familiarity of slothful behaviour, we are increasingly being torn apart by these dichotomies within ourselves in conflict and in variance with each other. That deserting bravado one speaks of is when one tries to actually be what one portrays publicly and find that it is tougher than one thinks. (My friend who forwarded those message isn't perhaps aware of contradiction in her behaviour!)
Past few days have been one of those rare times when most of Indians feel united. United in grief, shock, anguish, frustration and sheer helplessness. The tragic events of gang rape and murder have yet again awakened perpetually neglected issue of crime against women in India. The chilling details of Asifa Bano and Unnao rape and murder cases are painfully shocking and while they might brew our blood, it is important to check if we are teaching our children right values. Rapist are the kind of breed that is product of environment that treats women as commodity; to be used, abused and treat inhumanly without iota of guilt or shame. Such mindsets get nurtured from formative years that deeply ingrain message that women are inferior to men.
My inbox is full with invitations for candle light marches, signature campaigns and a few talks on the subject. Is it enough? With the way crimes against women are growing, I feel the culture of mass protests doesn't serve much purpose except serving as mere 'feel good factor" in appeasement of our collective conscience. Any means of protest has to be used appropriately to hold potency to provoke discourse and bring the necessary change.
One doesn't need to explore in to the interiors of the country to realize that caveman's mentality is still intact and the balance of power is off in our regressive, patriarchal society, even in the urban cities amidst our homes and work places. We need to ask tough questions about what are we doing to educate and change deeply ingrained conditioning that leads to discrimination and gender bias?
Gender politics and the comprehension of equality and humanism needs to be addressed urgently today. But, changing reality needs changing mindsets, attitudes and behaviour.
There is dire need to integrate the voices that reflect our ground realities and raise the issues to local, national and global level, to the extent that they become movements, helping harness influence over policy/decision makers and protect womens' rights. Unless we make a conscious effort to work towards making each day count in working towards bringing necessary change, the dangerous disconnect will continue to erode our social fabric. Can we afford it as society? If not, what are we doing about it?
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